I say "I really" as an expression to emphasize how strongly I feel, regardless of the reality, or lack of, because all my speech is habitually learned. I do not pre-think my words before I send them out to the world, because I often got punished and was shamed for not responging fast enough.
I had to cut corners, and I was under age 10 when I seem to have fully eliminated forethought.
2/?
Texting was introduced and I find myself with an emotionally painful loss for not responding immediately
Oh no, I am once again sadded by the thought of the loss of Runewater, and I lost him when Dial up was current, My NEOPET. Why why did he have to make that short deadline, I could not respond fast enough, I had to proofread first... and so.. that showed me, I cant take the time to proofread, and I have failed to undo this habit.
(well more thoughts spawned I didnt have earlier).
My real life mouth says outloud "Does it still hurt to think about losing runewater?"
(My eyes widened, I pull back my hands from the keyboard and make claw hands facing up and I say, whispering volume as if I was to yell
"YES"
Yes. It pains me to think about Runewater. That is MY NEOPET MINE.
But I was told, my failure to respond before his deadline
4/~
@AutisticAdam@actuallyautistic One I've only heard a few people talk about so far is struggling to leave something unfinished.
This is also one of the traits that conflicts with my ADHD the most.
It's an uncomfortable situation to be stuck between not being interested in something anymore(and not being able to make any meaningful progress because of it), but also not being able to let it go yet.
@Aerliss@AutisticAdam@actuallyautistic I rarely throw things away...I thought it was because I was a cheapskate. I usually try to fix or repurpose it, if possible, although as I've gotten older and less capable I've had to be a bit more willing to let broken things go.
@roknrol@AutisticAdam@actuallyautistic I have a load of plastic food pots I was repurposing as plant pots, but now I don't have the time/spoons for gardening... and also not the spoons to sort and clean them for recycling so they're just taking up space.
Clumsy phraseology, in fact we have our own private language (sort of) with my wife where we use phrases we either invented because they made more sense than the actual one or one of us misspoke (or mispronounced deliberately or by mistake) something and decided it sounded better.
This also involves seamless combination of multiple actual languages with mixed grammar (conflicting rules from different languages forced together into hybrid sentences).
An easy to parse (and English only) example would be;
"Are we dinner?" meaning "I'm trying to decide if I want to have dinner, what about you?"
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