Narayoni, to bookstodon
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Regular people problems 🤣

From Mort by Terry Pratchett (Discworld series)

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Narayoni, to bookstodon
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So Behemoth (the cat) has some really cogent arguments and demands!

(Quotations from The Master And Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov)

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"Sit down at once and stop slinging this verbal muck.’ ‘I shall sit down,’ replied the cat, sitting down, ‘but I shall enter an objection with regard to your last. My speeches in no way resemble verbal muck, as you have been pleased to put it in the presence of a lady, but rather a sequence of tightly packed syllogisms, the merit of which would be appreciated by such connoisseurs as Sextus Empiricus, Martianus Capella, and, for all I know, Aristotle himself.’"--A quotation from The Master And Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov.

Narayoni, to bookstodon
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The "biscuit" joke from So Long and Thanks for all the Fish by Douglas Adams is now one of my favourite jokes from the series

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2/3 "‘I went into the breach again. I took,’ said Arthur, ‘another biscuit. And for an instant our eyes met.’ ‘Like this?’ ‘Yes, well, no, not quite like that. But they met. Just for an instant. And we both looked away. But I am here to tell you,’ said Arthur, ‘that there was a little electricity in the air. There was a little tension building up over the table. At about this time.’ ‘I can imagine.’ ‘We went through the whole packet like this. Him, me, him, me . . .’"
3/3 "‘There is that. So. When the empty packet was lying dead between us the man at last got up, having done his worst, and left. I heaved a sigh of relief, of course. As it happened, my train was announced a moment or two later, so I finished my coffee, stood up, picked up the newspaper, and underneath the newspaper . . .’ ‘Yes?’ ‘Were my biscuits.’ ‘What?’ said Fenchurch. ‘What?’ ‘True.’"--extracts from So Long and Thanks for all the Fish by Douglas Adams (The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series).

Narayoni, to bookstodon
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Oh I would really like to meet Mr Woland's cat. He would create some interesting chaos! From by

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Narayoni, to bookstodon
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This lady has lightnings to deliver. What do you think you are doing, by holding her up? 🤣
I find this so funny without context!

A quotation from The Master And Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov
@bookstodon @bookstadon

Narayoni, to bookstodon
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This lady has lightnings to deliver. What do you think you are doing, by holding her up? 🤣
I find this so funny without context!

@bookstodon @bookstadon
Quotation from the Master And Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov

Narayoni, to bookstodon
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Poor fellow! What an unfortunate god 🤣 🤣

A quotation from by ( series)

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Narayoni, to reading
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Behold! A solvent, disciplined #cat 🤣
A model citizen! I think he would make a very entertaining co - passenger 🤣🤣

Quotations from The Master And Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov

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#themasterandmargarita #mikhailbulgakov #literature #jokes #humor #funny #funnycat #satire #comedy #bookquotes #funnyquotes #reading #books #amreading #russianliterature

"Neither the conductress nor the passengers were struck by the essence of the matter: not just that a cat was boarding a tram-car, which would have been good enough, but that he was going to pay! The cat turned out to be not only a solvent but also a disciplined animal. At the very first shout from the conductress, he halted his advance, got off the footboard, and sat down at the stop, rubbing his whiskers with the ten-kopeck piece. But as soon as the conductress yanked the cord and the tram-car started moving off, the cat acted like anyone who has been expelled from a tram-car but still needs a ride. Letting all three cars go by, the cat jumped on to the rear coupling-pin of the last one, wrapped its paws around some hose sticking out of the side, and rode off, thus saving himself ten kopecks.” --A quotation from The Master And Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov.

Narayoni, to bookstodon
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Oh I totally get that man.... Though I my case I'm too lazy to do calculations in my head... 🤣

"For a moment or two the old man didn’t reply. He was staring at the instruments with the air of one who is trying to convert Fahrenheit to centigrade in his head whilst his house is burning down."

From by ( series)
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Narayoni, to bookstodon
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Now that's a "killer" team lol 😂 🤣
At The Lords no less... 🤣 (quotation from by

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Narayoni, to bookstodon
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These lines from #therestaurantattheendoftheuniverse by #douglasadams are a satire on the extent of selfishness and shortsightedness we as humans can be sometimes prone to, as seen all too commonly around us.

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Narayoni, to reading
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I, for one, am all for our our Lord and Savior, the #cat !! 🤣 🤣

"‘It’s nothing to do with me,’ he said, ‘I am not involved with people. The Lord knows I am not a cruel man.’
‘Ah!’ barked Zarniwoop, ‘you say “The Lord”. You believe in something!’
‘My cat,’ said the man benignly, picking it up and stroking it. ‘I call him The Lord..." from #therestaurantattheendoftheuniverse by #douglasadams ( #thehitchikersguidetothegalaxy series)

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Narayoni, to bookstodon
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The whole "bovine" joke in by was hilarious. It got me thinking: how would I feel if an animal I was about to consume came up to me enthusiastically conveying its consent for being eaten? I will be horrified, just like Arthur! But why?
Will it be better to eat against its consent instead? Why?
Then… what about salad's consent?!🤣
Interesting thought experiment...

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"A large dairy animal approached Zaphod Beeblebrox’s table, a large fat meaty quadruped of the bovine type with large watery eyes, small horns and what might almost have been an ingratiating smile on its lips. ‘Good evening,’ it lowed and sat back heavily on its haunches, ‘I am the main Dish of the Day. May I interest you in parts of my body?’ It harrumphed and gurgled a bit, wriggled its hind quarters into a more comfortable position and gazed peacefully at them. Its gaze was met by looks of startled bewilderment from Arthur and Trillian, a resigned shrug from Ford Prefect and naked hunger from Zaphod Beeblebrox. ‘Something off the shoulder, perhaps,’ suggested the animal, ‘braised in a white wine sauce?’ ‘Er, your shoulder?’ said Arthur in a horrified whisper."--quote from the Restaurant at the end of the Universe by Douglas Adams (The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series).
"‘You mean this animal actually wants us to eat it?’ whispered Trillian to Ford. ‘Me?’ said Ford, with a glazed look in his eyes. ‘I don’t mean anything.’ ‘That’s absolutely horrible,’ exclaimed Arthur, ‘the most revolting thing I’ve ever heard.’ ‘What’s the problem, Earthman?’ said Zaphod, now transferring his attention to the animal’s enormous rump. ‘I just don’t want to eat an animal that’s standing there inviting me to,’ said Arthur, ‘it’s heartless.’ ‘Better than eating an animal that doesn’t want to be eaten,’ said Zaphod. ‘That’s not the point,’ Arthur protested. Then he thought about it for a moment. ‘All right,’ he said, ‘maybe it is the point. I don’t care, I’m not going to think about it now. I’ll just . . . er . . .’"--quote 2 from the Restaurant at the end of the Universe by Douglas Adams (The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series).

Narayoni, to bookstodon
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Wise words from :
(from )

People = Products of a deranged imagination 🤣🤣🤣

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markwyner, to random
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This literally made me laugh out loud. I wish I knew who made it.

Update: thanks to @alexskunz we have an illustrator credit. Nick Hardcastle from this awesome article:

https://www.mrporter.com/en-us/journal/lifestyle/how-to-escape-from-a-moving-car-707094

JMMontpelier, to academicchatter
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Dust off your Dad jokes – today is !
Check out our post on 's witty sense of humor (w. a few so old that they need some context).
🔗 https://digitaldoorway.montpelier.org/2020/03/26/the-mischievous-mr-madison/?utm_content=bufferb60f5&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer

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