Adramis, 11 months ago (edited 11 months ago)

Bi transman here - the answer to your question is because queer people have a lot of misandry. There’s been a great movement to push people to recognize their misogyny, but misandry is still largely acceptable and even popularized to some extent. Because people equate “masculine” with “privileged”, people equate men with the shitty assholes in their life who have put them and other queer people down, even when the men they’re talking to have always been allies and often haven’t had a lot of the privileges people think they’ve had. There’s lots of axes of oppression, but even so queer men especially often lose a lot of the male privilege people assume they get.

I’ve had transwomen tell me that men should be rounded up and killed, and when I said that was sexist, told that included me. I’ve had non-binary people tell me that they identify as transmasc but not as a transman because men are toxic - even knowing that I am a transman. That person was a long-term ‘friend’ of several years. I’ve had multiple people say they’d feel safer in shared spaces if there weren’t men present, even while I was sitting there, as another queer person trying to find a safe space.

It’s a really big problem in the community that has gone largely unaddressed. I think things are getting better, but it’s extremely hard not to feel isolated from the only community that is supposed to be accepting of us.

FWIW though the video is supposedly talking about that problem and how to make it better. It’s a god-awful title for a community that’s supposed to be very caring and careful about people’s trauma, though, and proves the point that the community is much more accepting of misandry than of misogyny. If someone posted a video titled “Why we hate bi women” with the thumbnail of “Don’t date bi women”, it would probably have already been removed for being triggering, even if the point is to lampshade the problem.

There’s lot of us out here, even if it doesn’t feel like it. I’m really hoping we’ll find more spaces that are really, actually accepting of us.