TIL that there's a pride flag to represent queerness itself.
"Queer is an identity in and of itself that more and more people are choosing to identify with. It is a sort of label for those who don’t want to put themselves in a box. Often considered a movement, queer people are those who fall outside of and/or renounce the cultural norms around sexuality, gender identity, and/or gender expression.
The word queer can mean different things to different people, but the most accepted definition is someone who is not cishet or someone with variant experiences with orientation, gender, and/or sex."
I see where you’re coming from, but I think the reason “queer” works well in that context is precisely because it’s a word that refers to the community as a whole, and not a specific experience within the community that is separate and different.
Calling yourself “queer” signifies nothing more that you’re part of the LGBT+ community. Which makes it a great label for those who don’t feel that any of the the other labels define them perfectly — but it also works well for those who do claim another label as their own, too.
To me, it’s important that it’s a word (and a flag) that unites us, and not one that is in any way exclusive.
(Although I agree that the flag is beautiful <3 and I’ll never tell anyone they can’t use a flag they want to use!)
Yeah, it’s both an overarching label for the LGBTQIA+ community at large and also a label that some people do identify personally with, as they may feel that no others really fit but they still are part of the community.
My wife, for example. I’m a trans girl, we married when I was still deeply buried in the closet. She’s ostensibly cishet - she’s more attracted to masculinity, she wouldn’t consider herself a lesbian or even bi, but nonetheless she’s happy married to another woman.
She’s doesn’t like saying she’s straight anymore - she says it doesn’t capture our relationship. She sees me for the woman I am, this isn’t a situation of her denying my gender, and she says it doesn’t feel like a straight relationship anymore. So if she has to pick a label she just calls herself queer and that’s good enough.