So I just watched "Watch please dont destroy the treasure of foggy mountains". The movie is about friendship. Do any of you guys (over the age of 30) have best friends ?
I don’t even have any regular friends and wouldn’t even begin to know how to make one.
I used to have a lot of friends, then I got clean.
I’m just not good at talking in that perspective. I can talk about specific topics but seem to lack the ability for small talk that making friends seems to require. In the past 6 years I thought I made a friend once, we worked together for a while and would talk a couple times a day, I was a little more advanced in my career so I would often help her with projects/teach her stuff, I even opened up a bit and let out my weird thoughts occasionally. It was good, then one day she just stopped responding.
I’m very content with having my wife and son as my best friends, but an actual friend would be nice.
I have a best friend. He lives in another state and we don’t talk as much as we used to, but whenever he actually comes online we usually chat or even play games together.
But he’s literally the only person I know in my life other than my father that would do everything in his power to help me if I needed it, and I would do the same for him.
Kind of. I’m 45, and met my best friend years ago here in Houston. He divorced his wife and moved home to Scotland, where I’ve been fortunate to visit him twice. He’s the ideal friend, though being across the ocean makes it incredibly hard to really maintain. We keep in contact, but that’s all. So now I’m either with my three teen daughters or alone with the dog. EDIT: Separated from my wife.
31, never heard of the movie but I have 2 close friends. One lives about 2 hours away and the other works like 60 hour weeks so I barely get to see him anymore. I try and get up with them as much as possible but it’s tough. We still maintain the friendship though, which is the important part
Male, 55, don’t have any friends any more after divorce, COVID lockdowns, and isolation due to cancer treatment destroying my immune system.
To be honest, it doesn’t really bother me much. I can do what I want, when I want, without having to deal with other people’s schedules and emotional blackmail.
I saw the movie last night with my kids and they didn’t enjoy. I didn’t particularly like it either.
I’m 43, and I don’t have friends. I have a girlfriend, and I have a “best friend” who’s not really in my life, but I can call at anytime and have a chat. I’ve known her for coming on nearly 30years. But day in day out friends, I don’t have them. I find it really hard to make friends. I overthink a lot and think a lot of people actually don’t care what I’m talking about. I find it difficult to believe people are genuine. I try so hard to look past that, but seemingly, most friendships end up being like work relationships.
Secondly, I’m 44 and I have a tight group of friends that I absolutely love. A few weeks ago we had a great camping trip together and we just had an awesome Thanksgiving party last night.
I’m incredibly lucky. Not everyone has it this good.
I have some friends, and some people that are really important to me. My brother and wife truly are my best friends, but aside from them, I had two other homies that were my best best buds. One from military days, and one since the sixth grade.
One drank himself to death and the other shot himself. But old trees just grow stronger. I’m just glad to still be here, you know.
But I miss those motherfuckers all the time. Actually thanks for making me think about it.
Best friends is up and down. Had one definitive best friend who died around 5 years back and I’ve got a few clusters of friends, such as school pals, people I’ve been in bands with.
Though in the past year a bunch of work pals and old bandmates have come together and formed a new band just to have fun with, cos we’re all getting on a bit and need a hobby I suppose. It’s been really nice seeing them very often, bringing people from one element of my life into the fray with those from another.
I don’t think I’ve felt more friendship than right now in a long time because of this!
Yes. Since I was 8. He moved states at one point which sucked. He’s been there for 8 years and is just now trying to move back north after a bad relationship. Actually that relationship despite her liking me he just kept cutting out everyone. He even started cutting me out. Then when it unraveled I was the one he called and helped him through it. Even then I hedged my bets and played neutral, just repeating back what he said and never giving advice
Anyways it’s been over 20 years of supporting each other. One toxic relationship ruined it for a bit but he’s someone I will always forgive and support.
I’m 32, I’ve never really been one to rank my friends but there’s a few I’d consider to be frontrunners
I have a guy I’ve been friends with since pre school, we sometimes forget to talk or hang out for months or occasionally years at a time, but always end up picking up right where we left off.
There’s a handful of friends who I can always hit up to do something and if they’re free they’re always up for an adventure or to lend me a hand with whatever I’m working on.
There’s of course my wife, which feels like a lame cop-out of an answer because of course my wife is my best friend
And there’s my dog, which is even more of a kop-out.
An interesting thing that’s happened this year is that probably about a half dozen people, both people I’d consider to be in the running for best friend, and ones who I wouldn’t necessarily rank that high (not that I don’t like them or think highly of them, just never quite thought of them that way) have told me how much they value my friendship, which I guess means I must be doing something right.
Kids are indeed a huge time/emotion/frustration sink that eat much of your life, and yet somehow still totally worth it.
But, I wouldn’t go so far as to say I don’t feel like I need friends. Children are very emotionally rewarding in a certain spectrum, but adult companionship is still a general need.
The thing with kids keeping you busy is that oftentimes friendships will tend to decay if you aren’t able to keep up with them, and if you put too much time into your kids you may end up as an empty nester 20 or so years down the line having raised your kids to adulthood successfully, only to discover you don’t have any friends left.
That kind of happened to my dad, I genuinely can’t name anyone that I’d really call his friend. Luckily he’s a bit of an introvert and my mom is sociable enough for the both of them, so I don’t think he’s exactly suffering for it, but it’s weird to think of kind of having to start from scratch at 50+ years old going out and trying to make some friends.
For my part I do my damnedest to keep my friends with kids in the loop, but it gets hard sometimes, and to make it work I’ve had to drag along far more rugrats on hiking and fishing trips than I ever really cared to.
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