how to break an addiction?

hey i’m not sure the title is accurate but i couldn’t think of anything better

basically i’ve been struggling with skin picking for my entire life

it started small

picking some overhangs and scans around my nails at 6

nothing too serious

as years went by it evolved into pretty severe skin picking, where i wasn’t able to go a day without making a lesion

and recently (like in the past year) the habit developed into full blown dermatilomania

i keep on picking to the point where my lesions can’t heal properly

the worst of it is i started picking skin on my heels to the point where i can’t walk properly anymore and when i do it causes me a lot of pain

it catches up to me in the evening when i’m bored

i’ve been advised to “occupy my hands with something” but what nobody seems to get is that it’s something i do absentmindedly i’m not sure what to do anymore

does anyone have similar experience or am i beyond help at this point ?

have a nice day

Damaskox,
@Damaskox@lemmy.world avatar

I love wasting spending lots of time on the computer.

I’m friends with Beeminder.
I started at one minute less per day. At the moment I get one day in the countdown when I’m off the machine for 165 minutes. I raise the value when I feel it - slowly and steadily.

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/152c47d7-25ba-475c-92b1-0ff2c5326777.png

lntl,
@lntl@lemmy.sdf.org avatar

im an alcoholic. one day, after a long trip down a dark and broken road, i decided to stop.

i used to drink in the evening when i was bored. nowadays, after dinner, in the evening, i take long walks. they’re typically 6 miles and last two hours.

you’ll stop if you really want to. getting the help of a professional or support group helps lots of people. good luck

Damaskox,
@Damaskox@lemmy.world avatar

Reminds me of one video. I recall his friends made a prank. The dude woke up from drinking too much in a hospital room where the nurse said that the had been comatose for many years.
To be clear, this wasn’t the case - it was just a prank.

…but I bet experiencing that would put some people to think.

Scarronline,

Dip your finger I’m pvc glue, letcit dry, peel it off. Repeat.

Or find an activity to distract. Don’t sit on the sofa and watch TV (if that’s where you pick), keep busy with other things.

justlookingfordragon,
@justlookingfordragon@lemmy.world avatar

In addition to what others have said already (seriously, see a doctor), it can also help to redirect the urge. If your brain currently demands something to be picked, it doesn’t have to be your skin - plucking on loose threads or fabric fuzz in an old towel until the surface feels smooth again, peeling labels off glass bottles until there is no paper left, anything with “tiny imperfections” that you can remove with a bit of fumbling can help to easen the urge without you damaging yourself in the process.

This is not “the solution” tho - it is only an additional little help to medication and therapy.

laughingsquirrel,

I feel you… For me, it sometimes help, when I notice that I’m doing it, to grab some knitting/stitching project or to grab a Rubix’ Cube. But as others said, a specialist would be a good idea.

When I saw your post I remembered a meme I saw on Lemmy, it’s kind of sad, but also makes me more aware of it…

https://discuss.tchncs.de/pictrs/image/adbfd858-2e4c-4d36-abae-8cc97ce17166.jpeg

aslafoo,

i haven’t seen this meme, it’s pretty funny, thank you low-key made my day better

laughingsquirrel,

💛

Dagwood222,

There are all sorts of 12 Step programs out there

www.12steps.nz/…/self-mutilators-anonymous/

LemmysMum,

I used to do this with my arms, I’d spend hours rubbing my fingers over my upper arms for pimples or anything similar. The excessive touching would inevitably cause more pimples, more squeezing and picking, more skin damage and scarring.

I stopped eventually in my late 20’s but it takes effort. Awareness is key. Try to be mindful when you do it. When you catch yourself, don’t beat yourself up, just recognise that you were doing it, remind yourself that it is damaging, remind yourself that you want to stop, and then stop doing it. Then do it again when you start doing it again.

You won’t succeed immediately and that is fine. This isn’t about hating yourself for your own behaviours or inability to act differently. This is about taking the active steps to train yourself not to act the way you have. It could take 6 months or a year, doesn’t matter as long as you try. It’s a behavioural addiction like any other that takes awareness and willingness to change.

Kanda,

It may sound stupid, but stop doing it. And then don’t start doing it again.

DagonPie,
@DagonPie@kbin.social avatar

Fuck off

Kanda,

I know, the truth hurts.

padjakkels,
@padjakkels@lemmy.world avatar

You can always try hypnosis therapy

sparrow,
@sparrow@pawb.social avatar

This is bad advice.

padjakkels,
@padjakkels@lemmy.world avatar

Why? Have you ever experienced hypnosis therapy? Do you know what hypnosis can do?

Remember the stage hypnosis that you see on TV or on stage is for the benefit of entertainment. Propper hypnosis therapy is for the benefit of the client. I am a hypnosis practitioner and have helped people break habits such as smoking, drinking, etc. Even helped people with anxiety.

donuts,
@donuts@kbin.social avatar

You should try to talk to a doctor or psychiatrist about this habit, especially if it's beginning to bother you and affect your life in other ways.

As for things you can do right away, how about sticking bandaids on your sores, this will help them heal and it'll also keep you away from the area. And don't wait until it gets bad, but even put bandaids on prematurely if it'll get you to stop compulsively messing with your skin.

Another thing is to buy some basic skin care tools. As someone who has the habit of biting my nails, sometimes until they bleed or are painful, I know that biting them can lead to making them rough, which just leads to making me even more compelled to bite the rough bits. For me it can really become a cyclical problem that's also likely driven by anxiety and depression. But by clipping and filling my nails with proper tools I can quickly break the cycle, because my nails will start to generally feel better. So maybe you can do something similar with your skin by exfoliating and using lotion! It's worth a try!

Finally I want to say that cannabis has been good for my personal type/level of anxiety, though I hesitate to recommend it because when though I don't find it addictive I think it maybe isn't great to recommend to someone who is experiencing addictive or compulsive behavior.

In the end I think some combination of therapy, behavior pattern breaking and maybe drugs if necessary, might be able to help you get away from self-harming compulsive behavior. Good luck!

doctorcrimson,

You break an addiction the same way you do literally anything else. Purpose in life, work ethic, and dedication to pursue your goals.

McSudds_,

Wow thanks I’m cured. Where do you recommend buying bootstraps?

doctorcrimson,

Feels like a pretty weak argument to compare my statement “give your life purpose” to the larger socioeconomic issue of lack of upward mobility of class. I didn’t tell anybody how to get rich quick, I told them how to rationalize an end to self harm.

mriormro,
@mriormro@lemmy.world avatar

This is some of the most hand waving vaguery I’ve ever read. You may as well have said that you break addiction by 'being rad '.

doctorcrimson,

I think I did kind of okay for an explanation on such a complex subject in only 23 words. I guarantee you that a person without all three of those things won’t break an addiction, but also yeah it can’t be any better defined because all three of them are subjective to the person in question. A good work ethic for me is not the same as it is to you, a purpose in life can be anything, and pursuing the goal can have wildly different meaning as well.

ace_garp,
@ace_garp@lemmy.world avatar

Gloves/mittens barrier.

Even thin cotton gloves will stop you from being able to use your nails to pick.

(But the real answer is speaking to a psychologist, and working through their best practice that has worked with countless others : )

Prking,
@Prking@lemmy.world avatar

We have a friend who does this. To the point of bleeding. It is a recognised medical compulsive disorder condition (a desire for perfect skin so you want to remove the imperfections which makes it worse and so on)

Please do see a doctor. They won’t think badly of you and can help.

aslafoo,

i used to pick at the skin on my face as well, it wasn’t much of a body image issue thing in my case but still it was way more convenient and entertaining then focusing on boring class for example thank you for responding and my heart goes out for your friend i hope they’ll find their peace and feel better thank you again and have a lovely day

diffusive,

Picking skin is a symptom of something much deeper (and possibly darker).

The fact that you want to get rid of it is great but as someone mentioned you need help.

I would suggest reading “The body keeps the score” it may give a glimpse of the issue… But you need a professional

Good luck dear internet stranger and remember that you are lovable and loved

aslafoo,

thank you, i really needed to hear that i’m aware my “habit” probably stems from my anxiety, but it’s really hard to simply not be anxious all the time yknow? thank you for taking your time to respond have a lovely day

Chetzemoka,

Just to let you know, picking skin is not inherently a symptom of some deep hidden trauma. Sometimes brains do things a little randomly without there being deep psychological reasons behind it all, and that’s fine, if that’s the case.

Talk to your therapist about it, but don’t think you need to go hunting down some secret trauma, if you don’t feel traumatized or don’t remember experiencing trauma. Because sometimes the answer is just “brains do be like that though”

somethingsnappy,

So sorry, dear one. I have had many physical ticks, habits, addictions. Only one has been terribly damaging. I haven’t been able to stop that one, but I have been able to stop some. My technique has been replacing a harmful one with one less harmful. I’m not sure I have specific advice other than to talk to a psychiatrist. In the most stressful time of my life, I managed to stop chewing my nails by taking anti anxiety meds. When life evened out, I didn’t need them anymore (now I am meticulous about nail clipping and filing). I stopped picking at my feet when I got a foot rasp. Using it after baths with just my feet in the tub it felt like I got what I needed without hurting myself. Keep working, but professional help is best.

aslafoo,

thank you for taking your time to respond i’ve never considered a foot rasp before but maybe i should really give it a try thank you again have a nice day

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