What exercises can I do to strengthen my willpower?

I’ve realized that I’m very mentally weak and it’s impacting my success.
I suspect I have ADHD and whenever I get an urge to distract myself, I rarely manage to resist it.
I think what I am missing is the residtance to discomfort that eg. allows sports people to carry on going even when their muscles are telling them to stop. Or the thing that allows people to defy themselves and step into an ice-cold shower.

Unfortunately I am not a person who enjoys sports and a cold shower is only something that makes sense once a day. Can you think of any exercises that I can do here and now in my room, and practice routinely that will strengthen my willpower so that I can better resist my urges in the future?

001100010010,
@001100010010@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

Hold in your poop for 3 days.

lntl,
@lntl@lemmy.sdf.org avatar

Buy yourself a pack of cigarettes.

Smoke one, I promise it will be disgusting. Later that day, will yourself outside to smoke another. Repeat 2 or 3 times a day until the pack is gone. Live this way and be addicted to nicotine for a year. After a year, do it in reverse and quit.

Afterwards, you’ll be able to will anything into reality.

Jellojiggle,

“Just do it” is such easy advice to give but I feel your pain OP. There are things I want to accomplish that I CANNOT get myself up to do. I can’t execute plans or schedules for things that don’t immediately threaten my livelihood. It’s a real PITA. Executive dysfunction is a term I’ve read about recently that describes this.

I’m convinced the way we think about things is the driving force. For example, I’ve always struggled to work out regularly. What’s really been helping me the last month is the mantra “I’ll never regret working out but I absolutely will regret not working out”. So try to critically evaluate your thought processes behind the things you want to accomplish and see if there is another way of thinking about it that makes doing it easier.

SubArcticTundra,

I really like your mantra – yeah it really helps me when thoughts like this reframe the way I look at things. I often struggle with being paralized by guilt, for example the guilt of having put an email off for too long, or tge fear that starting ti revise for my exams now would make me feel guilty that I didn’t start preparing earlier. I wish I had a similar mantra for that

Jellojiggle,

Yes! The guilt eats you alive and completely paralyzes you! I never could figure out what made me tick to help improve my study habits. But I just graduated so I managed and now I’m done forever! You will always wish you started sooner, no matter how early you start.

For little things like emails, consider how they take barely 5 mins to do. We have 1,440 minutes in a day and we can’t even take 5 to send the freaking email?! I use that mindset for chores too. I gripe and moan about the kitty litter box but it takes 60 seconds to just scoop the damn thing.

SubArcticTundra,

Ahh putting it into perspective does sound like it would help me. Unfortunately for me writing an email usually takes closer to 20 minutes because I’m really slow at phrasing what I have to say and I sit around stuck on trying to phrase my email in a way that doesn’t sound too commanding/impolite/etc . Have you ever had this? It might be an ADHD thing idk.

Jellojiggle,

I’ve experienced that as well with emails. I’ve gotten faster over the years because of the amount I’ve had to send but have definitely spent 30+ minutes writing some of them. I will write it and then read it out loud to myself to make sure it makes sense and, like you said, doesn’t sound rude or aggressive. Realistically, no matter how careful you are people still might misinterpret it. I’ve never been diagnosed or sought to be diagnosed with ADHD so it’s hard to say. I’m too stubborn to seek a diagnosis and try meds because it’s just one more thing for me to forget to do 😅

jandar_fett,

Don’t overthink it. That helps me. Obviously match your phrasing to the situation like if it needs to be formal, be formal, but if not then just write it out and send it.

foggy,

Siiiigh. I don’t wanna. It’s true though.

Cold showers.

Especially after warm shower for the first half.

You should aim to barely be reacting. Focus on your breathing to distract your whole nervous system from the feeling of discomfort the cold water brings.

You’re training your body to not react to adverse events. To roadblocks, to shitty situations, to things that might otherwise derail you.

Cold showers are key.

Or, ya know… Batting cages.

SubArcticTundra,

Or, ya know… Batting cages.

Bruh this is precisely the sort of training I need

ablackcatstail,
@ablackcatstail@lemmy.goblackcat.com avatar

I would say first and foremost be kind to yourself, @SubArcticTundra. Strengthening your willpower begins with good self-care techniques. Set regular, realistic, and achievable goals and when you achieve them, do something positive for yourself. Too often we are our own worst enemies and by beating yourself up you actually make it harder to achieve what you really want. This is something I struggle with even though I do not have ADHD. Will-power comes not from negative reinforcement but from the positive kind. 😀

SubArcticTundra,

Thanks for this reminder, you’re right it’s really easy to start blaming yourself for failing at things that it’s not your fault you’re failing at

Kolanaki,
@Kolanaki@yiffit.net avatar

I’ve always felt that my willpower is the only thing I have any strength in. The trouble is, that in order to exercise my will, I must concentrate on doing so. With ADHD focusing on anything can be hard as fuck if there’s too many distractions. So I eliminate the distractions (or as many as I possibly can).

Nemo,

90% of willpower is preparation. Arrange your life to make the things you should do easier and the things you should avoid less convenient.

Example: To avoid sleeping in, or worse, dicking around on my phone instead of sleeping or getting up, I put my phone to charge on the other side of the bedroom.

Another: I put a speaker in my kitchen to listen to music when I wash dishes. A lot easier to wash just those last few pots, even if I feel like I’m ready for a break, if I want to finish the song.

SubArcticTundra,

Yeah I have been trying to do this and it has helped with my productivity. The problem is, it might make it easier for you to do but that is precisely because you are minimising the amount of willpower you have to use to get those things done. Which I think os what’s keeping me weak

MrShiftyCloak,

Two comments.

  • I would try and avoid negative self talk (weak) as it can really just reenforce guilt/shame. The classic example I learned in therapy was should statements. When you think/say I should have… It can bring alot of negativity but it’s usually easy to change it to a could or would statement. I would have or could have xyz. Would/could can be a slippery slope to excuse/procrastinate things but it’s okay to legitimately give your self a break when the circumstances warrant it. Brains need downtime, you don’t have to be filling 100% of your day
  • doing prep work isn’t cheapening your willpower as long as your consistent and apply it to everything and not just the easy things. Another trick I learned is to try and break a task down into the smallest step you can do to make progress. Step one could literally be get a pad of paper, or change into work out clothes. It makes taking the next step easier and also is kinda like “Well I already have the pen and paper I might as well get writing” or “I’m changed so I might as well do something” even if it’s just a walk or jog. But again the key is consistentcy.
SubArcticTundra,

Oh thats a good point, turning a ‘should have’ into a ‘could have’ actually sounds really empowering because it must remove some of the guilt. And the taking the smallest step strategy sounds really helpful too – it reminds me of the concept of ‘non-zero days’ I read about a while back that I really have found effective

Ooops,
@Ooops@feddit.de avatar

Close this tab right now and promise yourself never come back to see if someone gave you an easy answer…

SubArcticTundra,

That would require some one time mental strength but would also make this post a bit pointless…(?)

DJDarren,

Trouble is, many of the techniques here are easy. But if you have ADHD, sticking to them is damn near impossible.

Granixo,
@Granixo@feddit.cl avatar

Watch all of the Rocky movies 🥊

pavnilschanda,
@pavnilschanda@lemmy.world avatar

Meditation. It’s scientifically proven to help with ADHD.

FortuitousMess,

For me, it’s 100% about positive self talk and mini goals. Instead of trying to motivate myself to run 5 miles, it’s one 100ft section at a time. Fix a goal I can see, then run there and give myself a mental high five for getting there. Then do it again one more time. And then one more time and on and on til I get to the end.

jandar_fett,

This is covered in a lot or depression literature, where you need to literally rewire your brain to defeat the attempt to reach homeostasis, which has become a depressed state. Little positive actions and thoughts that eventually rewire the neural pathways and create new ones little by little. If you want to learn more about that, the technical side made very understandable by a psychologist and neuroscientist who specializes in depression and anxiety, you should check out “The Upward Spiral”. It’s really good and i highly recommend it. It has helped me start the healing and coping process.

Candelestine,

This is going to be funny, but … edging yourself during masturbation.

SubArcticTundra, (edited )

Heh I guess I can see how that helps. Because I was thinking something along the lines of forcing myself to close a YT video half way through, which is essentially the same effect. (Not that YT videos make me orgasm or anything lol)

bilb,
@bilb@lem.monster avatar

Man, I haven’t seen any articles about how gooning can improve your willpower but I think i⁰ts only a matter of time.

DeadGemini,
@DeadGemini@waveform.social avatar

When you notice yourself not wanting to do something you know you should do, do it anyways. For me, it started with taking the stairs instead of the elevator at work. Snowball it from there. That’s really the only way, there aren’t shortcuts.

Arcane_Trixster,

In my head i call it the “Rule of least want to do”. If i have 2-3 tasks that need doing (ususlly work related), i think of which thing i least want to do. That’s the thing i get done, then move down the line.

MrShiftyCloak,

Yeah that’s basically the concept/book Eat that Frog. Basically if you Eat a Frog or do you least liked task first thing in the morning it makes everything else easier and not so bad.

SubArcticTundra,

Ahh I can imagine this helping. Can you remember any other examples?I think I’ve done stuff like this before with forcing myself to eat broccoli which I didn’t like but knew was good fkr me…

DeadGemini, (edited )
@DeadGemini@waveform.social avatar

Sure! I used to hate doing the dishes and would let them pile up until I had no clean ones left, so then if I looked at the sink and saw that there were dishes I didn’t want to do, I’d do them anyways. When I wanted to stop, I’d just keep going until they were done. Even if my back started hurting and my hands were soggy, even when I was so bored I wanted to tear my eyes out, I’d just keep going until they were done.

Making your bed is something you can do every day to build willpower. You don’t HAVE to do it, and usually probably don’t want to, but it only takes like 5 minutes and makes your living space look nice, which makes it a good exercise.

Idk how old you are, but I’m old enough to no longer live with my parents. They’re like almost an hour away. When they call to invite me over, my knee-jerk reaction is to stay home, but I know they’re not gonna be around forever and I should see them every now and again, so I’ll force myself to go visit.

Going to the gym, or going on runs also helps. Working out is hard, and staying consistent is even harder. Lifting weights/getting exercise is just as much a mental battle as it is a physical one. 4-5 days per week, 5 exercises per session, 3 sets of 10 reps. It’ll take about an hour to complete. There are more efficient ways to work out, but that would be a good starting point. Alternatively, run/jog for 30 min, or go on an hour long walk 5 days per week.

  • All
  • Subscribed
  • Moderated
  • Favorites
  • •
  • random
  • uselessserver093
  • Food
  • [email protected]
  • aaaaaaacccccccce
  • test
  • CafeMeta
  • testmag
  • MUD
  • RhythmGameZone
  • RSS
  • dabs
  • oklahoma
  • Socialism
  • KbinCafe
  • TheResearchGuardian
  • Ask_kbincafe
  • SuperSentai
  • feritale
  • KamenRider
  • All magazines
    •