What exercises can I do to strengthen my willpower?

I’ve realized that I’m very mentally weak and it’s impacting my success.
I suspect I have ADHD and whenever I get an urge to distract myself, I rarely manage to resist it.
I think what I am missing is the residtance to discomfort that eg. allows sports people to carry on going even when their muscles are telling them to stop. Or the thing that allows people to defy themselves and step into an ice-cold shower.

Unfortunately I am not a person who enjoys sports and a cold shower is only something that makes sense once a day. Can you think of any exercises that I can do here and now in my room, and practice routinely that will strengthen my willpower so that I can better resist my urges in the future?

Ooops,
@Ooops@feddit.de avatar

Close this tab right now and promise yourself never come back to see if someone gave you an easy answer…

SubArcticTundra,

That would require some one time mental strength but would also make this post a bit pointless…(?)

DJDarren,

Trouble is, many of the techniques here are easy. But if you have ADHD, sticking to them is damn near impossible.

Poggers,

I always get myself to do things I don’t want to by thinking “Future-me is going to be much happier when he finds that present-me did this already.”

Helps me find the motivation to exercise, make myself a good cup of coffee instead of a kcup, do the dishes after dinner, lots of things. And past me is such a bro, saved me from present-me having to do those things.

SubArcticTundra,

I’ve tried this before but it hasn’t worked for me so far unfortunately :-/ I thunk it’s because my brain sees tomorrow-me to be a different and detached person…

Nemo,

90% of willpower is preparation. Arrange your life to make the things you should do easier and the things you should avoid less convenient.

Example: To avoid sleeping in, or worse, dicking around on my phone instead of sleeping or getting up, I put my phone to charge on the other side of the bedroom.

Another: I put a speaker in my kitchen to listen to music when I wash dishes. A lot easier to wash just those last few pots, even if I feel like I’m ready for a break, if I want to finish the song.

SubArcticTundra,

Yeah I have been trying to do this and it has helped with my productivity. The problem is, it might make it easier for you to do but that is precisely because you are minimising the amount of willpower you have to use to get those things done. Which I think os what’s keeping me weak

MrShiftyCloak,

Two comments.

  • I would try and avoid negative self talk (weak) as it can really just reenforce guilt/shame. The classic example I learned in therapy was should statements. When you think/say I should have… It can bring alot of negativity but it’s usually easy to change it to a could or would statement. I would have or could have xyz. Would/could can be a slippery slope to excuse/procrastinate things but it’s okay to legitimately give your self a break when the circumstances warrant it. Brains need downtime, you don’t have to be filling 100% of your day
  • doing prep work isn’t cheapening your willpower as long as your consistent and apply it to everything and not just the easy things. Another trick I learned is to try and break a task down into the smallest step you can do to make progress. Step one could literally be get a pad of paper, or change into work out clothes. It makes taking the next step easier and also is kinda like “Well I already have the pen and paper I might as well get writing” or “I’m changed so I might as well do something” even if it’s just a walk or jog. But again the key is consistentcy.
SubArcticTundra,

Oh thats a good point, turning a ‘should have’ into a ‘could have’ actually sounds really empowering because it must remove some of the guilt. And the taking the smallest step strategy sounds really helpful too – it reminds me of the concept of ‘non-zero days’ I read about a while back that I really have found effective

ImInPhx,

Not exactly what you’re asking but possibly helpful-

I’ve found that ‘pairing’ the item of resistance to another established habit has been helpful. A decent example is putting my gym stuff on the bathroom counter. I have the habit of brushing my teeth in the morning and now I have my exercise clothes where I’m guaranteed to see them. It’s harder to make excuses and at this point you just gotta commit.

This might be more what you’re asking about-

I got the pairing idea from a great series on procrastination, Solving the Procrastination Puzzle by Tim Pychyl. The speaker takes the approach that resistance is not a matter of will power but a matter of emotional regulation. I recommend checking it out!

I listened to it on Waking Up but you might be able to find it elsewhere. Here’s a link to where I listened, free 30 days no credit card needed. (There is no incentive for me, just sharing what helped me) dynamic.wakingup.com/pack/PK0AA14?source=content …

Cortell,

When I was in grade 2 I had an old substitute teacher tell us a story about how he trained his willpower by setting an alarm every night at 3 am and when it went off he’d do 10 jumping jacks.

I tried it that night, got out of bed and did 2 jumping jacks before realizing this was the dumbest thing ever. If I had the willpower to get out of bed in the middle of the night to exercise I already had the willpower in the first place.

But weirdly enough ever since that night I’ve been able to get out of bed on the first alarm

001100010010,
@001100010010@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

Hold in your poop for 3 days.

foggy,

Siiiigh. I don’t wanna. It’s true though.

Cold showers.

Especially after warm shower for the first half.

You should aim to barely be reacting. Focus on your breathing to distract your whole nervous system from the feeling of discomfort the cold water brings.

You’re training your body to not react to adverse events. To roadblocks, to shitty situations, to things that might otherwise derail you.

Cold showers are key.

Or, ya know… Batting cages.

SubArcticTundra,

Or, ya know… Batting cages.

Bruh this is precisely the sort of training I need

lntl,
@lntl@lemmy.sdf.org avatar

Buy yourself a pack of cigarettes.

Smoke one, I promise it will be disgusting. Later that day, will yourself outside to smoke another. Repeat 2 or 3 times a day until the pack is gone. Live this way and be addicted to nicotine for a year. After a year, do it in reverse and quit.

Afterwards, you’ll be able to will anything into reality.

ablackcatstail,
@ablackcatstail@lemmy.goblackcat.com avatar

I would say first and foremost be kind to yourself, @SubArcticTundra. Strengthening your willpower begins with good self-care techniques. Set regular, realistic, and achievable goals and when you achieve them, do something positive for yourself. Too often we are our own worst enemies and by beating yourself up you actually make it harder to achieve what you really want. This is something I struggle with even though I do not have ADHD. Will-power comes not from negative reinforcement but from the positive kind. 😀

SubArcticTundra,

Thanks for this reminder, you’re right it’s really easy to start blaming yourself for failing at things that it’s not your fault you’re failing at

Candelestine,

This is going to be funny, but … edging yourself during masturbation.

SubArcticTundra, (edited )

Heh I guess I can see how that helps. Because I was thinking something along the lines of forcing myself to close a YT video half way through, which is essentially the same effect. (Not that YT videos make me orgasm or anything lol)

bilb,
@bilb@lem.monster avatar

Man, I haven’t seen any articles about how gooning can improve your willpower but I think i⁰ts only a matter of time.

Kolanaki,
@Kolanaki@yiffit.net avatar

I’ve always felt that my willpower is the only thing I have any strength in. The trouble is, that in order to exercise my will, I must concentrate on doing so. With ADHD focusing on anything can be hard as fuck if there’s too many distractions. So I eliminate the distractions (or as many as I possibly can).

Granixo,
@Granixo@feddit.cl avatar

Watch all of the Rocky movies 🥊

pavnilschanda,
@pavnilschanda@lemmy.world avatar

Meditation. It’s scientifically proven to help with ADHD.

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