Think about how you have treated both strangers and people you know to answer this question accurately. e.g.: If you say you like people but constantly avoid talking or doing any activity with other people do you actually like people?
I used to think I generally liked most people but it feels like covid made people go feral or something, the vibes are definitely off somehow. Just walking through the grocery store or anything in public feels much more tense than it used to and people are generally much more hostile.
Generally speaking, people are selfish assholes. But on occasion, a person will surprise me by being genuinely nice and it really lightens my day.
An example just from today…
Driving to Best Buy, I had to watch as someone swerved in and out of a lane, with zero regard to their surroundings, as if they didn’t know where to go, just for them to go to the Best Buy.
I went to park, and no less than three cars were over the lines making it difficult to park next to them.
Then in Best Buy, I had to dodge numerous people walking down the aisles with their head down staring at their phones instead of watching where they were going.
At the end of the experience, we were checked out by an amazingly nice and cheerful person who paid attention and interacted with respect and interest. While I understand it’s part of their job to be nice, I feel this person went above and beyond and just spoke to us like a cool human being.
So now my day feels good simply because of that one person. It’s sad that so many are the complete opposite. And to be fair, I’m a grouch a lot, so I am being hypocritical in what I say here. It’s so tough for me to be bright and cheerful when surrounded by such immense hostility, obliviousness, and rudeness.
People are awesome and exhausting at the same time. Socializing is like exercising. If I don’t do it I feel horrible. If I do it too much without a break I feel horrible. If I do it just enough, then stop doing it and rest, it’s nice. Moderation.
This is kind of like asking if I generally like or dislike all alligators. I’m fine with them and know enough about them not to enter the area where I know their instincts will tell them to prey on me. As long as I don’t do that we get along fine. I have some very good friends and family and can capably manage everyone else. I’ll even help someone who needs it while still being careful not to trigger those predatory instincts.
I try to remember that a lot of people are the way they are because of the conditions surrounding their existence, but that just depersonalizes my dislike for them in most cases, doesn’t really make you like someone who you wouldn’t otherwise.
I’m not hyper social - like at work there are people who only like to go get coffee WITH someone, I don’t even think about that, just go get coffee if I want it.
But I am comfortable with people and do like them & care about them, not a misanthrope. I think just because I am not usually alone, I like being alone. If I was usually alone, I’d want to hang out with people more.
Do I think we are a force for good in the world? No, I think collectively we are a big ol fuckup. But people can be so funny, so insightful, loving, helpful too. And I do think that over time we are improving, like two steps forward and one step backwards - the past was so violent, even in my lifetime my city has gotten much less violent. And we keep learning more about the world and universe.
I operate on the assumption that the overwhelming majority of people are nice, though I’ve run into more than my fair share of strangers that are complete dickheads. It feels like I’ve run into way more people who treat me kindly than cruelly (but that just be my own biases affecting my recollection).
Problem is, interacting with other people is tiring and after a long day I just want to curl up and stop existing but people waiting for the bus want to chat and strangers stop me in the street to make small talk.
I like some people and dislike others. I neither like not dislike people as a general category. I am an introvert because I require chunks of solitude to function. I am outgoing because I enjoy socialization.
I hate their unconscious brains but I think their consciousness is okay.
Humans are driven more by unconscious monkey brain then they care to admit. The people they like, hate, and pay attention to are largely unconscious behaviors. In this way, a human in a social setting is pure animal. The personality and ego are mere tools used by the human organism to navigate these social situations.
The human organism is a unconscious, cruel thing that should be abandoned as soon as possible. The egos created from it are okay. But asking them to separate themselves is hard for the trained let alone the layman.
Add comment