Anger issues? 💢

Hey. I was told having issues controlling anger or emotions in general can be related to ADHD. I know I get WAY angrier than anyone should ever be sometimes.

Especially when injustice and ignorance come my way. I get furious beyond anything I’ve ever seen or heard of anyone else talk about. Maybe aside from depictions of killers or berserkers in fiction. It’s not cool.

Only a few times have I gotten in trouble for it luckily and I never actually done anything more than shout the most disgusting insults at someone.

Now I do feel bad afterwards if I got angry at someone I like. But often enough I feel they fucking deserved it. If someone is an ignorant asshole willingly ruining someone’s day, week or life they deserve some ruin thrown back at them. I know this might not be a good and healthy thing to think. But if someone provokes someone don’t they ask to be yelled at?

I know they do this to ‘win the argument’ because of that imo idiotic notion that who yells first is wrong. But honestly I rarely care to be right enough for shit to matter.

I’ve read a few books on anger management and some techniques help a bit. But the amount of anger described in the book seems so very mild to me in comparison to what I experience and how fast it builds up. One book told me to count to three. I am ready to launch nukes before I reach 1. That won’t work.

And I don’t get angry at something. I have pure rage and fury, hatred and contempt for existence itself at those moments. Angry really doesn’t cut it. It’s scorched earth, blown it all up and piss on the ruins kind of anger.

So anyone else experience this? Any tips to deal with this shit?

HobbitFoot,

That you’re going straight to nuclear at 1 is troubling. You may need to get some professional help for that.

Azzu,

I mean they’re saying they go straight to nuclear, but they also say that they only ever shouted at people. I’ve unfortunately seen much stronger rage to the point where I would call shouting at people around “medium” anger.

RQG,
@RQG@lemmy.world avatar

Currently reading books while working in that part.

MisterMcBolt,

I think explosive, sudden anger is pretty common in many folks regardless of ADHD. However, as you’ve noted, if you feel that there is such intense rage in you that you might be acting irrationally then I would strongly recommend speaking with a therapist.

Everyone experiences and communicates their emotions differently. A good therapist can help you analyze your emotions and work with you to determine why your reactions might be so explosive. It could be due to past trauma, present anxieties, neurodivergence such as ADHD, medication side effects, or any combination of these things. They may even find that you felt or acted in an entirely appropriate manner given the contexts and help assuage your guilt.

ExceptionalCow,

You sound like me when I was young. I would easily explode for no reason and it felt like rage would burn me from inside. To be honest I never found a better way to deal with this other than simply getting older. At 48 I’m much more relaxed and don’t get that easily upset anymore. There are of course still things that annoy me but it’s by far not that intense anymore.

Thistlewick,

I have never related to something more.

I hate the way that I hate.

I just can’t fathom how some people can be so oblivious and inconsiderate to others, sometimes to the point of danger.

I don’t have a remedy or fix apart from letting you know that you aren’t alone.

RQG,
@RQG@lemmy.world avatar

I like the way you phrased it too. Very good words for thing.

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