@ashtardeza@mas.to
@ashtardeza@mas.to avatar

ashtardeza

@[email protected]

Fiction author (speculative fiction with a sinister bent), software dev, armchair philosopher.

I enjoy writing articles about things that interest me. General geekiness is implied.

Neurodivergent, living polyamourously and active in the kink community. #AuDHD

Discord: AshtarDeza

Header: library shelves with lightbulbs which cast a warm light. Photo by Janko Ferlič on Unsplash.

Profile picture: Ash in thought. A white man with a bald head and a beard, wearing a white shirt.

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

magicalgrrrl, to random
@magicalgrrrl@neurodifferent.me avatar

#ActuallyAutistic community!

How do I make friends as an adult? I'm new to my area and don't have any local friends or community. Have been struggling with loneliness a lot lately.

ashtardeza,
@ashtardeza@mas.to avatar

@MickG59 @magicalgrrrl @actuallyautistic

Well, it certainly fits my experience hanging around lots of autistic people.

Our personal pet hypothesis is that if society thinks you're weird anyway, you're less likely to try to fit in by conforming to heteronormativity.

ashtardeza,
@ashtardeza@mas.to avatar

@magicalgrrrl @actuallyautistic

Are there any boardgames meetups in your area? Those tend to be hotbeds of fun neurodivergent folks.

dickrubin716, to bookstodon
@dickrubin716@mastodonbooks.net avatar

I got a 1 star on my latest book yesterday. I’m trying to figure out how this happen, purely on a technical aspect. I’ve never sent an ARC to anyone named “Alexander.” Also, this person only has 15 total books read on their profile. The other 14 a different genre, then there’s my book. Best theory I can come up with is this person didn’t want to ruin their pristine account by giving a 1 star so used another account to do the dirty work. @bookstodon

ashtardeza,
@ashtardeza@mas.to avatar

@dickrubin716 @bookstodon

There is no guarantee they even read the book. Could it be someone trying to troll / annoy you?

ashtardeza,
@ashtardeza@mas.to avatar

@dickrubin716 @bookstodon interesting that it references plot points, which suggests they did in fact read the book.

It does read like they tried really hard to sound like actual critique, but it's also cleary a hit piece. No actual review is this exclusively negative.

ashtardeza,
@ashtardeza@mas.to avatar

@dickrubin716 @bookstodon but it really sucks to deal with this. These kind if things can hit pretty hard emotionally.

ashleyspencer, to actuallyautistic
@ashleyspencer@autistics.life avatar

Autistic Bookshop is live!
I'm sharing with all of you first. 🙂

Autistic Bookshop is the first self-publishing bookshop made for #ActuallyAutistic authors.

Authors keep their publishing rights and get 70% of the profit on every book they sell.

Autistic authors can self-publish:

  • Fiction
  • Non-Fiction
  • Comic Book
  • Cookbook
  • Photo Book
  • Coloring Book
  • Magazine
  • Calendar
  • Planner
  • Journal
  • eBook
  • Audiobook
  • Children's Book

https://autisticbookshop.com

@actuallyautistic @bookstodon

ashtardeza,
@ashtardeza@mas.to avatar

@ashleyspencer @actuallyautistic @bookstodon

That's a lovely idea! I might publish my novella there as well!

18+ sichkovskyi, to actuallyautistic
@sichkovskyi@social.noleron.com avatar

I just watched a fitness video trying to remember stuff / make a better routine for myself

Realized I am conscious of every little bit of "motivation" / "trigger" the author put in and the gym he's filming it put in their gym

Also realized that I'm as indifferent to those as I can be.

I remember when I was actively using Zwift for training on a road bike in winter, all those bits like points, colors, etc were super annoying and I ended up just setting up all the info on my Wahoo screen, podcast in earphones and Zwift was only basically a workout catalogue connected to my resistance trainer, changing it automatically for my convenience.

Eventually I stopped paying for it ofc.

I think there should be some thing or someone who will talk fitness motivation for autistic people. For real. I'm often terrified of the gym, of people there, house / techno music annoys the shit out of me but gymbros always say how annoying "headphone people" are on yt and other platforms so I feel very self-aware. Also locker rooms, etc etc etc.

Like I see how a poster with a very muscular man or woman or both will motivate a normal person "to be just like that" or how repetitive stale music will: a) help with maintaining tempo on exercises; b) contribute to the environment in a way your brain gets used to music being there so it helps trigger brain routines a little

I get it, I get it. Just like a bright flashy YOU WON on the screen triggers a gambling addict, lots of these things will trigger just normal people to work out and help them be successful at it.

For me, all of that is an obstacle. I always seek ways of avoiding the gym as a place so I'm slowly building myself from obese to okay with calisthenics. It is as predictable and calm as it is very slow. Sometimes it's okay and most of the times it's completely fine. (I can't add anything to my rented apartment tho so no pull-up bar at home for me and it's getting to winter fast)

So we'll see. To summarize: how do autistic people who do not have a special interest in fitness motivate themselves to consistently do fitness? 🤔

@actuallyautistic

18+ ashtardeza,
@ashtardeza@mas.to avatar

@chowderman @sichkovskyi @actuallyautistic

What I did is do bouldering. It's a great way to do strength training while keeping your mind engaged, and it has a better atmosphere in my opinion.

dav, to writers
@dav@social.maleo.uk avatar

Feel like I haven’t written anything in ages. Need to correct this urgently. Anyone any tips for finding time? I’ve no shortage of ideas 😂 @writers

Lisa Simpson: “Writing is the hardest thing ever!”

ashtardeza,
@ashtardeza@mas.to avatar

@dav @writers

Install a decent notes app on your phone that allows you to draft in stolen moments.

Lots of my stories start life as notes on my phone.

weebdeluxe, to bookstodon
@weebdeluxe@urusai.social avatar

Reading Pet Sematary for the first time while y'all be reading King's latest is a very special kind of mood.

How are you enjoying it so far?

@bookstodon

ashtardeza,
@ashtardeza@mas.to avatar

@StephM @weebdeluxe @bookstodon

I've never read it but now I'm thinking I should 😅

ashtardeza, to random
@ashtardeza@mas.to avatar

Kind of a weird realisation: I set out to write a fun, gory pulp horror story... and in many ways I did.

But.. it's also became a critique of toxic masculinity, and the way that the expectations placed upon men by patriarchy causes them to hurt themselves.

I didn't originally intend that, but it still happened... and I think it's a better book for it.

#WritingCommunity #AmWriting

hosford42, to actuallyautistic
@hosford42@techhub.social avatar

I'm . The sound of the train blowing its horn as it passes my house makes me cover my ears in pain. But the throbbing bass of the engine that causes a deep pressure in my chest from the vibration makes me feel happy.

When I was a kid, I used to crank up the bass of my parents' stereo and sit directly against the woofer to feel that pressure. They would always yell at me to turn it down. I've always loved that feeling.


@actuallyautistic
@neurodiversity

ashtardeza,
@ashtardeza@mas.to avatar

@markusl @hosford42 @Tooden @actuallyautistic @neurodiversity

Well, not quite no one else.. I have it too 😅

Guess we have the same mutation 😅

fictionable, to bookstodon
@fictionable@lor.sh avatar

How can we tell our own stories while obeying the new dogma against triggering? We must remember how to listen with empathy, argues Dina Nayeri.

Catch it at https://fictionable.world/blogs/dina-nayeri-fiction-memoir-biography-stories-triggering

@bookstodon

ashtardeza,
@ashtardeza@mas.to avatar

@fictionable @bookstodon

I think "the dogma against triggering" is not accurate.

As far as I know nobody ever claimed you shouldn't write anything that could ever trigger people. That's impossible.

What I do advocate for (and practise) is informed consent. I list potential trigger warnings in my fiction, so that a reader can make an informed decision whether they wish to expose themselves to it.

ashtardeza,
@ashtardeza@mas.to avatar

@fictionable @bookstodon

That is a good suggestion, and I'm all for writing deeply uncomfortable stuff. My work dives into lots of dark places, and I unsettle the reader.

But... we shouldn't demand from readers that they "toughen up" and just challenge themselves to step out of their comfort zone.

Especially for people with PTSS that can be a deeply painful experience.

So my point is that yes, write uncomfortable stuff, yes encourage people to challenge themselves. (1/2)

ashtardeza,
@ashtardeza@mas.to avatar

@fictionable @bookstodon

But also respect trauma and triggers. Give people the information to make an informed choice. Let everybody decide how far out of their comfort zone they'll step.

I mostly took umbrage with the article (and summary's) premise that there is some huge push to only write happy, comfortable stuff and that writers are being forced to censor themselves.

That just feels untrue to me, and a misrepresentation of valid concerns.

(2/2)

ashtardeza,
@ashtardeza@mas.to avatar

@Rhube @fictionable @bookstodon

That is a fair point. I'm aware of books being banned on moral grounds, usually by religious groups. If that's what you mean by purity culture than I agree.

What I took issue with is that the terminology used seemed to refer to "cancel culture" and avoid triggers. That is mostly a false narrative pushed by conservatives.

So, I wasn't so much saying "This hasn't happened to me so it's untrue" and more pointing out that this is a common strawman argument.

Private
ashtardeza,
@ashtardeza@mas.to avatar

@libreture @eivind @bookstodon

DRM is an abomination. I'm still working out the details, but once I do publish my novella I'll make sure that people can always get a DRM free version from me.

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