@aproposnix@actuallyautistic yep, had my ex-boyfriend and ex-best friend gang up on, and in the end, drop me because of this. It made me seriously question myself and my capability for empathy, until I started hanging out with more ND people, who intuitively understand my intentions and don't get offended.
@eo@actuallyautistic that I am being disrespectful/cocky or insubordinate when I ask for the explanation or reason of a task assigned to me.
The truth is that I have anxiety on top of being ND, so if I don't understand why something needs to be done, I might end up shutting down and not being able to do it at all, or I make mistakes that I could have easily avoided if I'd just gotten some more information to really understand what's being asked of me.
@tazedhippo@actuallyautistic oh, I love (/s) this flavor of idiot.
They're the same people that call women "females" and then turn around and tell you that you're different, because you're not like these other hussies 🤢
@actuallyautistic#ActuallyAutistic so many thanks to those who have made feel feel heard and welcome here in the past weeks. the story thus far: 41 years of "muddling thru" depression, anxiety, misc mysterious health problems, etc when one day a new friend (very rare!) shared with me that they are autistic, and respectfully asked me if i might be too.
this [re]kindled lots of thoughts and feels and sent me down a path of recognizing and uncovering some fairly autistic-seeming traits and behaviors that i had been ignoring or suppressing. i have lately been thinking of myself as "provisionally autistic" which is how i'm trying to walk this line between, one the one hand, not mentally framing Autism As One True The Explanation For Everything and stretching things to try to force them to fit; and, on the other hand, not giving in to Autistic Imposter Syndrome. i want "provisionally autistic" to be a comfortable in-between place where i can "let myself be as autistic as i am" without "trying to be autistic when i'm not" and just observe myself and see how it goes. if that makes any sense?
but (and this is a question mainly to all you late/recent adult [self/]dx folks out there, but of course also anyone else who wants to respond):
How do you KNOW?
i'm stuck in this place where lots of things seem relatable and plausible but there is no sense of AHA IT FITS. there's no THIS FINALLY EXPLAINS IT. i know it's early for me yet -- i've been taking this seriously for weeks not years -- and i probably have to be patient with myself . . . but ggghhhghg.
maybe i'm just venting? i don't know. i'm having a day.
@Kellyshenanigans@samiam@actuallyautistic regarding the poker face, I only recently really noticed that I don't have much mimic/facial expressions; of course I do smile and frown and stuff, but apart from that my face is pretty much blank all the time. Sadly, this gives me what I like to call "resting idiot face" 🙃 but on the bright side, my face is smooth as a peach, with not a single tiny little wrinkle in sight, so that's nice lol
@roknrol@actuallyautistic I'm currently in the acceptance stage of this process, but sometimes I don't pay attention and accidentally give a fuck about someone or something that wasn't meant to warrant giving a fuck about it anymore. And it's not like those grow on trees, they're a valuable, non-renewable resource that should be spent wisely. But at least I see some progress, and in the end that's what counts I think.
(Sorry for the dumb analogy, hope I didn't offend anyone... I falsely consider myself to be extraordinarily funny today 🙃)
I ordered some chew jewelry to reduce stress and maybe help curb my urge to chain smoke, and holy cow it's amazing! Been going to town on this thing for qn hour now, can recommend 👌🏻 @actuallyautistic
@yourautisticlife@actuallyautistic can't really say yet, it's only been a few hours... Tho I only smoked 2 cigarettes since then, so I might be onto something there :D
The Chicago-area Metro has "quiet cars" in which the riders quickly shush anyone who lapses and speaks above a whisper. People step out to the vestibule if they need to take a phone call.
@dbc3@markusl@cwebber@ginsterbusch@dpnash@sentient_water@hosford42@Tooden@actuallyautistic@neurodiversity well, technically the longhaul trains in Germany have these, too, but more often than not people don't give a fuck. Some even deliberately reserve seats in the quiet carriage and then bring their babies (even tho we have dedicated family compartments, too?!)
If someone tries to shush/relocate them, they start arguing that they paid for these seats and are entitled to them, and next thing you know there's a shouting match that devolves into a fist fight, and the police come and escort loud angry people off the train. Meanwhile you sit there kinda enjoying the show, but wishing you'd known beforehand that no one gives a fuck about being quiet, because then you wouldn't have reserved a seat and bought more snacks from these 5€ instead 🙃 been there, done that, relocated to the onboard cafeteria