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This is where I vent about chronic disabilities; mainly: #fatherhood. Kidding. Actually, the kids are my life and I wouldn't have it any other way. And I also do other stuff. Or wish I could have time to, after cleaning up.

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eo, to actuallyautistic
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@actuallyautistic #ActuallyAutistic

what are some of the most common, or most bothersome, false assumptions people make about you?

Don't limit yourself to neurodiversity or any other topic.

eo,
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@actuallyautistic that, when I don't react instantly to something, I'm not listening or don't care.

That's a tough one because why I don't react quickly is complicated. I have multiple reasons!

Specific to conversation, I have heard that many Autistics often have a little pause before responding.

I would guess we naturally, or necessarily, use more of our 'higher' cortical function? Handling social danger, compensating and calculating, just thinking about what really matters to everyone?

theautisticcoach, to actuallyautistic
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Do you use the word "Neurodivergent"?

Why or why not?

Do you think it's ableist?

If you don't use it, what word do you use?

#ActuallyAutistic #AskingAutistics @actuallyautistic

eo,
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@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic

I am uncertain if 'neurodivergent' is ableist.

I just use the word Autistic, capitalized. Capitalization makes it a name for a group of people with a collective identity, which I think is simply true.

Other neurodiversities should be used as is appropriate for each, because each have different stories.

I kind of don't like being grouped with other neurodiversities as if we are similar. My partner is ADHD and we are very different.

eo, to actuallyautistic
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Even if I am laughing, I usually find comedy stressful. You too? @actuallyautistic

PossiblyAutistic, to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic

Anybody using the app Hiki (dating and friendship app specifically for autistics?). For me it's quite annoying that it is only usable on a phone (Android device) ...

eo,
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@PossiblyAutistic @actuallyautistic is the 'friendship' part real? First time I've heard about Hiki. Not really in the dating pool. I tried Bumble BFF last year. I couldn't really make it work for me. Seems to me like friendships need a different feature set than dating, but I haven't seen it developed.

eo, to actuallyautistic
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I wonder if there is any research on children of autistic parents, both autistic and not. It would be a touchy subject to pry open, from several perspectives on ethics. But I am both an autistic father and a son of an autistic father, so… I've been wondering.
@actuallyautistic

eo,
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@StevenSaus @actuallyautistic I am extraordinarily skeptical of basically everything to do with autism. Being diagnosed last year, it has been like I have been cold and naked my whole life, and now I have a jacket that doesn't fit. Attempting to tell anyone about myself has gone from impossible to "just" a very long story that a very patient friend might listen to. Next DSM, it'll all change. I do believe they're learning.

eo, to actuallyautistic
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@actuallyautistic
Does this happen to you:
I often have trouble focusing while my hearing fades in and out at about 1 second intervals. It's like there's some muscle or something pulsing behind my ears at the back of my nasal cavity.
I used to think it was an anxiety thing, before it was diagnosed with autism (but after I was dx GAD and CPTSD). But I have never heard of a similar experience in anyone else.

eo, to actuallyautistic
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@actuallyautistic What popular media can you reference to help neurotypical people better understand you?

eo,
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@Kellyshenanigans @actuallyautistic how do you use it as a reference?

eo,
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@actuallyautistic I'm going to throw Gattaca in there. Working hard to avoid detection in a critical society. That plot doesn't need to be set in the future; it isn't speculative.

Apparently you can watch the whole thing for free on archive.org, too.
https://archive.org/details/Gattaca

eo, to actuallyautistic
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What happens when you are not allowed to do what calms you down?
@actuallyautistic

eo,
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@simid @actuallyautistic good advice, but I meant to imply you are somehow barred from what you need. Freedom is great, but assuuming that everyone has it all the time is destructive.

eo,
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@simid @actuallyautistic poverty is the most widespread loss of freedom, and reason for restricted choice.
Also, cold or other weather;
Highly structured urban or indoor environments where activities must be appropriate for the time and location;
Whether or not you think police are angels who always do the right thing because law, let's not go there beyond a mention;
Disability, whether physical limbs or all the many things loss of limbs could be used as a metaphor for;
Responsibility… etc etc

eo, to random
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@markusl @andrewporter
If the next DSM does not refine and break down autism into more granular diagnoses, I will be disappointed. I think a huge part of the objective presentation of autism, and the subjective experience of autism, are due to CPTSD, anxiety, coping mechanisms, and generally: social dynamics that result from being different in this way. Currently, CPTSD isn't even in DSM 5, and living in an unsympathetic society is not factored out.

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eo,
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@Claire @actuallyautistic humans have a deep tit-for-tat instinct; perhaps at some level you're trying to give understanding, to get understanding? 2¢

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eo,
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@marronvulpes @theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic @autisticadvocacy good for you that you don't have to unlearn masking at home.

Is it actually an option for people to be open about their autism most of their lives?

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eo,
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@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic for years in my 20s alcohol made me feel entirely unsafe. Now that I'm diagnosed, I get that I couldn't mask so well. Now I've got the technique down, and I consider it a very useful tool.

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