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Kilnier,

I have an underwood typewriter that I fixed and used for the guest book at my wedding. It sits as a decoration now as there’s not much use to it.

I do love that font though.

Kilnier,

Have you found a way to parse what kind of denim they’ll be? I’ve got 7 pairs of 511s with at least 4 weights/mixes of denim. It’s better in store but even at the Levi’s outlet they had 3 types of denim 511s in different color sets.

How do you deal with disability discrimination at work?

I’m looking for a little advice because I’m feeling pretty lost. Without going too far into it, my manager at work is using things that she knows are part of my disability, autism, to give others a negative impression of my work performance and conduct, and causing me to be disciplined. I believe she’s trying to have me...

Kilnier,

I fight em’

Maybe not the best course of action and certainly not politically astute but the laws on my side so fuck the bigoted pricks.

I confronted the owner of my company a few months ago about the toxic workplace and abusive behaviors he was inculcating in his company. Pointed out that xyz by abc employees can be and have been reasonably inferred to be comments, actions and disrespect due my autism. Informed him that his own statements and behaviors are putting his company in serious legal liability. There’s this law and regulation, I have contemporaneous notes and witnesses etc etc.

Make sure that you have a claim of workplace harassment or abuse due to your autism. Then lean into it. Be prepared to involve HR and legal resources. Make sure you constantly seek feedback and confirmation that you are taking the right steps. Be vocal that perhaps you are misinterpreting this persons behavior but due to your disability you would like the accommodation that it stop and it is causing xyz distress.

A big caveat to this is that I work in a small lumber mill. No union, no hr. I direct report to the owner because his org chart is fucked. Safety is a word they use but not one they understand. Especially for mental health safety. It worked because I made it clear that it would be very expensive if they didn’t stop fucking around.

I had to play things differently when I worked for Apple as they have incredibly detailed processes for dealing with this sort of dispute and specific forms of language and approach to use. I still took the opportunity for a fight when I could find my footing. Want to write me up for feeding homeless people? Off hours and out of branded clothing? Ok, let’s do this then.

When your disability is your opponents weapon of choice they have given you the shield of the law. Embrace their mistake.

It sounds like you’ve taken the right steps to document and follow your companies procedures and you should continue doing so. Playing the game is part of the fight.

Stand firm that ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder’ and so is abuse. Theres likely something in your handbook calling out ‘unwanted’ or ‘reasonably construed’. Find this and seek clarification. One of the aspects of autism that has been very difficult to navigate for myself is that behaviors most people find normal or caring I find awful, abrasive and can be abusive. There’s a give and take in the world but in the end they knowingly hired an autistic person and are legally obligated to adjust their behaviors to meet you in a consensual middle. Perhaps this person needs to moderate their behavior and you need to moderate your interpretations of their behavior but to do so you need clarity.

For the emotional end of things, don’t want to go in, what if they fire me, what if they hate me, I’m scared to be hurt…it’s all “what if I’m wrong again?” for me. But thats kind of just everyday right? It’s acute and direct and noticeable right now. It’s heightened in these situations. But is it new? Is it actually different or just a higher degree? Am I not nervous in my day to day or am I just more nervous now? I’m pretty sure people hate me most days so the honesty can be refreshing(sadlol).

But most importantly it doesn’t sound like you’re wrong again. Workplaces have clear rules and regulations for a reason. Find your ground. Cite your arguments. Prepare to be fired. You’ll figure it out and fight the next manager, just like the last time. You’ll keep fighting to make a space for people like us. Because that’s our existence in this world.

Neurotypicals are bound by choice paralysis in life. What do the neurodivergent do in life? We have no choice but to fight. Our course is set and conviction can be found. Freedom not of choice but of action. We fight as we see fit and as we can, from each and to each, but we fight. For a new day and a new world and a seat in Valhalla. No justice, no peace.

Thissus offeroede(that was overcome)

Thissus swæ mæg(so may this be)

Kilnier,

If you listen on Amazon’s ad free feed only 1/3rd is plugs and ads rather than half!

Great content but I can’t take the amount of plugging and begging he does. I get it. Journalism is genuinely in trouble but he’s got to find a better balance or pitch.

Kilnier,

I’m a kiln operator. I run a giant oven to dry red and white pine.

Dropped out of uni. Various retail and tech jobs for about 12 years. 4 years disability. Took an interview at a lumber mill because ‘cool tour’, took a job because ‘paycheck for a little while anyway’. Ran a planer for about 6 weeks and then offered kiln operator when their previous was poached.

On the job learning for me with the caveat that it was not a reasonable expectation to set. Typically one works under a senior operator for about two years not ‘you’re on your own but you’re good at google right?’

Certified by my work for government heat treatment programs, front loader/forklift operation and working at heights. One of those jobs where mindset is more important than education.

Would I do it again? Yes? I’d want more money for the work. There’s not a lot of people who will write an algorithm to interpret the data they gather in a 50c box. It’s a really intense combination of intellectual and manual labor and the compromise seems to be to plop the pay in the middle. Good pay for a lumber mill but shit pay for developing processes, an inventory system and an entire goddamned iOS app(that my boss didn’t even understand much less appreciate).

I wouldn’t expect the door to be open again in the future. There’s not a lot of kilns to run, they are increasingly automated and it’s a job people hold til retirement. The manager who hired me took a massive gamble on a physically disabled but intelligent person so that’s not easy to find either. Owner runs under the ‘warm body is better than no body’ premise. There’s not even any other mills close enough with kilns that I have other employment opportunities. I’ve got a very specific and reasonably lucrative skill set for a rare job.

Kilnier,

Someone like me…sort of.

Warp is more about the piling and stickering of the packs going into the kiln. Wet you can mitigate at home but once a warp is set you’re pretty much screwed.

The mill should have some sort of quality control in place to communicate these issues between the kilns and stacker crew. Find a different mill to buy from. Anything warped is pulled out before the planer at my mill and then sold as rough outs or goes to the chipper.

Ever seen 20 feet high of stacked lumber sway in the wind? Stickering can be a huge safety issue alongside quality.

Kilnier,

Harmony Parking Lot Song - Johnny Hobo and the Freight Trains

“Here’s to our lives being meaningless And how beautiful it is Because freedom doesn’t have a purpose”

Really that whole album. Taught me a lot about how to be ok with being broken.

Kilnier,

That was my first real experience with Linux!

My little brother bought one open box from Best Buy. Somehow it didn’t have keyboard or trackpad drivers? Not even external usb would work.

Ended up putting Ubuntu on it for him I believe. Fun learning experience.

Kilnier,

Thæs ofereode Thisses swa mæg

That was overcome So may this be.

From Deors lament. A Middle English poem.

Kilnier,

Gaining weight can be HARD.

One of the things I’ve personally struggled with is how much these conversations and resources are focused on how to lose weight or not gain weight. But there are some of us who have various disabilities and conditions that make getting up to a healthy weight incredibly difficult. Right now I’m trying to figure out how to increase my calorie intake without resorting to simple sugars and carbs as my job has gotten somewhat out of hand. I may go to 4 meals a day? I kind of hate eating so it probably won’t work.

I have MCAS and wasn’t diagnosed until my mid thirties. Lowest I weighed myself at was 138lbs at 6’4” tall. You could see when I needed to pee I was so skinny. Mosquitoes stopped biting me. I hit 170lbs at 12 years old, got sick and then hit it again at 32. I weighed myself at 213 last week so I’m officially more than half again what I used to weigh. I look and feel so much better it’s kind of crazy.

I’d be happy to answer any questions people in similar situations may have. I couldn’t count the number of times I’ve tried ask people about this topic and have been simply laughed at. Or put down by comments belittling it as a problem and expressing jealousy. That said, my advice may not be useful to a plurality of people.

Learn about food on a biochemical level to some degree. Find out what makes a complete protein. Figure out your circadian rhythm and good times of day for you to eat. Pay attention to the amounts of what you’re putting in your body and adjust accordingly.

Pay attention to your cravings. If you’re craving potato chips try to think about what it is in them that you are actually looking for(salt) and address that specific craving with a healthier option if required. It takes some trial and error but one can train themselves to crave components over foods. Do you want cake or do you want that mouthfeel? Or the fat? Or the sweetness?(a big revelation for me is that I rarely crave sugar, I actually want the comfort food aspect of sweetness which is much easier to address is a healthy way) Also learn when to ignore your body and when it is lying to you. A good place to start on this front is that you are thirsty for water(specifically water) right now. There’s a sort of evolutionary drive to restrict our water intake to the bare minimum because clean water is expensive typically and prepared beverages were often safer. Where one has potable water flowing from taps this efficiency bias becomes a lie and you should really just drink more water.

Cook from scratch if you have the space. It’s a lot to learn and I was very lucky to grow up in a household that provided this focus. Don’t learn to cook unhealthy things. It’s much easier to not buy a deep frier and never learn to deep fry foods than it is to avoid the temptation of delicious fried goods every day. The crucible for me on this is that I’m terrible at making eggs but amazing at pancakes and I found a lesson in my breakfast. If you learn to make tea biscuits or scones vs cookies then you’ve limited what level of trash you can feed yourself.

If you can’t cook at home or don’t have the time find good restaurants or how to shop differently. Pad Thai from a takeaway is just as fast and cheap but can be significantly better than a Big Mac or pizza. Bag of greens or head of lettuce, Fresh bread, olive oil, balsamic vinegar, cheese and a rotisserie chicken or chunk of salami(pate or Creton is great too) makes a delicious meal that will keep for a day or two without refrigeration and is reasonably healthy. Makes a 5$/meal if you’re careful with the meat and cheese. This is one of my preferred road trip foods because you get to try different bakeries and cheeses and meats along your route.

People talk a lot of about rice and beans being a healthy cheap staple and I always like to point out peanut butter and jam sandwich’s fall into a similar category. It makes a complete protein, if you’re able to add cows milk it’s a good boost of vitamin d, complex and simple sugars in the jam satisfy cravings and give longer term energy, fat in the peanut oil, etc etc. It’s also very cheap and low entry investment. Under 10$ for starting with big jars of peanut butter and a loaf of bread that gives you 2-3 days of food and another 2$ or so every 2-3 days until the jam runs out. No learning or equipment required. Houseless friendly. Wide cultural acceptance. Good for hanger.

Kilnier,

Someone’s gotta send Brody a bag of gummy worms.

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