I am currently struggling with my emotions that, for some reason, I no longer have control over, and it is so intense, I sometimes cry while walking just thinking about how my mom is struggling with her daily life, while waiting for her eye operation.
My entire life, I was #Spock. But for the past month or so, I've been Spock the human.
I never thought I will need a support group one day, since I've learned to live masking and find ways. But, right now, I definitely need a support group. And I am trying to find one locally that I can join physically. And just cry, and just share, to just be me, someone who will listen.
None of my usual calming methods and tics are working anymore. The emotions are just too intense, I have no idea how to put the lid back on it.
It talked about family, relationships, love (most especially a mother's love), being true to ourselves, and [our] humanity. But for this post, I want to talk about [our] “humanity”.
I'm a Star Trek #TheNextGeneration batch where #Spock was more of a side-character in the Star Trek universe. You know, he's half-vulcan half-human. However, there was always this lingering question: What made Spock the way he is? What made Spock pro-human? What made Spock, who lives by the vulcan expectations and yet very human at the same time?
Season 02 episode 05 of #StarTrekStrangeNewWorlds answered that. This was the pivotal moment when Spock understood his humanity. For some reason it was familiar, maybe it was mentioned on a movie, or I've read from a novel, but seeing this episode gave a lot of impact on the character “Spock”.
Spock is no longer just a half-vulcan half-human character. Spock is no longer just an icon for me. Suddenly, Spock is alive, a figure. A person who is the embodiment of two conflicting worlds yet was able to harmonise the two and lived the way no one else can.
Almost everyone looked down on him for being half-half. There were people who ridiculed him, made fun of him, shunned him. And yet, he became a better person than everyone, all because of this pivotal moment in his life.
To the point that, in the future, his experiences pushed him to champion the welcoming of the romulans back into the vulcan fold, as equals. As well as, to understand who they really are as the same race: vulcans.
S02E05 is, for me, the best episode of this season, and more likely the entire series. I will always remember this episode.
The episode where:
Spock embraced his humanity.
Humanity shone brighter than the stars.
That despite the many flaws in being a human, that maybe we are indeed inferior than the other races, it is our humanity that makes us the better race in the universe.