Respect isn't earned. You receive the amount of respect you give.
Every time you interact with someone you should give them a base level of respect. How they respond determines the amount of respect you continue to proceed with.
Achievements garner respect, even if the person is a real asshole and terrible human being the rest of the time. Many musicians fall under this category.
Then you have genuinely good people who are respected for that, but not because they’ve achieved something extraordinary. Many ordinary people who are known in their community for being kind and generous often earn this type respect.
Then you have the rare case of someone who is both an amazing person and has achieved something that can be respected. Keanu Reeves fits here.
Another forms of respect is one where someone who has earned a title, commands a form of automatic respect from people: doctors, judges, etc.
I can go on, but you get the point.
“Respect that is earned” is often the respect you get from people ABOVE YOU, and rarely the other way around, unless you fall into one of the above categories. A teacher, for example should be respected by their students, but students don’t automatically get respect from their teacher unless they have earned it (through effort, grades, etc.).
IMHO a base level of respect should always be given. This base level is earned by existing as a being with thoughts and emotions. The way a person acts, any social standing, etc. can then lead to additional respect on top of that, but the level cannot fall below the base.
I also believe that in a first interaction with a person, you should start at the base level always, regardless of any prior knowledge about social standing etc. This also helps to define the base level in a meaningful way, e.g. if this is the level of respect I award my new boss, this is also the level of respect I should award a random homeless person
What about the respect given to an individual because of its status in society? There are certain people that have a base level of respect because of their seniority, job or role during a period of time.
Those people may or may not show the same amount of respect towards others as is shown to them in general. And I dare say, there will be people willing to defend them even if they are not up to expectations, just because they have that seniority/job/role.
Take for instance:
Some politicians
Some celebrities
Some senior members of an organisation, like CEOs, CTOs, senior managers, etc.
I see too many people claiming respect and treating others as nothingness. It’s not a form of earning, get respect is almost always a villain’s claim from villains people.
We give it on good faith loan, sometimes, but just because we give it and earn it doesn’t mean we’ll get it. Bstix got it right. Expectations of ourselves and each other are a hard road to disillusionment.
It’s also not an equal trade, so no one gets it wrong. Not treating someone with respect won’t get them to respect you, but treating someone with respect won’t necessarily get them to respect you, either.
For any young autists that needed it spelled out. Keywords being “treat them with a base level of respect.”
Eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind, but if you can’t avoid a fight, ftw. Not words, talk is cheap, but in my corner of the world guns are ubiquitous too. There’s a difference between doormat/whipping person and hostile but at the end of the day, survival instinct is strong.
And some times you have to stoop to their level as some arseholes see any respect as weakness and the behaviour will continue. It should never be the first choice but it it is still an option in extreme cases.
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