@alyaza is MIA currently, but this weekly thread has been so awesome to see and keep going; so I am making what would be her typical post for this week. Alyaza; stay safe friend, I hope everything is okay.
Fighting, and losing, against a breakdown at 5AM. I am so tired. Tired of being alone. Of pretending to be happy hoping it sticks. Of feeling useless. Of being unable to leave the apartment. Just of fucking everything.
Time for another 3 hours of sleep before I wake up screaming from another nightmare.
It’s finally going to be cooler in my area this week, and it’s going to rain! I can finally study at my schools library without sweating like a pig and getting sunscreen in my eyes because of it.
Aaaaaa. I started Estradiol Valerate injections Wednesday and I’m every emotion at once. My first time giving myself a dose went better than anticipated, being terrified of needles and such. Scared for the future, if I can financially maintain the cost of the medication and if the fascist state government here leaves medicare coverage for my needs alone. I’m also debating whether or not to give up writing for some time. I’m not very productive due to depression and brain fog. Idk.
Hope everyone gets through the week safe and sound.
I forgot about this thread because of how busy the week has been. It feels like this week has been a month. I had to guide eight new students around campus while keeping up with the new changes in a tight schedule. They were a chaotic bunch, but fortunately pretty responsible. I felt sorry for some others because their mentees were troublemakers or just dramatic.
I’m never doing this again lol. It’s a nice experience to have once, but I don’t like how I get a random group of people that are possibly good or bad. Yesterday I was recuperating from the madness. Today, I think I’ll need to face some issues I put aside for this job. But man, I’m so sleepy.
My partner got infected with covid on vacation and now I have it too, so the weekend isn’t going to be as fun as I had planned :(. Other than that the week was pretty good tho!
Average week except for blood test results. The doc said I start taking care of my health now, or risk heart attack at 40 among other health complications. I need to do some more tests and see other specialities… start taking caring of stuff I haven’t for years.
I really need to move my ass. Both figuratively and literally.
Shit like this sucks when it starts to catch up with you, because it’s never at a good time. I sent a single blood pressure reading to my GP and they immediately demanded a full week’s worth as I was borderline hypotensive, so I’m also hoping that shit isn’t too fucked up and need to move my ass in more than one way. Just waiting on the energy from my ADHD medication to start to boost so I can actually start to function though which sucks…
You got this. I have committed to myself to go and get a proper checkup and bloods in a couple of months (life is HECTIC at the moment)…and I am kinda dreading the cholesterol readings. Got heart disease in the fam and I am getting to that age. See ya back here for boot camp in November?
I retired as a roller derby skater in late June, and since then, have just really been enjoying my free time and not committing to anything. It’s wonderful. It’s also a tad weird.
Of course, with the heat index getting up to 115 here, I haven’t been able to do much, so I’m just enjoying my wonderful apartment.
It’s been a good week! My work schedule was adjusted to be a bit less crazy for me, and something I can handle a bit more - which I am certainly grateful for (we’re a small team, so schedule changes impacts everyone otherwise I would’ve requested it a while ago). Additionally, my new medication for my mental health seems to be having some positive impact - its also causing a few side effects but I’ll bring those up at my next appointment, and I’m sure we can make adjustments to curtail those a bit.
Finally, I saw my hematologist the other day, and my iron levels are finally in the green thankfully! At the beginning of the year, after having a check up with my doctor they ran their standard labs - I got a call the next day from him saying that I needed to immediately go to the ER for an emergency transfusion (my iron levels were so low, that standing up for even 10 minutes would cause me to be on the verge of fainting), so I’m definitely happy to hit that milestone, now it’ll just be a matter of maintaining it.
So all around improvements around my work life, my mental health, and my physical health - its been a long time since I had such major wins under my belt so its a strange feeling. In a way, I’m still waiting for “the other shoe to drop” because that is how its been in the past. I’m hopeful though, and even that is something I’ll gladly take! There are still plenty of things to work on, but that will always be the case, so I’m patting myself on the back this weekend and will be trying to relax a bit.
It’s been a slog with the weather being 105+F outside and 90-95F inside where I have to work. But it’s over now. Got a weekend to rest and hide inside playing video games. I feel sorry for my neglected garden but it’s been so hot I just can’t give it the attention it needs.
I agree with your assessment of C/C++. I like using C because lt makes you have to really understand what you want to do. Then explaining it well enough for the computer to do it. It’s not easy but it’s good. Lately I’ve been enjoying Golang. It is becoming my favorite language to just get stuff done in.
i had my first dog/house sitting gig last weekend. also went to the annual soap box car race which is always a blast. had a slow start to this week, but then did a small/quick group bike ride with the meetup i run. just now heading out to meet with another dog/house sitting client for a future stay, then probably hanging out somewhere downtown.
oh! and the foster dog has his specialist consult on monday, which i’m really happy about. i love fostering, but i honestly didn’t expect him to stay this long, haha.
Ended a brief romantic relationship. Had a lot of fun, but it wasn’t tenable for many reasons, and had already stayed in it too long. Went smoothly but my ex is now acting as if nothing has changed. Retaining a friendship would be nice, though I cannot be close with this person, but will have to be actively distant if it turns out that they’re hoping we’re actually still a thing.
Otherwise bruised all over & aching joints from trying to change the battery of a smoke detector on a very high ceiling in a very tiny bedroom. No, I didn’t fall from a height (or at all) just shoving furniture & ladders around. In the end had to hire someone to come and do it for me, as just don’t have sufficient core & hand strength to balance & stretch high with both hands. Inability to do something so basic has me feeling very vulnerable about the future… taking up pilates or whatever would help build strength, and this feeling ought to be motivating, but paralysed with despondence instead.
Eh, not bad I guess. I’m laid off for a few days (can’t pave in the rain) so I’ll have to collect a week of unemployment, but on the other hand it gives me time to get some things done around the apartment and see some friends that live nearby.
Other than that, trying to play Armored Core VI without getting frustrated with the difficulty, and eagerly awaiting Starfield’s early release on Labor Day weekend.
Could be worthwhile giving @alyaza a call if you know her in real life… It is a bit of a worry honestly based on her last post she hasn’t dropped by in 10 days (especially considering her last weekly update).
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