MrPoopyButthole,

“How are you ever gonna keep a job if you can’t keep juice in a cup?!”

I was 9 years old

Piecemakers3Dprints,
@Piecemakers3Dprints@lemmy.world avatar

Brutal 🤣🤌🏼

fitgse,

When my grandmother met my now wife, who is from Alabama, my grandmother told her “well, we all have to be from somewhere”

krazylink,

As someone who’s family is from Alabama, I hard agree with your grandma. Where was she from? And can I steal her line?

fitgse,

My grandma was from the Midwest, mostly South Dakota. My grandma was very sweet and so it really cracked us up when she said that.

typo,

That to me sounds like a very northern state phrase. I can absolutely hear my grandma saying that (not saying you/they are, just made me smile thinking of that)

johndroid,
@johndroid@lemmy.world avatar

“Putang ina.” (“Son of a whore”)

They said this arming Filipino phrase whenever I did something stupid. So…a lot.

SinningStromgald,

“A boat is a hole in the water you throw money in.” - Grandpa

“It’s like that for a while…then it gets worse.” - Grandpa

“Even the worst pizza is still pretty damn good.” - Grandpa

No idea if, or who, he may have stolen those sayings from but I’ll always remember him for them.

AdamEatsAss,

“who is she? The cats mother?”

If you ever refer to my grandmother as “she” or “her” she will cut you off to say that.

blackbrook,

My grandmother used to say that too!

BromSwolligans,

“Save every five minutes and never buy Packard Bell.”

jaamesbaxterr,

My grandpa had a million one liners, most were somewhat inappropriate but here’s a fun one. He’d say, “Did anyone get hurt in that wreck?” To any of my friends that drove over. When they inevitably asked “what wreck?” He’d say, “the one you pulled up in.” This was devastating to the ones who were super proud of their cars. Lol

rockSlayer,

Whenever we got a minor injury like on our knee, he would tell us “I can hurt the other one so you can’t tell which hurts more”

When we would go fishing, he always ended up sitting on a “barking spider”

The one I borrowed from him to great effect is “beer has water in it” whenever he was told to drink water

get_off_the_phone,

My grandfather gave me three options when I was young and slightly hurt. “I can hurt the other one, amputate the one that hurts, or you can go to bed.”

DrZoidberg,
@DrZoidberg@sh.itjust.works avatar

“Pull my finger.”

I_Am_Jacks_____,
@I_Am_Jacks_____@lemmings.world avatar

My grandfather was always “fair to middlin’”

Wodge,
@Wodge@lemmy.world avatar

Anything bad happens:

My grandad: “FLAMING JACKSAWS AND BUCKETS OF BLOOD!”

He was never in a metal band that I’m aware of.

demonquark,

My grandmother used to say: if you expect your good deed to be reciprocated, you’re not actually doing a good deed.

She said it in dutch, so I hope it’s an decent translation.

Hexarei,
@Hexarei@programming.dev avatar

I’ve heard this one put similarly: “If you’re looking for something in return, even your good deeds are an extension of your selfishness.”

JuryNullification,

“I’ve raised enough kids, I’m not raising grandkids too”

And that’s the story of how I never had a relationship with my grandparents

DeltaTangoLima,
@DeltaTangoLima@reddrefuge.com avatar

My Pop, whenever he was asked where something was: “It’s in Annie’s room, behind the clock.” There was no Annie in our family, nor a bedroom with a clock you could put things behind.

Also my Pop whenever asked what something was: “It’s a wig-wam for a goose’s bridle.”

These may not be iconic to anyone else, but they are sure as hell iconic in family lore, and us grand-kids are making sure we pass it down as much as we can.

n8vos,

“Because God loves Ireland!” after any question they might no tknow the answer for

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