„No! You‘re wrong! What a shit take! You have no idea what you‘re talking about! Stop the drugs, man!“ and the like.
After some discussion, people say:
„I have not thought of it this way. I got you wrong. We should actually consider doing it your way. You seem to have deeper insight than the average person.“
This often makes me question my place in this world. Anyone else? #actuallyautistic
Blamed for getting it right, and gas lit about it for as long as everyone is still wanting to believe the old facts
And then once everyone has been able to put it into words that they either can or must accept, erasure of you because it was just too stressful to have to deal with that person
Change is not fun for most everybody
And you end up having to shut your head down and not see it, because others don't want to.
@haui@actuallyautistic You often does the second part actually happen? With that, I wouldn't question my place in the world. Without it, it's outright gaslighting.
@haui@actuallyautistic I once proposed a solution to a hardware device I wasnt working on to dealing with losing battery power and figuring out what time is real before the device gets its time synced from the server. The manager said that sounds complicated. The sw eng told me later that’s what they went with. There was never any other acknowledgement from anyone else in the meeting.
The most frustrating part is when colleagues contact me to apologize two years after harassing me out of a job. I knew I was right, I knew they were behaving defensively not rationally, and I knew they were assholes already. The apology is entirely about them feeling better for apologizing: Nobody offers to restore my job.
@haui@actuallyautistic ... and then people end up either still doing what they admitted is wrong, or go back to their old habits/behavior in less than a week.
@haui@actuallyautistic All the time. People that spend any amount of time with me eventually learn to take me seriously.
Sometimes I have luck with strangers but for that I have to have REAL clarity of thought to be able to walk them to my conclusion. They still don't usually believe me, but that's on them.
"I told you so" is going to be on my headstone, I think.
@KatLS@haui@actuallyautistic I still maintain and do what's right for me, regardless of what the people around me are thinking or doing. Sometimes this makes me unpopular. Sometimes I miss out on stuff that would have been fun (it sucks when I'm wrong).
But either by statistics or confirmation bias, I seem to be correct more often than incorrect and that has given me the confidence that I need in order to maintain. Usually 😉
@roknrol@haui@actuallyautistic the thing to be careful about is relationship. Often we can be right (or more accurately acknowledged as correct) or we can be in relationship with our fellow humans. We often cannot be both at the same time. Some relationships are worth more than rightness. Some aren’t.
I suspect that's why my opinion of fellow humans is so low, and why it feels absolutely like the right thing to do to isolate and only allow myself small doses of human interaction.
Here's an example: Right now my wife has basically invited the entirety of her family to live with us. Her adult son and his girlfriend, their infant daughter, my wife's niece, and her neice's mom.
Each one of these people has had COVID (her son gave it to me and my wife both over a year ago) and know how much it sucks.
I have a major comorbidity (heart disease and I literally last week just had a bypass, so, you know, major vascular surgery).
The neice, the neice's mom, and "someone else" in the house have a persistent cough.
We have boxes and boxes of N95 masks.
Not one person in the household wears one. Not one. I've asked. I've repeated that I'm already sick and that getting sick could fucking KILL me. Not one mask.
So, I live in my office and the shop. Doors closed, nobody else allowed inside. If I have to walk through the house where other people are I hold my breath or mask up, but I just endeavor to not ever be in the same room as any of them.
Do I want a relationship with my family? Sure. But I'd rather be alive. And if their consideration of me is so low that a legitimate fucking request like that is ignored (by so called progressives) then they can do without my company, participation, or relationship.
I'm not going to sacrifice "reality" so that someone else can feel better about things...I just haven't got it in me. Rather be alone than live in a lie, you know?
@alexisbushnell@KatLS@haui@actuallyautistic Don't be. Every day is a reminder of why, as soon as I'm done healing and the house in France is purchased, I'm moving and divorcing her. She has destroyed my life and it took me 25 years to recognize it.
At this point every day is just another checkmark going, "Yup...and there's another one."
The funny thing is that I have about 10 different ongoing stories that I could have just as easily dropped into that toot and made the exact same point.
Thank you for the sympathy/empathy...I am too strong to let her break me.
@alexisbushnell@KatLS@haui@actuallyautistic I just had my surgery a week ago...I won't be fit to travel for at least another 4-6 weeks, maybe longer, so that's the earliest.
We're also still waiting to pay for the house - we've done literally everything else, but now apparently there's a "hold" while they "offer the house to the community" in case someone else wants to buy it or something? I have no idea...I thought we were done with the process lol.
Anyway, all we have to do is pay, and the money is literally sitting in our account waiting for a direction to send it in.
About 80% of my shit is packed and ready to go and I suspect the last 20% will go quick when I'm ready to pull the trigger. I have to make arrangements to ship it.
Also, I'm waiting for disability, but it seems like that's progressing through the system and hoping that "any day now" they'll wrap up.
That sounds like a lot more than it actually is. 😉
What had been a cough about every half hour to an hour three days ago has now turned into a "throat clearing cough" about every 5-15 seconds.
Hmm...my prediction is that my wife will be coughing within a week, and that my niece is going to spend her Christmas with COVID.
Prediction for myself? At the risk of hubris, I think I managed to avoid it this time. I'm not getting so much as a tickle at any point in my throat. I'm coughing about 1 time per day, usually right after I wake up, mainly to bring crap up out of my lungs because I'm still trying to shed the last few cigarettes that I smoked. You can bet your ass I'm gonna continue to isolate like a motherfucker, and if my WIFE thinks she's going to share my air while she's sick she's got another thing coming.
@haui@actuallyautistic For sure, I've often raised issues I see that noone else does and gotten shit for it in the moment. Then they come back with new realizations, not always giving me any credit for spotting it early, and then it repeats with the next thing.
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