@haui@mastodon.giftedmc.com
@haui@mastodon.giftedmc.com avatar

haui

@[email protected]

I'm Haui (he/him) #gifted #autistic #minecrafter, #tech enthusiast. I'm not good with social stuff but I'm friendly. I host four #fediverse services on my new #vps: Lemmy, Mastodon, Matrix and Peertube. You can check them out on the respective addresses. Besides that I own 4 lizards, 2 guineapigs and engage in anti-fascist, anti-corporate and neurodiversity activism. Ask me for random tech facts and dusty dry humour. Have a good one. #selfhosted #linux #autism #giftedness #minecraft

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theautisticcoach, to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

How did my comrades self-regulate before they knew that they were or before they learned healthy ways to do so?

@actuallyautistic

haui,
@haui@mastodon.giftedmc.com avatar

@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic
Mostly small amounts of alcohol and hookah (flavored tobacco). Meditation/Yoga, Endurance Sports, etc.

kkffoo, to actuallyautistic
@kkffoo@mastodon.social avatar

For some reason I thought my @actuallyautistic co-groupies might enjoy this;
https://www.facebook.com/groups/dullmensclub/permalink/1415641495759054/

haui,
@haui@mastodon.giftedmc.com avatar

@kkffoo @actuallyautistic yeah, a reason I‘m here is to get away from facebook. There are tons of better posts on lemmy.

haui,
@haui@mastodon.giftedmc.com avatar

@kkffoo @actuallyautistic Can relate. I try to keep mostly to the fediverse and have abandoned most others.

I use

Since then: no ads, rarely hatespeech in my feed and can decide what I want to see instead of corporate rule.

I also dont need paid subscriptions for it, unified all my chat apps to one and so on.

theautisticcoach, to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

Do my comrades feel that they have and receive enough support in life?

What could you use?

What resources can you share with others?

@actuallyautistic

haui,
@haui@mastodon.giftedmc.com avatar

@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic

Enough is quite a strong word imo. Still working on it.

Online and offline support groups are very helpful. Also, connecting here on mastodon and shouting into the void, getting the occasional feedback, good or bad helps me find nuances in my thoughts.

I use lemmy quite a bit since I enjoy the long form content/blog/forum style there. Quite a couple autistic groups and individuals there.

haui, to actuallyautistic
@haui@mastodon.giftedmc.com avatar

Being @actuallyautistic and for me means I often get told the following, initially:

„No! You‘re wrong! What a shit take! You have no idea what you‘re talking about! Stop the drugs, man!“ and the like.

After some discussion, people say:

„I have not thought of it this way. I got you wrong. We should actually consider doing it your way. You seem to have deeper insight than the average person.“

This often makes me question my place in this world. Anyone else?

haui, to actuallyautistic
@haui@mastodon.giftedmc.com avatar

@actuallyautistic

I feel like I'm really getting into autistic spaces in the past couple of months. It feels very different from the past couple of years, not to say the rest of my life.

Being able to express my feelings without constantly being told they're invalid is a completely new concept for me. Relating to people and them relating to me.

Not sure what to make of it rn but I kinda like it. I don't fully trust it yet but I try to.

Anyone else?

haui,
@haui@mastodon.giftedmc.com avatar

@bytebro @CynAq @actuallyautistic the algorithms absolutely have negative, abrasive and divisive influence because that drives engagement for the price of insanity. Its disgusting if you think about it.

Despite that, I‘m pretty sure its „autistic only“ places that make the real difference. Because IRL its the same for me and many people I talked to.

This suggests to me that we need homogenous environment from time to time (shocker I know).

haui, to actuallyautistic
@haui@mastodon.giftedmc.com avatar

Do any other @actuallyautistic folks have because clogged nose?

I always wake up because I cant breathe through my nose and cant go back to sleep bc even nosespray takes so long until I am too awake to sleep.

VeeRat, to actuallyautistic
@VeeRat@zeroes.ca avatar

@actuallyautistic

I told my mother that I am Autistic. I am in my 50s, she is in her 70s. I had not wanted to talk about it with her for a very long time now, because she tends to believe that anything like that is caused by her being a "bad mother"; she bought into that hype from a long time ago, and never let it go.

I got the expected response. She said that she doesn't think I'm Autistic, because she bases her knowledge of Autism on the people who make the news due to NT people thinking they are gifted or strange, and on movie characters like Rain Man. She said it's ok that I investigate Autism "if it makes you feel better". Not that I was asking her permission.

Then when I was listing behaviors of mine that I attribute to Autism, she said, "I do those things too." I said, "yeah, it is hereditary...". But she would never investigate it about herself. She could never accept the label for herself, or for me.

I don't know why I try. I guess I do find some peace with myself having told her, because I felt bad talking about it so much with other family members, without her knowing. I still don't feel the need to talk with her about my cPTSD from childhood; I know I won't get a good response to that.

haui,
@haui@mastodon.giftedmc.com avatar

@VeeRat @actuallyautistic wow, weird sense of deja vu. My mother would react pretty similar. I‘m more than ten years younger but the cptsd I got is pretty similar as well.

I broke off contact according to my therapists suggestion. I can‘t say I‘m terribly happy about it but it makes sense for me.

I feel like there is no right or wrong in this situation. You do what you think is best. Trying seems to be a good idea.

Feel free to reach out.

poloniousmonk, to actuallyautistic
@poloniousmonk@mastodon.social avatar

@actuallyautistic

This guy gets it.

https://pluralistic.net/2023/12/08/playstationed/#tyler-james-hill

haui,
@haui@mastodon.giftedmc.com avatar

@poloniousmonk @actuallyautistic please god no! Reading this hurts so much because its true. I‘m glad someone puts it this way but I‘m incredibly anxious nobody out there will get it or they‘ll go „nothing we can do“.

theautisticcoach, to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

How do my comrades manage a clenched jaw?

@actuallyautistic

haui,
@haui@mastodon.giftedmc.com avatar

@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic I always conciously open my jaw when I‘m tense. If it happens often, I try to get out of the situation.

ScottSoCal, to actuallyautistic
@ScottSoCal@computerfairi.es avatar

@actuallyautistic

Wondering if this is an autism thing, or a me thing:

When they cast an actor in a movie, in a speaking part, but then have someone else sing and the actor just lipsyncs it. It's jarring, it throws me out of the movie and all I can think is "that's not his/her voice, how am I supposed to go along with this?"
We're watching a musical. And an actor is lipsyncing to someone else singing.

haui,
@haui@mastodon.giftedmc.com avatar

@LunaDragofelis @actuallyautistic @ScottSoCal fellow german here. I stopped watching german media like 2 yrs ago, in part to improve my english.

Now I watch everything, including „kino“ in english. Not losing out, A LOT harder to manipulate and now I cringe when I hear the „good“ german dubbing because its impossible to do perfect.

Yesterday I spoke to friends and family who only consume german media. They are getting brainwashed to high heaven

haui,
@haui@mastodon.giftedmc.com avatar

@Dr_Obvious @LunaDragofelis @actuallyautistic @ScottSoCal not these especially but I agree that there is horrendous german dubbing.

haui, to actuallyautistic
@haui@mastodon.giftedmc.com avatar

@actuallyautistic

Very interesting video. Trigger warning S-Rates: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFmj8bBnA-Q

haui, to actuallyautistic
@haui@mastodon.giftedmc.com avatar

Good morning @actuallyautistic

I started watching #theaword yesterday on #DisneyPlus and it seems nice. It’s a series about an #autistic boy and his family.

I haven’t checked if the actor is #actuallyautistic and obviously warning for #pathologizing so beware.

Please #nospoilers but feel free to lmk if you watched it and if you liked it or not and why.

That said I‘m incredibly happy that content about us gets out there because peeps still think we cant talk of something.

haui,
@haui@mastodon.giftedmc.com avatar

@poloniousmonk @actuallyautistic good for you! :) I feel more like I have to explain why I „really think“ that I‘m autistic since I got my diagnosis, all the time.

For me its obvious, every day. For others, I‘m not disabled enough, too outgoing, too talkative and so on.

haui,
@haui@mastodon.giftedmc.com avatar

@sahat @poloniousmonk @actuallyautistic I‘m married to someone with auDHD and we‘re aware of the overlap. Thank you for mentioning this! :) i‘m not even that hyperverbal. It’s more like i was forced to be „active“ so I‘d not get overlooked all the time.

haui,
@haui@mastodon.giftedmc.com avatar

@poloniousmonk @actuallyautistic that‘s quite the dumpster fire to deal with! I‘m sorry.

haui,
@haui@mastodon.giftedmc.com avatar

@sal @actuallyautistic correct. :) clarification: I was talking about stereotypes

haui,
@haui@mastodon.giftedmc.com avatar

@sahat @poloniousmonk @actuallyautistic i can relate. I always thought it was the same for me and honestly, I cant say if it is or the other extreme is. Most likely, both were coping strategies/masks in my case.

haui, to actuallyautistic
@haui@mastodon.giftedmc.com avatar

Am I imagining this or does the world just need a bit of justice?

I often feel like humanity makes everything complicated with social games, „nuance“ and trying to defend the perpetrators.

Housing crisis while CEO pay goes up 2000 percent? What would an autistic finance minister do? Would they give a shit about backlash from that group?

I‘m curious. @actuallyautistic

haui, to actuallyautistic
@haui@mastodon.giftedmc.com avatar

Went to today since my allergies are getting worse every year. Do fellow people here have the same problem? @actuallyautistic

haui,
@haui@mastodon.giftedmc.com avatar

@Cetraria @actuallyautistic wow! Thats tough! I can see how my allergies affect other things in my body/life as well. Thats why I‘m trying that again. It helped me a lot 20 yrs ago. Maybe it will again.

theautisticcoach, to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

When #ActuallyAutistic humans are assertive we are called aggressive.

When NTs are aggressive they’re called assertive.

@actuallyautistic

haui,
@haui@mastodon.giftedmc.com avatar

@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic

But why is that, really? I have always thought for me it is because I lack the surrounding signals that allistic people send so that they understand „I‘m not a threat but I mean what I say.“ then I learned I‘m autistic and many of us experience this with allistic people.

I proceeded to assume everyone who behaves like me is „assertive“ which then made me ripe for abusive people.

I think we need more light on this function.

KitMuse, to actuallyautistic
@KitMuse@eponaauthor.social avatar

I'm going to throw this out there and it may sound a bit controversial, but keep in mind I have nearly 20 years's experience as an entrepreneur. Is there ANYONE who works with business owners or business owners who don't just regurgitate the same allistic/neurotypical "marketing advice" that's sold all over the groups and "free offers"? Because I'm not seeing anyone doing anything different from the NTs. @actuallyautistic @actuallyautistics

haui,
@haui@mastodon.giftedmc.com avatar

@KitMuse @actuallyautistic @actuallyautistics controversial indeed but not wrong imo.

When I became an entrepreneur I didn’t know I was autistic. Now that I do, I do things differently.

But from a business perspective there is a big problem with ableist and discriminatory behavior out there.

Yesterday I was told I‘m nuts because I made millions by paying my people fairly and diversifying my customers instead of sucking up to big corpos.

alexisbushnell, to actuallyautistic
@alexisbushnell@toot.wales avatar

It's so frustrating that I can just about function "normally" for a year max and then everything goes to shit, regardless of what I do, what's been happening, etc.

Is this a common Autistic issue?

@actuallyautistic

haui,
@haui@mastodon.giftedmc.com avatar

@alexisbushnell @actuallyautistic

I don’t know if it’s common but I‘ve had this exact situation for most of my life. Only times when I went ok for more than a year (seven actually) was when I was my own boss. Without being constantly abused by superiors and colleagues I was able to function on my own.

theautisticcoach, to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

Do you use the word "Neurodivergent"?

Why or why not?

Do you think it's ableist?

If you don't use it, what word do you use?

#ActuallyAutistic #AskingAutistics @actuallyautistic

haui,
@haui@mastodon.giftedmc.com avatar

@kechpaja @theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic I have no idea about the newest hype in political correctness but to me it’s fine. I just don’t like to be called „neurodiverse“. Just because I feel like the thats not the correct term. ‚:)

haui,
@haui@mastodon.giftedmc.com avatar

@JohnBloor @theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic I go by gifted autistic because in search of myself I first had my IQ checked and found this.

I get a lot of heat from „IQ-Tests-bad“ people but never anything resembling informative discourse.

If I get „you don’t look autistic“ then I tell them that my masking is next level due to giftedness and thats it.

Mostly derails the topic since they are afraid my number might be higher than theirs. Sigh

EVDHmn, to actuallyautistic
@EVDHmn@ecoevo.social avatar

@actuallyautistic
If anyone doesn’t mind much I have a random question!
Not so much a poll, but does anyone else sometimes have the problem of seeing things from too many angles, i was wondering if it worsens by expanding perceptions. I don’t mean in a hallucinations way, it’s just like they kinda contour in almost like a dataset, of theoretical, probability etc.or what could that be like, what could cause that, I know for myself it’s difficult. But rewarding in many ways. Please and thank you

haui,
@haui@mastodon.giftedmc.com avatar

@EVDHmn @actuallyautistic
I‘m a little late to the party. This is me, all the time. Started when I was four and my mother was unable to care for us after my dad walked out on us one night.

Gifted autistic kid being forced to explain to my mother why we‘re gonna be okay. Only listened to when convenient and forced to see it „from the other side“.

I make a brillant counselor, just not for myself. People often call me nostradamus for my foresight.

It’s tough.

haui, to actuallyautistic
@haui@mastodon.giftedmc.com avatar

@actuallyautistic @neurodivergent

I uploaded a new video to my . I‘m and touring the minecraft server that I made specifically for people in 2020.

Please check it out and leave me a comment if you like. https://peertube.giftedmc.com/w/nxjY5cBb2uBke7xowzbRqD

If you want to know more, read the video description. :)

haui, to actuallyautistic
@haui@mastodon.giftedmc.com avatar

@actuallyautistic Reasons why I of as a icon:

  • he rarely „smiles“, he rather smirks
  • very subtle humour, rarely ironic
  • he‘s very deep into minecraft tech ( ?)
  • he built a game in game, controlled by a computer in a game
  • he‘s hugely organized with occasional chaotic spots ( ?)
  • he always streams at the same time
  • always wears the same shirts, same coffee mug
  • he‘s actually an &
autism101, to actuallyautistic

Autistic masking behaviors vary from person to person. What are some of your masking characteristics?

image: @alittlepuddins.ie

#AskingAutistics #ActuallyAutistic @actuallyautistic

haui,
@haui@mastodon.giftedmc.com avatar

@heflin @autism101 @actuallyautistic welcome to the club. Got diagnosed at mid 30s. It just wasnt a thing in a lot of places back in the day. Check out a couple official tests if you like. They‘ll tell you if you‘re on the right track and from there you could visit a psychiatrist or whatever the professional title in your area is.

haui, to actuallyautistic
@haui@mastodon.giftedmc.com avatar

@actuallyautistic @neurodivergent

It always baffles me how having a regular appointment at the same day at the same time is satisfying to me and not others.

Same how changing times on weekly appointments are hard for me to get right.

What „normal“ things are satisfying to you?

haui,
@haui@mastodon.giftedmc.com avatar

@mux2000 @actuallyautistic @neurodivergent sorry, I didn’t see your answer right away. Yes, those give me a warm fuzzy feeling as well. :)

karawynn, to random
@karawynn@wandering.shop avatar

Really excellent dual-author piece in the Nation on why separating 'types' of autism into different diagnoses is harmful to all autistic people.

https://www.thenation.com/article/society/autism-division/

haui,
@haui@mastodon.giftedmc.com avatar

@FrightenedRat @marytzu @natalie_romana @ratcatcher @karawynn @actuallyautistic

Gifted autistic here. I have a very spikey profile. Spatial thinking and word association are off the charts (literally broke the test) and two others are medium. Worst is memory at „normal“ + debilitating trauma puts me at 90% disabled.

haui, to actuallyautistic
@haui@mastodon.giftedmc.com avatar

I‘m having a rough time this morning. Having to discuss psychological/emotional abuse with someone who allegedly suffers from npd. I dont know how to handle that and the situation is overwhelming af. Any ideas? I‘m not trying to be mean to the person but I feel very unprepared.

@actuallyautistic

haui, to actuallyautistic
@haui@mastodon.giftedmc.com avatar

@actuallyautistic @neurodivergent searching for ND friends to share stuff with in 1to1 or n-to-n conversations.

My interests are

What I like: infodumping and getting infodumped. Being honest but friendly.

What I dont like: emotional violence, being unable to say I‘m sorry. Rhetoric

If you are trying to connect on a personal level, hit me up on matrix @haui:matrix.giftedmc.com

Have a good one! :)

spika, to actuallyautistic
@spika@neurodifferent.me avatar

So, one of my dude's autistic quirks is he can't stand unread notifications on any website not being zero and has a compulsion to clear notifications, and I watched him get into a notification clearing loop for almost half an hour with an AI chat bot on a local temp work agency website.

Every time you navigated to a new page on the website the AI chat bot asked if you needed help making an unread message, so he'd open the bot chat to clear the notification, then navigate to the next page, where the bot would ask it's question again, and he'd open and close the chat to make it go away, getting more and more frustrated as he went from page to page. I don't think he ever found the information he was looking for on the website because he spent so much energy distracted by the existence of the chat bot in the corner trying to get his attention.

In retrospect, I probably should have intervened after I noticed him repeat the pattern twice, but I'll admit that my autistic curiosity got the better of me and I wanted to see how long he was gonna get stuck in the pattern loop before he gave up.

@actuallyautistic #ActuallyAutistic

haui,
@haui@mastodon.giftedmc.com avatar

@spika @actuallyautistic that could have been me in a way. I HATE unread notifications and it too get stuck in „cleaning up loops“ when I actually want to do one thing but the mess in my pc or the real world triggers me so much that I need to clean up immediately.

haui, to actuallyautistic
@haui@mastodon.giftedmc.com avatar

@actuallyautistic who else sleeps with .?

I‘m very to sound. Especially snoring and EMT vehicles. I also hear sounds on a higher frequency than others.

On the other hand, people talking to me outside of my area of focus atm sound like gibberish to me. I often need to ask them to repeat which makes them mad.

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