Not sure what to make of it but I really hope the point with “you’re not an cis ally if not 90% of your friends are trans” is a joke. Otherwise it is such a bullshit take that shits on everyone who supports trans rights but does not have trans friends?
I consider everyone an ally by default. It’s just another aspect of the social contract we’re all a part of. Love and accept others. You’re only out once you break the contract, and you can always get back in by learning to love and trying to make it right with those who were wronged.
Look, I’ll accept others, but that’s as much as I’ve got. What I can offer is indifference and disinterest unless they are being unjustly attacked.
I’m not interested in the details of your sexual orientation, but if someone starts shitting on you for it I’m there to back you up. You go by “they?” Cool, easier for me, everyone is technically they. You go by “she?” Sure, that’s what it looked like. Somebody goes out of their way to use a gender pronoun that, confusingly, doesn’t match what you look like? I’ll point out that they’re being dickish and silly. It’s not because I love trans people or pansexuals or queer people (not picking them out, I don’t “love” cis-het people either), it’s because I think people shouldn’t be shit on for who they are if they aren’t harming others.
So basically, I don’t want to have sexual orientation, genderidentity, or anything like that to be a constant topic of conversation, just like I don’t have to constantly hear about people being cis or straight, and in that I share the words, at least, of many of the right-wing people I know. But the reason we still have to is because assholes want to attack them wherever they can. I long for the day when I can stop giving a shit because they are so accepted it’s not an issue.
Not… Always… The “you can always come back” thing is not something that you can always count on. Being wholly rejected for trying to be your authentic self can leave some wicked deep scars. It’s always on the wronged person to forgive when there’s a lot of pressure to accept someone back into the fold. It can destroy you when everyone around you just wants to forget what happened in favor of social peace when you have to carry that damage with you. Coming out as trans historically is a lot of people’s last ditch effort to live in that they feel they the status quo is killing them. Sometimes they also look at being openly trans as the last resort failure state but are desperate to find any reason to go on even if the tradeoffs are horrible.
The kicks you receieve when you are at your lowest point you never really forget. Sometimes “trying to make it right with the wronged” means accepting you hurt someone bad enough that you don’t get second chances to try again and having to respect that.
She discovered she was trans. Note that the friend was referred to as “he” in the first post, then the second post was “…what happened to her.” Additionally, 90% of her friends were apparently trans already because she gravitated to them because either consciously or subconsciously she recognized their common experience.
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