@wruffian@bark.lgbt
@wruffian@bark.lgbt avatar

wruffian

@[email protected]

not really sure who/how i am, kinda figuring that out. affectionate nd autis adhd schiz-spec queer transfem nb. unexplored plurality. trauma. might be in a cult. gender is genre in the art of personhood

#affectionate #neurodiverse #neurodivergent #dyslexia #aphantasia #autistic #ActuallyAutistic #adhd #schizotypy #plurality #plural #multiple #queer #trans #transgender #transfeminine #transfem #nonbinary

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wruffian, to actuallyautistic
@wruffian@bark.lgbt avatar

@actuallyautistic is there any peer-run / grassroots autism organizations that are there to provide specific help to specific autistic persons?

help, such that includes helping me come up with and follow a plan for how to interact with the world in a way that is safe&effective for me; and such that includes reaching out with me to specific people in my life, perhaps with an official-sounding group name, to tell them how to interact with me non-horribly.

1/2

wruffian,
@wruffian@bark.lgbt avatar

@actuallyautistic i have heard that: some people become less abusive when they are interacting with multiple people, some people listen to another person advocating for a person despite not listening to the person advocating for themself, some people listen to official-seeming groups but not to individuals or associations who lack officialness aesthetics.

1/2

poloniousmonk, to actuallyautistic
@poloniousmonk@mastodon.social avatar

@actuallyautistic @autisticadvocacy @autistic[email protected]

What is this "mask", what do y'all mean by "masking"?

Like, what's the difference between a mask and a public persona?

Both my parents are pretty autistic and in total denial about it. Lacking siblings, cousins, a culture, or human contact, I really have no frame of reference for this stuff.

Thanks.

wruffian,
@wruffian@bark.lgbt avatar

@poloniousmonk @sentient_water @punishmenthurts @actuallyautistic @autisticadvocacy @autistic[email protected] what the actual fuck! holy hell. i can't even formulate a coherent direct response beyond my direct astonishment and some indirect or meta thoughts. not surprising. the is no lowest bar to how low the bigots will stoop.

arcana, to actuallyautistic
@arcana@fedi-01.starlight.quest avatar

@actuallyautistic i'm trying to do some research into the basic neurology of neurodiversity and... idk, a combination of not really knowing how to research, not finding more than very biased and very flawed studies (because of course) and just not really knowing what i'm looking for...

i'm just curious whether anyone has any leads or cool resources? most of my knowledge about autism is about behavior and experiences, and as far as i know you can't currently look at someone's brain and be like "ah, yes, there you can see the autism."

i've had this hypothesis i guess that autism and allism aren't as cut and dry as they are sometimes discussed, but the information backing that hypothesis is all experiential, anecdotal, and philosophical. so i'm curious to see some actual data, and i can't find it.

wruffian,
@wruffian@bark.lgbt avatar

@arcana @actuallyautistic look at the details. for each detail presented, each simple small characteristic, essential trait, element of the human spirit,, consider it's instances in our world. take it and look at each person you know, and see whether they have such a characteristic or not. start with the simplest ones

once you do this with enough characteristics, you will get a fairly clear image of what people are like. of course, the learning never ends

theautisticcoach, to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

Autistic Burnout is an ADDITIONAL disability on top of being

@actuallyautistic

wruffian,
@wruffian@bark.lgbt avatar

@avuko @theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic they would be called F1 race cars trapped in mud

wruffian,
@wruffian@bark.lgbt avatar

@avuko @theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic however, given that i'm trapped in mud, and not able to do what i need to do, i am disabled, but that disability does not come from within me, it comes from the environment i'm in trapping me in torturous conditions

StrassenKatze, to actuallyautistic
@StrassenKatze@universeodon.com avatar

I am feeling called out by the top half of this @actuallyautistic

wruffian,
@wruffian@bark.lgbt avatar

@VeeRat @StrassenKatze @actuallyautistic i need this in my life

samiam, to actuallyautistic
@samiam@lor.sh avatar

@actuallyautistic so many thanks to those who have made feel feel heard and welcome here in the past weeks. the story thus far: 41 years of "muddling thru" depression, anxiety, misc mysterious health problems, etc when one day a new friend (very rare!) shared with me that they are autistic, and respectfully asked me if i might be too.
this [re]kindled lots of thoughts and feels and sent me down a path of recognizing and uncovering some fairly autistic-seeming traits and behaviors that i had been ignoring or suppressing. i have lately been thinking of myself as "provisionally autistic" which is how i'm trying to walk this line between, one the one hand, not mentally framing Autism As One True The Explanation For Everything and stretching things to try to force them to fit; and, on the other hand, not giving in to Autistic Imposter Syndrome. i want "provisionally autistic" to be a comfortable in-between place where i can "let myself be as autistic as i am" without "trying to be autistic when i'm not" and just observe myself and see how it goes. if that makes any sense?

but (and this is a question mainly to all you late/recent adult [self/]dx folks out there, but of course also anyone else who wants to respond):
How do you KNOW?
i'm stuck in this place where lots of things seem relatable and plausible but there is no sense of AHA IT FITS. there's no THIS FINALLY EXPLAINS IT. i know it's early for me yet -- i've been taking this seriously for weeks not years -- and i probably have to be patient with myself . . . but ggghhhghg.
maybe i'm just venting? i don't know. i'm having a day.

wruffian,
@wruffian@bark.lgbt avatar

@samiam @actuallyautistic

some things come to mind, relating with some of what was said in this thread.

the constellation of spectra: numerous small qualities, each varying in intensity. this seems to go for all things in life. it goes for autism. autisticity.

if you experience affinity with these qualities, you share in autisticity. that makes you autistic.

will you have 'em all maxed out? maybe. probably not. we're all different.

wruffian,
@wruffian@bark.lgbt avatar

@itsmeholland @samiam @actuallyautistic just to re-affirm this explicitly: that is part of autisticity.

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