Why Aspire To The Ideal Man?

I’m doing some research for a post I’d like to make in this community about the crisis of masculinity and I had a question pop into my brain: Why don’t manly men explain the reason for being a man?

Let me explain.

A manly man may, when asked why they’re a man, respond “Look at me”, as if phenotypic expression makes them a man, even as they may disparage a trans-man who has similar physical characteristics. Or they may say, “Because I’m the breadwinner” or some other variation that references the role they play in society as a man.

But like…why do that in the first place?

I’m a biological male but I honestly could not provide a purpose for being a man even though that is how I gender myself. I don’t appeal to my role as a man in anything I do nor do I see it as a justification for acting in any way. I don’t aspire to “be a man”, it’s not a motivating force.

So, I’m curious as to why it does for others. Help me out, y’all! Why “be man” in the first place?

cheery_coffee,

I’m not really a member of this community, hopefully that’s fine, I am a man.

I don’t think most people are going to know what you want when you ask why they’re a man, they just are men, like a tree is a tree or water is wet. That doesn’t have to discount trans people, because theyre just trans and that’s that.

When you ask what the purpose of being a man is I don’t know what you’re asking. It’s a bit like asking the meaning of life, it’s unanswerable. There are certainly male archetypes, historically the provider, the hunter, the builder, and those are still around but they’re not my goals. I do feel a pressure to make sure my family is provided for and fill that role. I also feel pressure to look good which means exercising and looking traditionally male.

I don’t aspire to be some stereotypical 1800’s moustached bare-knuckle brawler character of masculinity for masculinity’s sake, but when I look at history there are men I aspire to be like (for their achievements and attributes).

wesker,
@wesker@lemmy.sdf.org avatar

Aspiring to be some vague archetypal construct of what a man is seems silly to me. I think people should aspire to have certain values and scruples. Most valuable men I’ve met were defined by their behavior and actions, rather than image and projection.

PeepinGoodArgs,

See, this is what I thought initially: “I’m a man” is an indirect expression of values. And in more thoughtful men, traditional or otherwise, they may be able to articulate their values. So, I think this is probably the best answer.

But then there’s the obvious question of why those values embody being a man only. Why can’t women value the same thing and have the same type of expression? This part of the traditional manliness-as-values makes absolutely no sense to me. It seems unnecessarily restrictive.

wesker,
@wesker@lemmy.sdf.org avatar

Traditional gender roles are useful until they’re no longer useful, as a society changes. I think western culture is going through a number of identity crises as a result of changes to various status quo, and the idea of “manliness” has become confusing for many. And unfortunately, the western world isn’t great at suggesting or encouraging healthy alternatives or the means to individually arrive at them. We instead wage culture wars, point fingers, and do disservice to those suffering in silent confusion.

This is all clearly just my opinion from my armchair, and I respect and welcome contrasting points of view.

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