This is a repost. I am not the original author (see disclaimer at the bottom).

I quite enjoyed writing and receiving feedback on my Halsey post, so I thought I’d do another post about a different fandom. This time, we’re delving into the extremely chaotic Adam Driver standom.

PLEASE NOTE: SEVERAL COMMENTS, USERNAMES, ETC. ARE LINKED AND SCREENSHOTTED HERE FOR EVIDENCE’S SAKE. DO NOT HARASS ANYONE INVOLVED. DO NOT DOXX ANYONE OR ATTEMPT TO CHASE THEM DOWN.

TL;DR: The Adam Driver fandom is split down the middle. Things came to a head when a fan from one side of the fandom gave Adam a wooden carving of his dog and he called them out in a New Yorker article months later. It turned out the person who made the wood carving is associated with fans who are convinced he is divorced from (or in the process of divorcing) his wife after Adam had an affair with Daisy Ridley. Wank ensued.

I’m going to start with the event and work backwards to the context. Let’s start with the basics.

Basic Terminology: What is a Stan?

Eminem’s song “Stan” describes a so-called “stalker fan,” someone who is obsessed with an artist to the point of shaping their entire life around them. The term gained some prominence on Livejournal gossip blog “Oh No They Didn’t” to describe superfans of artists, actors, and celebrities. Currently, a “stan” is anyone who posts exclusively or semi-exclusively about a famous person, group, or band, and a “standom” is a fandom made up of stans.

I’ve previously posted about Halsey stans; this post, however, is about Adam Driver stans.

Who is Adam Driver?

You most likely know 36-year-old Adam Driver from his work in the Star Wars franchise as the fearsome Kylo Ren, son of Han Solo and Princess Leia Organa. (WARNING: Article may contain spoilers.) What you may not know about Adam is his strange backstory, his marriage to his wife Joanne Tucker, and his rich filmography outside of Star Wars.

Born in California and raised in Indiana in a conservative family, Adam had dreams of leaving his small town of Mishawaka to become an actor. However, after 9/11, Adam, like many Americans, found himself swept up in the wave of patriotism that seized the USA, and he applied to become a Marine. He served for three years at Camp Pendelton, California as a mortarman and speaks fondly about his time in the Corps, as well as the friends he made. He was later honorably discharged for breaking his collarbone in a mountain biking accident and watched with guilt as his friends went on to fight in the ongoing War on Terror in the Middle East.

However, Adam was already reconsidering his career path during his service. A training exercise involving white phosphorous took a turn for the deadly, and he recalls:

I was like, ‘I’m going to smoke cigarettes and be an actor when I get out.’ Those were my two thoughts. I wanted to smoke cigarettes and be an actor.

After leaving the military, Adam, like many marines, had trouble adjusting to civilian life and puttered around the Midwest doing odd jobs. His second application to the acting school, Julliard, was accepted, and Adam dropped everything to move to New York City. During his education, he fell in love with acting and found its controlled release of emotions therapeutic. You can hear his TED talk about how acting helped him express himself and adjust to civilian life here.

He met his wife, Joanne, in his cohort. The two married in 2013 and went on to found Arts in the Armed Forces, or AITAF: a charity dedicated to bringing free, high-quality theater to military bases and to veterans’s families.

Adam is famously shy and reclusive. He and his wife successfully hid the fact that they had a son for two years. While he isn’t rude to fans, coworkers, or industry professionals, Adam is defensive of his personal space and reacts poorly to being candidly photographed in public.

He does not have social media, giving fans very little opportunity to speak or interact with him. If you want to say hi to him at all, you either have to wait for a charity auction, camp out for a red carpet, or attend an AITAF event and hope that he’s there in-person. So when Adam announced a Broadway run in 2019, fans were thrilled at the opportunity to finally meet their idol.

March-July 2019: “Burn This”

Burn This is a somewhat obscure play by playwright Lanford Wilson. A Broadway revival was performed in 2019 with Keri Russel as the main character, Anna, and Adam as her love interest, Pale. The two begin a hasty love affair when Robbie, Pale’s brother and Anna’s roommate, dies suddenly in a boating accident and Pale comes by to collect Robbie’s belongings. Robbie was gay, and the play takes place during the AIDS epidemic of the 1980s.

The play isn’t done often, partially because Pale is a challenging role: a fast-talking cokehead from New Jersey with violent mood swings. Pale is openly homophobic, yet spends the play trying to figure out how to mourn his brother. It takes skill to capture the subtlety in Wilson’s writing and not downgrade Pale to a violent brute with no emotion. Adam originally played Pale during his tenure at Julliard and took on the role again for the Broadway revival. The play did so well that it was nominated for a Tony for Best Revival, and Adam was nominated for Best Actor in a Stage Play.

The “Burn This” Stage Door

It’s common among theater fans to wait at the stage door to greet the actors, get their programs signed, and even (if they’re lucky) chat with their idols for a bit. Occasionally, the crowd is sparse, but stage doors for famous actors are usually heavily crowded, even mobbed. Security is often needed for the safety of the crowd and the performers. Tom Hiddleston, for example, had a huge crowd 5-6 people deep at its thinnest when I met him after Betrayal in 2019.

Adam was no exception: the Burn This stage door usually had a moderate crowd after every show, and so the Hudson Theater was outfitted with several security guards and barricades, including a personal bodyguard for Adam himself. Early videos of the stage door show a small crowd, but as the play wore on, security measures became more intense.

In spite of the crowd, the Burn This stage door was usually pleasant and calm. Adam exited the theater promptly after the show ended each night, and he was incredibly sweet and patient with fans outside of the stage door. Throughout almost all of spring, Adam patiently stopped to sign every single person’s Playbill, shake hands, and say hi. On one memorable occasion, he carried his dog, Moose, from the stage door to his car before coming back to sign programs. Plenty of videos exist on Twitter, Tumblr, Youtube, and Reddit of peaceful interactions.

From my own experience at the door, I can personally say he will slow down for fans and happily greet them if they are calm and polite.

If.

June 2019: Someone Jumps The Stage

Stage door interactions slowed down around May. I was fortunate enough to meet Adam at the stage door, as were many friends who went around May 4th; others, however, waited for Adam, only to be told he was not coming. This sort of lag is normal, especially in the middle of a play run that’s showing 8 performances a week: the actors are usually tired and want nothing more than to go home and get some sleep.

However, some fans were not satisfied. Some especially dedicated playgoers began staking out all entrance/exit points of the Hudson Theater. Sure enough, on days he didn’t sign, Adam was leaving through the main entrance of the theater, accompanied by a small security detail. (Bear in mind that the main entrance =/= the stage door: the stage door was behind the theater and on an entirely separate street.)

A video was posted on Twitter in June 2019 of Adam leaving the main entrance of the Hudson Theater with his head down; in the background, you can hear a small crowd of people shouting after him. One woman gets right to the door of his car, but she is otherwise non-aggressive, and Adam gently turns her down before getting into the vehicle.

Reactions to this post were brief and basically amounted to, “Hey what the fuck OP,” but this was only the tip of the iceberg when it came to weird, out-of-touch fan behavior.

Days later, a strange Twitter thread emerged, detailing a drunk woman who had to be kicked out of the Hudson and blocked from going near Adam at the stage door. Details of the thread were corroborated by others who were either at the same show or friends with OP. The story goes like this:

A woman got a little too tipsy on 17 dollar beers at the Hudson and sat through the entire show without incident. However, just after bows had ended and the actors had left, the woman stood up, made her way to the front of the stage, and climbed up. She then promptly made her way backstage, where she reportedly gave Keri Russel a huge fright before being escorted out by security. Once she was outside of the backstage area, the stage jumper persisted in trying to dodge security and get in front of Adam, insisting she was a “friend.” Adam came out and signed as normal, not once paying attention to the screaming woman trying to dodge several security guards. Adam made his way home unscathed, and the stage jumper was never seen again.

But somehow, this was not the incident that made the news. At this point, you may be wondering why this was not the most memorable incident of the Burn This stage door. How could Adam or Keri not talk about the drunk woman who suddenly appeared backstage?

That’s because the incident that did make the news has its roots deep in Adam Driver standom. Those roots dig into some very dark places.

We have arrived at the most famous incident at the Burn This stage door: the dog carving.

Summer 2019: The Dog Carving

In the summer, an Adam Driver stan by the username Missus-Misanthrope waited at the stage door with a special gift for Adam Driver: a wood carving of his beloved dog, Moose.

I have seen a picture of the (supposed) carving, but to maintain Missus-Misanthrope’s privacy, I will not be posting a screenshot here. Essentially, it’s a small, flat block of wood with Moose’s smiling face woodburned into it. I am not a fan of Missus-Misanthrope (or her kin in our fandom) by any means, but it is extremely well-done.

When Adam made his way to her at the stage door, Missus-Misanthrope greeted him and handed him the carving. A GIF of this interaction is here.

At the beginning of the GIF, Adam is looking down, presumably at the wood carving. He nods at it and thanks Missus-Misanthrope with a smile. He turns hands it off to his security team. There is a long pause where he appears to be either waiting for his security team or examining the carving. Finally, he turns back to Missus-Misanthrope without making eye contact and continues signing Playbills. His expression is neutral.

Let me be abundantly clear: this exact GIF is impossible to find. This write-up took a while, partially because I was looking all over for the damn thing. It has been scrubbed from the Internet. The original Imgur post is set to “private.” Accounts have been erased, posts have been either deleted or archived, and Twitters have been suspended, deactivated, or moved. It took over a week of me asking everyone I knew, combing individual Twitters by date, and abusing the Wayback Machine before someone eventually found it and sent it to me.

Missus-Misanthrope wanted this GIF gone from the Internet. This was the interaction Adam Driver remembered from his stage door. This interaction would become infamous months later, in October, when it came up during an interview.

October 2019: The New Yorker Article

During the Burn This run, author Michael Schumer interviewed Adam Driver for the New Yorker. The article was released in October 2019 and can be found here. I highly recommend it: it’s a stunning interview, capturing a lot of the nuances of Adam’s personality as he goes about his pre-show ritual.

However, this interview made waves because of Adam’s off-hand comment about fan interactions at the stage door (emphasis mine):

On the couch was a piece of fan art he had received at the stage door. During “Girls,” strangers would often share details about their sex lives with him. (One guy stopped him in the subway and said, “I love that scene where you pee on her in the shower,” then turned to his girlfriend and said, fondly, “I pee on her all the time.”) But “Star Wars” has made him uncomfortably famous. “This one woman who has been harassing my wife came to the show and gave me a creepy wood carving that she made of my dog,” he said.

The stage jumper, the fans pursuing him at all doors into and out of the Hudson, seemed to fade away in comparison to this ten seconds of stage door history. Adam mentions the “creepy wood carving,” and it is never touched upon again. But that one sentence sent stans into fits.

Some began gleefully sharing the original GIF of the interaction; others laughed at Missus-Misanthrope or showed her pity. Still more questioned whether or not it was appropriate to give Adam a portrait of his dog at all: even though Adam has featured Moose in photoshoots, stage door interactions, and even a news interview, opinions are mixed about how much fans are allowed to comment on his personal life. The wood carving of Moose seemed to toe that line in an uncomfortable way and ignited heated discussion on what behavior was “allowed” and “not allowed.”

But there is a short passage just after Adam’s comment about the wood carving that hints at the dark heart of this scandal:

He and Tucker have a young son, whose birth they kept hidden from the press for two years, in what Driver called “a military operation.” Last fall, after Tucker’s sister, who was launching a peacoat business, accidentally made her Instagram account public and someone noticed the back of his son’s head in one picture, the news wound up on Page Six.

Under what circumstances would Adam and Joanne have to hide a child for two years? Recall that Adam was not just scandalized by the wood carving (emphasis mine):

“This one woman who has been harassing my wife came to the show and gave me a creepy wood carving that she made of my dog."

No, something about Missus-Misanthrope herself had made him deeply uncomfortable. The wood carving wasn’t the whole of the issue: it was something about how the fandom had treated his wife and the news of their child.

Here was where the real drama about this tiny wood carving lied.

Daiver Fandom and adamdriverfans

Missus-Misanthrope was part of a subreddit called “adamdriverfans.” Not to be confused with the main Adam Driver subreddit, “adamdriver,” adamdriverfans is incredibly small (only about 3000 subscribers) and, on the surface, appears to be a normal subreddit about Adam and his work. EDIT: It’s 3,000 subcribers, not 300. Missed a zero!

However, probe deeper, and adamdriverfans reveals its true nature. The subreddit is, in part, a haven for discussion between Daivers, or people that “ship” Adam Driver and Daisy Ridley and want them to be in a relationship. (“Ship” is short for “relationship.”)

Daivers are not to be confused with “Reylos,” Star Wars fans who want Adam and Daisy’s respective characters, Kylo Ren and Rey, to date. Daivers go one step further and want the actors to be together. Any Daivers found on adamdriverfans are the most extreme iteration of this kind of ‘shipper: they believe that Adam and Daisy had an affair, followed by a falling-out somewhere around The Force Awakens, and that Lucasfilm (and their respective publicists) have been keeping them separate. This line of thinking also posits that Joanne is an ice queen keeping Adam on a short leash.

This is not to say that all posters on adamdriverfans are Daivers; many want what’s best for Adam and see it as their right to comment on Adam’s personal life. But it’s challenging to separate posts from true-blue Daivers, posts from those who think Adam and Daisy had an affair, and posts from users who simply hate Joanne Tucker. In my opinion, it’s impossible to go near the subreddit unless you believe, on some level, that Joanne and Adam should separate, and that Daisy is a factor in that separation.

Multiple posts exist trashing Joanne Tucker and questioning whether or not the baby is Adam’s. Someone doxxed Adam and Joanne and discovered multiple residences, fueling speculation on whether or not they were “secretly” divorced or otherwise separated. There is “evidence” that their marriage is a sham or otherwise a marriage of convenience.

Supporters of Joanne and Adam’s marriage and critiques of the subreddit are considered “blind” mean girls ignoring the truth and looking for someone to bully. In reality, the fans on adamdriverfans are hostile towards non-members: One poster even called other women “creepy” for asking to shake Adam’s hand at the stage door. Still another post implies that fans who don’t believe the rumors are waiting for their chance to sleep with Adam.

For its part, the mods of adamdriverfans posit the subreddit as a place for healthy discussion. Other stans treat adamdriverfans as a joke, leading the mods to be mostly hostile to those questioning the constant dunking on Adam and his wife. Dissenters have even been speculated to be PR people deflecting any discussion of Joanne and Adam’s relationship in the hopes of saving *Burn This’*s ticket sales:

4Chan is full of PR people trying to shut down discussion by posting outrageous, disprovable claims in an effort to discredit all info about Joanne. You are a threat because you have a credible story.

This is why Burn This is selling slowly. There are tickets available for every single night and whole parts of the theatre are empty on some nights. Joanne is a PR disaster. They can’t even call on their friends and connections to help fill the seats

It’s worthy of note that the Daiver and anti-Joanne communities extends into TikTok and other social media: for example, there is an entire Instagram account called "ihatejoannetucker" dedicated to posting personal photos and making fun of Joanne. Here, I focus on adamdriverfans because it was the main vehicle for Missus-Misanthrope to post her thoughts and feelings.

MissusMisanthrope’s Backstory

Missus-Misanthrope had been recognized by Adam for a reason: she had already tried to pass a carving (speculated to be the very same dog carving given in 2019) to Adam via Joanne at an AITAF donor event in 2018.

Bear in mind that AITAF events are primarily for celebrating veterans and bringing accessible theater to them and their families. They are not fan events for Adam Driver. However, Missus-Misanthrope saw her opportunity to interact with Adam when she saw Joanne and a friend at the bar (bolding for emphasis by me):

I am an artist and had two gifts that I wanted to try to get to Adam. One was an anniversary plaque for AITAF, the other was a portrait of his dog. When I saw Joanne, I thought she would be the perfect person to help me accomplish this.

From the second I approached her, she made me feel like garbage. I was polite, I thanked her for her work with AITAF. When I said that I had gifts for Adam, she asked me if I was a veteran. When I said no, she narrowed her eyes at me and asked me “how did you get IN HERE?” as though she suspected that I had… snuck in?

“I donated money that was very hard to come by and purchased a ticket” I responded.

She chuckled smugly and said “oh… you’re a DONOR. No. I can’t help you.”

I was taken aback… I was not sure that I heard her correctly. “You can’t do anything? If I give them to you can you…”

“No”

Then she turned to the woman she was with and said “Lindsay, this… DONOR has PRESENTS for ADAM.”

Then they both just… laughed? Like how could I EVER think that they would let me give my STUPID presents to ADAM.

Missus-Misanthrope continued describing feelings of hurt, dismissal, and betrayal.

I felt like they both viewed me like I was NOTHING.

I have never felt like such a freaking idiot in my life.

So… that was something. I almost cried. Went into the situation really admiring Joanne. Left the situation feeling really disillusioned and crappy and like I did something wrong. It sucked to look forward to that event so much and work hard to overcome anxiety to travel to NY alone and have some awful crap like that happen.

She implies that, had Adam not commented his gratitude towards donors later on in the event, she would not have felt appreciated or seen (emphasis mine):

Adam was very vocal about his appreciation of the donors to AITAF so at least I didn’t feel like complete useless trash.

I hope she isn’t treating a lot of donors like this. This could really make some people look at AITAF in a different light if she is the only person they interact with.

A later comment in the same thread underlines feelings of betrayal (emphasis mine):

I have played it over and over in my head and I literally didn’t do anything wrong. I mean, even if I had, she is a grown woman… why was she laughing at me? I felt like I was in a freaking nightmare.

Her behavior was so ugly and childish. If she is doing this to people, they NEED to speak up. I don’t know why anyone feels like they need to protect her if she is really treating people this way. This type of behavior coming from her can impact the reputation of Adam and AITAF.

I am going to be sending an official complaint to AITAF about my experience. It was just so, so not okay.

By the time Missus-Misanthrope attended the stage door in 2019, she had already publicly expressed dislike of Joanne and became a valued member of adamdriverfans. And Adam, whether through his wife or through other incidents at other AITAF events, knew full well who she was.

October 2019: Your Friendly Neighborhood Pariah

Fans elsewhere quickly identified the “creepy wood carving” girl as Missus-Misanthrope. EDIT: I’ve been informed that it was not fans, but Missus-Misanthrope’s husband, who identified her. Her husband left an angry comment (now deleted) on the author’s Twitter.

adamdriverfans, predictably, went absolutely apeshit.

The article was deemed to be “angry” and vengeful towards fans like Missus-Misanthrope for no reason. A poster deemed calling Missus-Misanthrope out in the article “classless.” There was worry that Missus-Misanthrope was now in danger due to Adam’s comment:

This fan has NOTHING. Who is going to protect her from the onslaught of Adam’s rabid fans and even the media who will likely try and track her down?

Other members of adamdriverfans said that Adam was well within his right to say something:

People are taking this way too personally. The fact is, there are a lot of Adam Driver “fans” out there who have been too creepy, taken things too far, and done gross stuff like deliberately scribble his wife out of photos they took together. Are those fans in the minority? Yeah, I’m positive of that.

But he has every right to his opinion and every right to express boundaries like any other person out there. I’m not even a huge fan of the dude and I get where he’s coming from, regardless of how awkwardly he puts it.

He doesn’t owe anybody anything. No one is entitled to him being 24/7 super nice and positive and not mentioning stuff like this.

Those who side with Missus-Misanthrope say that Adam was targeting Missus-Misanthrope on purpose:

My issue with the article was not that Adam expressed being creeped out by a fan/defending his wife. My issue is that he targeted someone specific. This fan had been having issues with AD and giving him this specific woodcarving for a YEAR now. I believe that this specific fan was mentioned on purpose. I don’t believe in coincidences.

But what about Missus-Misanthrope? Well…she didn’t feel good, to put it lightly. In a statement to the subreddit entitled “Your Friendly Neighborhood Pariah,” Missus-Misanthrope defended her behavior at the 2018 AITAF event:

I simply approached her in a common area of the theatre because I was advised by AITAF staff that I could talk to her about handing my gifts for AITAF and Adam off to someone who was able to help. Had I not been told that she was someone who could help me after the AITAF folks said that I should “definitely try to get the gifts to Adam” because “he will love them” I would not have even spoken to her.

All I was trying to do was give something to someone that I admire and to a foundation that I support. I wasn’t trying to break up a marriage or be manipulative. I was following advice from people who work for AITAF and it ended up turning into a very unpleasant situation.

Regarding the stage door interaction, Missus-Misanthrope felt attacked and exhausted:

Less than 24 hours later, I was being attacked and insulted for basically just existing in the same place as Adam. I now just wish I had never gone.

This fandom makes me sad and a little bit sick. I am going to just continue existing as I have been in the past. I am just doing my best. If people hate me, I doubt that I can change that. I have no control over what anyone does but my own self. So I am just going to focus on being a decent person and treating others with kindness.

The mods on adamdriverfans followed up with a post on Missus-Misanthrope:

Here at this sub we have had the pleasure and privilege of knowing MissusMisanthrope and we have seen firsthand how brave she has been in the face of so much bullying and harassment – all because she had spoken about incident with Joanne Tucker and for daring to give Adam Driver a gift. What happened yesterday though is on an entirely different level altogether. What has happened to MissusMisanthrope feels like a horror story of the worst possible outcome of being a fan of a celebrity:

Bullied by the celebrity’s wife and staff.

Bullied and doxed by fans of the celebrity.

Finally, being bullied by the celebrity himself.

But curiously, according to adamdriverfans, Adam had pointed out the wrong fan:

The absolutely tragedy of this situation is (and I can not state this enough) is that he singled out the wrong person. Again, HE SINGLED OUT THE WRONG PERSON. There is another person who actively harassed JT and her family on social media (the infamous StalkerChan) but, let’s be absolutely clear about this, that wasn’t MissusMisanthrope.

This meant that there was a mysterious other fan behaving inappropriately, and that Adam had mistaken Missus-Misanthrope for the other fan.

Regardless of the error, the dice had been cast, and the votes were in: Adam Driver hated his fans, and Missus-Misanthrope was, indeed, a fandom pariah.

Aftermath: Exodus, Post Purging, and the Downward Spiral to Doucheville

I want to emphasize how challenging it was to dig up receipts for this post. That’s because, shortly after the article broke, Missus-Misanthrope deleted all of her social media, and adamdriverfans began deleting older posts. When I began compiling evidence in September 2020, many old posts, tweets, etc. were completely gone. The GIF of the infamous stage door interaction had been almost completely wiped from the Internet: the original post on Imgur is private.

Shortly after the New Yorker article, Adam opened an Omaze charity campaign: By donating money to AITAF, you would be entered into a raffle to attend The Rise of Skywalker premiere with him.

However, Adam had previously voiced his distaste for peddling his autograph for money:

I don’t want to start getting into favors. It’s not about me and Star Wars. It’s about the people that we’re trying to serve and if you don’t get that then I’d rather not be associated with your money.

As a result, this Omaze campaign was met with negative reactions from those who sided with Missus-Misanthrope, with the general opinion that Adam was now a “sellout,” a slave to his wife’s desires to “save” AITAF from bad press. Many questioned if the Omaze campaign was an effort to repair relationships with fans after the Missus-Misanthrope scandal. Others questioned whether Adam was on a downward spiral in general, linking his “sellout” behavior to his weight loss and (supposed) fighting with Joanne.

Either way, one comment seemed to sum up the drama nicely:

It seems he is on a downward spiral to Doucheville.

Many announced that they were leaving the fandom after the Omaze campaign and after the New Yorker article. However, given the proximity to the mass exodus from the Star Wars fandom after The Rise of Skywalker hit theaters in December, it is unclear how much of the Adam standom exodus is Star Wars related and how much is Missus-Misanthrope related.

Regardless of the opinions of those on adamdriverfans, the Omaze campaign was a success. A veteran (coincidentally named Joanna) won and met Adam. A fan-run campaign started after The Rise of Skywalker raised a whopping 90,000 dollars for AITAF, funding their 2020 fiscal year and landing a personal thank-you from Adam himself. Needless to say, bad press from Missus-Misanthrope’s interactions with Adam and Joanne did not stick.

It is unknown whether or not Adam will do another Broadway run in the future.

EDIT: I’m super overwhelmed and delighted by the positive reception to this post. Thank you so, so much for the great discussion and for reading this (and for giving it awards!). If you’re spending money to give me awards, it would be stellar if you could give that money to BLM instead.

Disclaimer

This is a repost from reddit. I really missed this sub so I decided to post some top articles from time to time until hopefully one day this community will be large enough to produce its own content.

Read the original here