FreshLight,

Sounds more like a nice superpower

HawlSera,

Similar shit happens anytime I think I’m okay to enjoy Pokemon

EnderMB,

This has all the makings of a hit movie. It’s basically Death Note, but OP has to nut to seal the deal.

tacosupreme,

Que to scene, op desperately jerking it while running through crowded streets and murderer/hitman chasing him

Shard,

You forgot to say Astaghfirullah before each session.

It works the same way as no homo.

starman2112,

An abrahamic god punishing other people for your sins? Preposterous!

Zehzin,
@Zehzin@lemmy.world avatar

Lot’s family: Wack.

Thranduil,

Its lore accurate. Like when he killed first borns because he forced the pharaoh to reject moses

starman2112,

I guess there was also that one time he said to put all the Amalekite women, children, babies, and animals to death, and then got pissy when Saul didn’t do genocide fast enough

MeDuViNoX,

Anon just isn’t masturbating enough.

ivanafterall,
@ivanafterall@kbin.social avatar

I think OP needs to tell the story to his family and see what they think about who's to blame.

pyrflie,

Anon lives in a Theocratic region. His answer from family will be screwed.

That said 4chan probably won’t provide a good answer either.

pyrflie,

Correlation does not equal causation.

Anon’s family live in a suedo warzone, they aren’t going to die of old age.

Anon could go his whole life without masturbating or reproducing and chances are best case his niece is going to get blown to bits by a rocket or gunned down by police.

His own outlook is pretty grim depending on region and his side of the religious divide.

spez,

do we have a r/whooosh?

prex,

Only one way to find out…

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