this week is starting off with what i can only assume is a sinus infection, so that’s not ideal. i’m also down two grandparents, which likewise is not ideal
My mom has small cell lung cancer and is halfway across the US with my older brother. She has been mentally deteriorating for a while and they forgot my birthday. I get it because there is a lot going on with her disease, it’s just hard to see her so broken that she forgot.
My favorite food is artichokes and no store had them in stock, so I’m just gonna have steak and squash instead. Was at least hoping this would be an upside and now it’s not lol
IDK. It’s been an okay day I guess, I feel bad for my mom mostly. Getting older is hard.
It’s my birthday tomorrow! A friend just called me: “Someone sent me these weird AI pictures of Jeff Goldblum and for some reason that made me realize that it’s your birthday tomorrow. Happy early birthday!” I think that’s going to be my favorite birthday greeting from now on.
Online shopping the last 48 hours has been incredibly productive and money-saving! Aside from B&H, I didn’t use any large retailers either. Pretty happy about that.
I just worked my last day at a company I have been at for ten years. It’s a weird feeling but it has really gone to shit so it was time. Luckily I have a new job starting soon and things are moving along with paper work and other supplies like laptop, monitors, etc. it’s a hybrid position, Two days in the office, three working from home. Other than that, Thanksgiving at the SOs parents house. They always make amazing food.
It has not been a bad week. It has been over two weeks with no self-harm thoughts and I can’t express how happy I am about it. Of course, my brain still insists on waking me up in the middle of the night to give me a highlight reel of my past fuckups, but I’m coping.
I’ve also been learning to accept that one of the most important persons in my life is now gone and that’s it. It’s okay, though, I’ve been doing fine enough without her and the thought of not talking to her ever again doesn’t terrify anymore.
My deload week at gym has been ok. It’s easy and light, which I’m slowly learning to appreciate. My body feels great when it’s not so fatigued by constantly lifting heavy weights. Keeping tabs on my diet has been paying its dividends as I see my BMI going down week after week. I’m a few pounds away from no longer being considered overweight. Oh yeah, I also managed to do my first pull up!
All in all, it’s been a positive week. I’m hoping that the horrible events that took place earlier this year are now firmly behind me and won’t come back to haunt me. God, I really fucking hope so. It was hard, folks, it was really fucking hard.
Bad, the PVVV, a far-right party, won the elections here in Netherlands. I woke up to the news that they won 37 out of 150 seats (2nd largest has 25 seats). Geert Wilders is such a… nationalistic, short-sighted, opportunistic, loud-mouthed, Putin loving… asshole! Sorry, I really need to get this out of my system.
Thankfully they’ll still have to form a coalition with other parties and I really hope they’ll fail. Either that, or they spend a few months in government and show how ridiculously inept they are and let the cabinet fall.
We just elected a centre-right party that needed to go into coalition with our most right-wing party, who are libertarians, and our most populist party. They finally formed yesterday and now we have a government that is going to destroy the environment and decimate social services.
There’s way too many similarities between my dead-end call center job, and my new assistant director gig. It’s all sales, always has been. This job is better, and I’m happier, I place too much of my self value into jobs and money. I’ve been learning kotlin for a few months now, and I’ve created a (buggy) version of pong that runs on my phone! Its only a hundred lines added to the main function, but it (kinda) works and I made it with no tutorial. Ha!
Just found out the company I’ve been working for 10+ years has decided to end my contract after December ends. Really terrified as the last time something like this happened was more than 10 years ago when the office I worked for closed. Back then I didn’t have a kid, and I haven’t been in the job market looking for anything for that same period of time. Also had a not so fun visit with the doctor recently so it seems like things are suddenly becoming terrible.
It’s kind of nice when a teacher says “in my opinion you’ve done too much work for this project, don’t do anything else other than directing, and make the others finish it.” So my job for the next three weeks is literally just directing. If it involves anything to do with my own actual hands, I’m not allowed to do it. If the project doesn’t get finished because the rest of the team don’t put in their fair share of the work… well, we’ll all lose a few marks for that. But some of us have more leeway than others for losing a couple without failing the whole module…
Had something like this back in university. “We all did equal work on this project”. Professor: “So the better grade for CWagner and one less for the others because I don’t believe any of you” ;)
Oh yeah, our teacher totally knows who’s done the work and who hasn’t. We basically have a set up where there’s multiple sources of evidence for who has done what, and unsurprisingly, hard workers are more thorough about documenting what they’ve done. So even just at a glance at the digital whiteboard, it’s obvious who has contributed the most. And the teacher hasn’t even seen my detailed log yet. 😈
My weekend started with my car battery dying while I was far from home. It was midnight, freezing cold, and I was in shorts and a tee-shirt. Not fun! Apparently my battery hasn’t been replaced since 2017, so that’s terrific. Thankfully I was able to get a jump (after waiting two hours for a tow truck), and got home safe. Aside from a new battery, I think I’ll probably also invest in a portable jumper in the future. Y’know, just in case.
In other fun news, I’ve got a little over a month to finish three essays and study for a huge test that I’ve already failed once. Beyond that, though, I’m fine.
A few years ago this happened in a row to my roommate, myself, and my significant other. I bought one of those portable battery chargers, tested it to make sure it worked, and then kept it in my car for just in case.
It came in handy once or twice but I was already home so it just was slightly more convenient than cables. I like to think it will be useful and save my bacon one day, but I also have a dread feeling that it will just be dead or no longer functional on the day I finally need it and am away from home.
It’s been a long time since I’ve commented on these weekly check ups. I’m so sleepy… But for the first time in over a month, I feel caught up in a good chunk of my schoolwork. Can’t wait for break!
I accomplished a lot this semester but I just can’t process it yet. I’m too much in the thick of things, blinded by stress and exhaustion lol. Overall though, pretty hopeful. Things look bright.
Hope everyone is doing well, and/or things get better soon!
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