I assume you are not asking about small mistakes of no consequence, but rather big important stuff.
When it happened to me, I kept saying that it can’t be in vain. I made a del with myself, that I need to come out the other end better than I was before. I used those negative emotions to change myself and my life in a positive way.
For example, I quit smoking, started doing sports and improved my career all bases on some pretty bad stuff that I did.
Apologize, it’s not always easy but in the long run people will respect you for it. Either that or let it eat at you from the inside out for all eternity. I’ve done both, I recommend the former
about a third of this comment section is incredibly unhelpful by repeating that “shit happens” when you clearly just said you know that. in my case, you talk it out with someone, and either of two things can happen. you find someone who’ll help you with it, or someone who’ll shit you with it. if the latter happens, repeat. if the latter happens many times over eventually you’ll grow desensitized to it and the dread will kinda just disappeared. mind that things may work differently for everybody so maybe this will not work with you, but why not try it out.
Shit happens, I’ve made plenty of mistakes and still do make lots of mistakes and I will keep making lots of mistakes. The goal is to learn from them so as to not repeat them, instead of letting them haunt you for eternity…
Then you should just accept them, there is no going back, whatever happened, happened, and you grew as a person as a result of said mistakes. As I said, no use to overthink it…
I just sort of let it go and join the background of life experiences. My brain already knows to remind me of a mistake when it’s truly relevant, so why dwell?
Obviously this isn’t great advice for those struggling… but it’s what works for me. Not to brag, but I have an astoundingly bad memory, so not remembering things is kind of my forte.
I don’t believe in free will so there’s no point at ruminating in past mistakes. I couldn’t have done otherwise. I’m now just telling myself a story which makes me feel bad but achieves nothing else.
And no. This doesn’t mean I can do whatever and not take responsibility. If I intentionally hurt other people then yeah I could not have done otherwise but it does make me reflect on what kind of person does that.
Sure. You just didn’t author that intention in the way most would think. It’s just a feeling that has appeared in your consciousness which motivates you to act. You don’t choose to.
I don’t think many people wrestle with the fact that we look at the entire cosmos as mechanical. And we’ve made some brilliant tech from that, to prove determinism to ourselves all of everyday.
Unless you’re a sociopath, nobody gets up in the morning intending to screw up. But we all do. Because we’re human. We’re not perfect. We fuck up.
So stop being so hard on yourself. On any given Thursday, you’re doing the very best you can. Shit happens. Move on. Forgive others when they hurt you just like they forgive you. Forgive yourself. Because nobody’s perfect. You’re doing the best you can.
like everyone is saying, you have to frame it differently. what works for me is “you either win or learn”. there’s no such thing as losing when you are smart enough to know what you did wrong so you don’t fail again.
this took months for me to finally grasp and i feel much better for it
Add comment