Men, how well do you know your best male friends?

I keep seeing men online (Reddit, Instagram, TikTok) saying how they don’t know personal details about their male friends of several years. It is mostly said in a proud context, or in disbelief when a woman talks about it.

I’m talking about knowing someone for years and not knowing what they do for work specifically, their relationship status/major issues, their life goals, their family situation, birthdays, and stuff like that.

For context, I am a man in my 20s. I have a close friend group of around 10 people. We all know each other very well. We have a group chat, and meet at least once a week (obviously some people can’t always make it). We know a lot of details about each other, so this idea of being close friends with someone and not knowing personal stuff about each other seems foreign and weird to me.

Does it actually happen, or just internet hyperbole?

nueonetwo,

I have a pretty close group of male friends from highschool that I would like to say I know pretty well. I moved away from our hometown in my early twenties 10 years ago so it’s hard to keep up with the lives, who they’re dating, etc. We have a group chat that’s mostly just memes and stuff but it gives us a chance to reach out.

peanuts4life,
@peanuts4life@beehaw.org avatar

I know tons of my best friend of 24 years dirty laundry, his background and job, etc, but I’ve never met his gf of six months, and only incidentally seen his other friends. He has never met most of my friends, but he knows my gf and family well. I see his parents constantly.

oillut,

I have a close friend group and several non related friends who I’d say I know a lot about and vise-versa. With the group, certainly some more than others.

When hanging out with people I often find the most satisfying activity is to just chill, talk, and get to know each other better; pick their brain to see how their views differ from mine or are the same. Often an easy thing to do when we’re low on energy too

demystify,

Hi there, can attest: have a childhood friend whom I’ve known for years, know surprisingly little about him. I think it might be a cultural thing, for men to not bond too deeply, which is a damn shame.

MarcellusDrum,

Hmm, interesting. Where are you from?

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