I had hoped to go out to a show tonight, but nope... Taking a drive at dusk to pick something up at the store for my mom used up all of the mental energy I had, and by the time I got home, I was in full blown headache mode.
One of the things I hate about winter is how early it gets dark. Being out at dusk is SO much more overstimulating in the winter because other people are still out and about when it gets dark at 4, so you get a face full of headlights when you're driving around.... and the mixture of astigmatism making lights looking streaky and autism's overstimulation.... I just can't.
So, once again I've cancelled my plans to stay home in the dark because it's too much to take a drive and go out tonight, and I am so frustrated about it and my lack of planning to make it work.
@spika@actuallyautistic i'm having trouble with groceries tonight for about the same reasons. going to order instacart cause thinking about going anywhere right now is giving me all kinds of anxiety.
@crashglasshouses@actuallyautistic It's frustrating because while my astigmatism is always present, whether or not it's an overstimulation trigger isn't consistent so I don't always think to compensate and plan around it. So when it does tip me into overstimulation, it takes me completely off guard and in the case of this evening, completely ruined my plans.
I'm glad for stuff like instacart being an option to make things easier.
@spika@crashglasshouses@actuallyautistic I gave up yesterday and ordered my groceries on line and scheduled going to pick them up in the parking lot. It's a lot less and the appointment motivates me.
@punishmenthurts@spika@crashglasshouses@actuallyautistic I started this during covid, unsurprisingly, but still love to do it. I HATE going in the stores. Especially the stupid #Winco type stores where if you go to a checkout person you have to frantically try to repack all your groceries before the next customer, and sometimes people do not even acknowledge that you need to get past them to pack your own groceries up. Aruguggh. My partner doesn't understand why I hate going to stores anymore. 😵💫😮💨
@HaelusNovak@spika@crashglasshouses@actuallyautistic almost opposite for me, it's the only time I see people and I sort of look forward to it fairly often, despite I'm the only mask half the time. But still, some days not so much and the agoraphobia, or the disability wins.
i don't think it's that asigmatism is itself an overstimulating thing. It sounds like their brain finds streaky lights overstimulating, and it just happens that they're coming from that source.
I have significant astigmatism & am not bothered by that.
It's more that each of us has specific things that our brains don't like. Ex. Some hate the feel of OJ with pulp. Some hate OJ without it. 🤷♀️
@masukomi@spika@crashglasshouses@actuallyautistic
I have astigmatism. I’ve never liked driving at night, but I like it even less now than years ago. Not sure if that’s an ageing, autism or astigmatism thing, or a combination.
@masukomi@Susan60@spika@crashglasshouses@actuallyautistic Yeah, add that lots of newer cars have overly bright headlights and/or poorly aimed/designed ones that blind you like high beams...I can relate. Though I do also have a astigmatism.....I'm sure that doesn't help.
I would say that the astigmatism isn't necessarily overstimulating in and of itself, most of the time it doesn't really bother me and it's not something I usually think much about because I've always had it, and it's always made things like headlights and street lights look like streaks in the dark.
But, also since realizing I may be autistic.... I'm paying a lot more attention to what sort of sensory things are happening when I start to meltdown, and in this case I was already in kind of a crummy mood for other reasons and I think driving to the store was the thing that just sorta pushed me over the edge.
This is the sort of thing I’m doing a lot of. Looking back & realising… My sensitivities aren’t as strong as some people’s, meaning that a single cause is less likely to trigger a meltdown & therefore the meltdown less understandable. And some sensitivities have been ignored or “put up with”, which has a cumulative effect.
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