Hello @ActuallyAutisic community! This is my first post here. I'm exploring my possible neurodivergence late in life (my awareness of this has been raised via my psychotherapy training).
I've always known that I like routine. But this week, I am aware that because my routine is very disrupted on two days, I cannot focus, I'm feeling extremely anxious, I forgot the changes/implications of the changes and messed up my schedule. I am generally very strict about putting things in my diary and somehow I let that slip and my life has become a mess! :bd08: . Anyone identify?
@brainpilgrim@actuallyautistic Thank you for your responses, which were helpful to read. I am sorry to hear about your burnout. I wonder if I might be staving off burnout too but I'm not sure what it looks like. I have been working so much for so long, it's normal for me.
@helenstlouis@actuallyautistic I am incredibly rigid with my routines. It helps me live in a well-made and well-structured bubble where I thrive instead of struggle. I can’t handle when any part of my routine changes. I barely leave my apartment and see no one, but I like it that way. No one is welcome in my apartment lol. Allows me to live in a well controlled bubble. Although my extreme version of rigid routine is partly the overcontrolled coping. Makes me good at being an entrepreneur though
I feel solidarity. Welcome to the beginning of your new (and better) life in this world not made for our kind. It's rough on the outside, but the inside feels ever so much relief (from my own experiences).
@helenstlouis@actuallyautistic I can totally identify. I am also late identified and trying to figure this out. now that I know what causes me problems, I am having a lot of issues around plans changing or routines being disrupted
@helenstlouis@actuallyautistic and whats hilarious (to me) is that when I told my parents recently that I'm Autistic and we talked about what that may have looked like when I was a kid, my dad's first question was about how I reacted when plans changed lol. I didnt even know that was an issue because I'd masked myself into numbness about it for long. but now that I know, i can see that my responses are right back to what they were as a kid, and I'm less able to hide from them
@seanwithwords@actuallyautistic Yes, I am realising this goes back for me too! I don't remember much from childhood, but my husband learned early on in our relationship that it wasn't a good idea to surprise me with lovely breaks away etc!! I didn't respond in the way he expected 😂
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