The phrase "burnt out former gifted kid" has always given me the ick, but there are unique challenges/issues/traumas related to that experience that tend to come up in #autistic discussions and I've never encountered a good description.
Proposal for a slightly less icky alternative:
✨ burnt out former high achiever ✨
@orangegoldgreen@actuallyautistic@autistics
For me intrapersonally….It’s mostly the gifted part, that gives me the ick, we are all gifted right?
The burnout is just the result. No blame or judgement just acceptance.
I've been thinking about gamifying the process of making new friends in my city. Kind of like a #LARP but your character is just yourself, and you earn points for showing up to small group events. Extra points for helping organize gatherings and coming up with creative ideas for people to get to know each other better.
...I've been thinking about this for over a year, maybe someday I'll have enough energy to actually start it.
I'm speaking here as an #autistic person, my score is 7 out of 10.
Also note:
I've heard a lot of good things about this.
This was released 10 years ago.
Those said and considered:
The show is not about the autistic person, or #autism for that matter. Autism was only used as a literary device to create a drama, like most other shows (be it Asian or Western) where there is an autistic character.
There was an excessive emphasis on "dumb", "stupid", and "idiot". Instead of it making people emphatize, it makes an audience hateful.
None of them actually showed that they finally understood autism and autistic people. To the very end, it was all about "do this" and "do that" so people will accept you and respect you. Sure, this is a common problem with society, however, should they have ended it that way? People will unconsciously think that's the proper way. It is not acceptance, it is forcing an autistic person to be "neurotypical".
And yet, 박시온 (Park Shi On) said in the last episode that it hurts him more when he's trying to remove his difference. But the people around him still acted the same way to end. There's a disconnect there.
The female lead is a prime example of a lover who doesn't understand a single thing about autism and autistic persons. She never showed any sign that she's doing her best to understand him, nope, instead she's doing her best to make him a "normal" person.
Yes, that's how it is in the real world. I've been in such a relationship. However, why leave it that way? She want to do things her way to the end. She will eventually get tired and quit. They will have a lot of fights. 시온 (Shi On) will just keep doing the same thing, keep quiet, say it is okay, say he is not mad, because he is always the one doing the "understanding".
What they did was to only validate that this relationship is doomed to fail instead of showing how a relationship with an autistic person can be if done properly.
The entire show, it was 박시온 who did the understanding and adjustments. Basically, the show taught us that autistic people should mask, mask, mask, and mask more. That no one will accept you unless you "get over" your autism (or in other words, mask your autism).
Conclusion:
While it did show the discrimination, stereotype, and prejudices against autistic people.
While it did capture the traits and quirks of an autistic person well.
I cannot recommend this show at all because it does more damage than in helping the autistic cause.
If I watched this when it was released in 2013, yes, I would say the same thing and rate it similarly. I'm sorry.
Just watch 이상한 변호사 우영우 (Extraordinary Attorney Woo).
I voted earlier today. We have two, one for Barangay (Town) and one for Sanguniang Kabataan (SK or Youth Council).
The election rep handling the ballots asked for my ID because he had to confirm my age.
SK (Youth Council) is open for 15 to 30 years old voters.
I look like I'm in my late 20s.
While he did not ask me for my age, better to confirm it with an ID to avoid election fraud, when people ask me, I used to say, "I stopped counting at 30" (now it's 28). It's half-joke, the other half is the truth, people do mistake me to be in my late 20s.
Many #ActuallyAutistics, for some reason, look half their actual age once we enter adulthood. I'm not aware of any scientific explanation regarding this, but it has been observed.
For me, this was not the first time. I was always mistaken to be underage (under 18) until I hit 25-27. It was always funny whenever I was with friends or colleagues because they all reacted. 🤣
It was a 5–10-year gap. Now it's a 20+ year gap. Maybe one day, there will be a 30-year gap with my actual age.
@MariaTheMartian Ooh! Thank you for sharing. I'll read up on it. Interesting. I'm in my early 40s too and mistaken for late 20s.
If I cut my hair, like army cut, people start to mistake me to be in my early 20s or late teens. 😅 It's why I'm keeping my hair long, because the public treats late teens and early 20s differently for some reason. (I'm fine with late 20s, haha.)
@youronlyone@actuallyautistic@actuallyautistics@autistics I used to ride the bus accidentally paying childrens fare (up to 14y old), because I just stated my destination and payed, until I was about 20y old. Got carded for alcohol until my 30s, invited to a 'youth group' when I was 37y old.
My hair is beyond plucking. It was at plucking 20 years ago. I think I went grey early but the pandemic is accelerating it. I looked it up, autoimmune stuff turns your hair gray. So it could be my hypothyroid or it could be a stealth long covid symptom. But my mother always dyed her hair to hide the grey and I swore I wasn't going to worry about it. I've already gotten complimented on my "highlights" (the grey) and been confused!
Oh, but I never tried plucking it, either. I excitedly told someone about my first grey hair, and they said "don't pluck it! Kill one, and a dozen go to its funeral"
@MariaTheMartian@actuallyautistic@youronlyone@autistics hmm, I don't have EDS (although I only just don't fulfill all diagnostic criteria), but I definitely have connective tissue issues, my stomach and calves are striped with the sub surface scars of connective tissue failing.
I never got pregnant (not possible, unfortunately), and never gained weight very quickly. I used to be hypermobile as a child, and I'm still surprisingly flexible. So yep, maybe… …could be a factor.
@youronlyone@actuallyautistic@actuallyautistics@autistics i also look significantly younger than my age. though i think part of the issue is my body type (slim and very short) and that i present somewhat androgynous, and people think that looks childlike. so i don't know how much it is really my face that looks young.
it has been a real bother at some times - i've been mistaken for an intern at my job, thrown out of a bar, and assumed to be my partner's daughter! on the bright side, people are kind to me when i don't know how to perform everyday adult skills. they are probably thinking "well that person is 16...."
@youronlyone@actuallyautistic@actuallyautistics@autistics I experienced to be considered way older when I was a child and teenager (cannot give estimates in years here). Today as an adult people usually hold my age to be 8-15 years younger. This effect vanishes when people know me longer, e. g. former collegues or friends from school.
I'd be flattered except that I strongly surmise that it's hurt me in job interviews (among with all my other autistic traits LOL). Hiring a professional woman with 5-10 years experience > hiring a newbie out of college. Guess which one I look like?
Growing up I was called an old soul, nowadays I get told by supposed friends to "grow up". Ppl my own age group likely (erroneously) chalk up social differences (ie flaws in the mask) to age.