Fair points. I like your extended metaphors :). Go for it, you won’t regret it. Try to just experience it, focus on what it is, and not what it isn’t and you might you find yourself falling for it.
UI is very opinionated and sometimes you notice the differences at the start, but as you use it, you realise you could love it more :). I’ve found this with a few things (Matrix, Libre Office, GrapheneOS). I haven’t discovered this with FF as i’ve been in a relationship with it for over a decade now :). I occasionally dabble in chrome stuff, but it the way they hate people that use more than 10 tabs is something I cannot handle.