Baron-Cohen is ableist. The studies never made sense. It's to know why we are autistics so he can fix us for whatever reason (I guess glory). It's not better and just like ABA want to fix us. The last research he wanted to conduct on DNA looks a lot like eugenism.
@jenandra@Tooden@Autistrain@andrewporter@markusl@cwebber@ginsterbusch@dpnash@sentient_water@actuallyautistic@neurodiversity@pathfinder He did much worse than that. He would repeatedly quote tweet autistic people who disagreed with him, claiming they weren't really autistic if they could participate in the conversation, and send his millions of followers to attack them. Also, he's a shill for AutismSpeaks. He'd rather look good to non-autistic people by "helping" those poor lost children than actually do good by any of us, to the extent that he's willing to actively harm any of us who question his magnanimous, benevolent narrative.
Having an autistic relative doesn't protect you to be a bad person about autism. In fact, I meet so many people with autists in their family who believed in fixing the autists and they had bad behaviors with the autists. The worst is they don't want to listen and they know better than you (the classic!)
I was already planning to keep quiet about it at work, and you've confirmed my decision.
I do think I need to be open to family, because I have a young relative whose behaviour I now interpret as autistic meltdown followed by shutdown. His life will be better if he gets diagnosed 40 years younger than I did.
@markusl@Autistrain@jenandra@hosford42@Tooden@andrewporter@cwebber@ginsterbusch@dpnash@actuallyautistic@neurodiversity@pathfinder It's very much a personal thing. One thing that I might be different to many people on is the idea that we need to be diagnosed as soon as possible. The kid doesn't understand & I have noticed this in real life. Those who were diagnosed very early in life, have been shaped by others' limited expectations of them.
They've been told, they'll NEVER have friends or relationships, live independently, have a career & dutifully they are despite them being intelligent, kind & funny.
To quote one of my favourite authors,
"Argue for your limitations & sure enough, they're yours."
I know I struggled enormously going through my life unaware of my neuro type but I also lived an incredibly adventurous, loving, intimate & fun life too.
I can second this about the diagnosed child. I saw two groups. It's not two closed groups. The first with an amazing support who know their limits, learned about themselves and about autism. You see the self determination, the good strategies, etc. Sadly, it's a minority.
The second is where child were told they will not be able to do this, this and this. Professionals and parents use autism as an excuse. Later, the child, now teenager or adult, use autism as an excuse too. Or worst, professional and parent didn't talk about autism at all or want to fix the kid. These child later in the teenage years don't know about themselves and who they are. They struggle a lot and often refuse to learn about themselves because they have to be like the others.
The good news is that people go from the second to the first group. With the struggles and the time, people change their mind and are learning about autism.
@Autistrain@sentient_water@markusl@jenandra@Tooden@andrewporter@cwebber@ginsterbusch@dpnash@actuallyautistic@neurodiversity@pathfinder This is why I haven't taken my kids in to be diagnosed, but I have had the neurodiversity talk with them. They all know I'm autistic, that it's okay to be different, and that there's a good chance they are different, too. We intentionally celebrate our unique ways of approaching life, and our diverse talents. I think having this understanding is far more important than having a diagnosis. It establishes a framework within which you can find your own value as a person regardless of which type of mind you turn out to have.
One of my daughters did get diagnosed with dyslexia because it was relevant to school. Her favorite subject is now reading. :D Turns out she's quite good at it, but she has to approach it differently from most. To my knowledge, not once has she felt inferior about it. I consider this a major success.
I have a lot of insecurity about it. Being told you do things wrong your whole life, and then becoming a caretaker for little human beings who are totally dependent on you, leads you to question every decision you ever make, and your own adequacy to every task.
Knowing and accepting your insecurity about parenthood is one of the things that set you apart from most parents. Mine certainly never admitted it, not even to themselves. Instead, they insisted on being right, always. That way they didn’t have to feel insecure.
Yes, the acceptation of the differences is important and more than a diagnosis. The best would be an inclusive world without diagnosis, celebrating the differences of each of us.
@Tooden@andrewporter@markusl@cwebber@ginsterbusch@sentient_water@hosford42@actuallyautistic@neurodiversity@pathfinder In my own case, I have been estranged from my family of origin for almost 15 years because one member was absolutely adamant that something I was doing was not only wrong, but not something I could be choosing to do (I.e., someone was roping me into it), and this arose largely from believing similar things to SBC.
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