The things she says will confuse and frustrate you. She will pretend to love and care for you. She will abuse you. She will hurt you. She will threaten you and manipulate you. She will try to make you believe it’s your fault. She will make you question whether you really experienced the things that happened to you. She will lean on you. She will expect and even demand things of you that no mother should ask of their child.
Go and build a network of support. Look at how other kids behave with their families. Yours is not normal or healthy. You are not a checked box on somebody’s list. You are not a trophy to be paraded around. You are not her friend or her therapist. You are not a dog to be whipped into obedience. You are your own person. She will never give you the stability you need or the love you deserve.
There will be times that you will not feel safe. You will get out. You’ll find friends who will shelter you, couches to sleep on. They see your pain. They understand. It will be okay. It does get better. I love you, and you will learn to love yourself.
And hey, it’s not all doom and gloom, yeah? The games are so fucking good. Like there’s a lot of trash but there’s story and writing in some of these that’s so profound and it brings you so much joy. I know it’ll be hard to believe at times, but it’s worth sticking around.