Oh yes. Adhd, autism here, so severe over stimulation, impulse issues. Also. Grew up in abusive, violent childhood, where the only conflict resolution taught me was to yell, scream, throw things, lose it. Took me years of therapy to to try to overcome. These are what helped the most, some I do daily.
Dbt, cbt. Focusing on chatter in brain, learning to control it. Various centering, grounding exercises, including
Narrating my actions. Now I’m opening the door, now reaching into pocket…
Close eyes, focus on each of the 5 senses in turn.
Close eyes, just move, without thought, I do this a lot, it looks kinda like Tai chi.
I have a lot of mantras, including:
Let go of the anger, let go of the hate. Don’t become emotionally attached to an abuser. No assumptions, no expectations, no judgment. This is not all of me. Observe, describe, participate. I am both observer and observed.
I’ve learned anger can be useful. Helps recognize problem. Spurs to action. But it’s self sabotaging long term. I don’t like feeling out of control, consumed with hate. I don’t enjoy hurting ppl.
Becoming a violent, out of control abuser, to me, is embarrassing. It’s low class, uneducated, and I’m so much better than that. I try to learn from my mistakes, gain greater control over myself.
To be filled with hateful anger towards someone, that means they have power over me. It’s a form of intimacy, commitment, and why would I expose myself , become that intimate with someone I don’t like?