TL:DR I am a truly socially impaired entity, I am thankful that I have really good & close friends to help me with this. (If that is not an oxymoron! ) ; I fear that spoons are soon to become a big part of my life. ; I am starting to understand that this journey I am on is many faceted , complex and Andrex™ long! ; Downton Abbey is still brilliant !
Today started early, as my days now do with an early morning cuppa and a chat with my Bestie.
Breakfast was had & Mrs Squirrel went to do the weekly shopping run .
I played No Mans Sky in co-op mode for the 1st time with the Cheeky Dutch Pixy who has been kind enough to introduce me to co-op gaming.
The experience was disrupted when an old Playstation Friend of CDPs joined us & my ASD triggered like a bomb going off ! I shrank away from both the new comer & my friend. I came close to turning off the playstation , but settled for flying off to the far side of the planet & changing all the privacy settings.
I fear that I may have scared my friend with some of the the things that I did & said, not that they were terribly terrible, but I am aware that my friend has her own battle with ASD (or ASS as it is in the Netherlands) & that was never my intention , but I had no real control over my reaction. I sincerely hope that a) CDP 🧚♀️ will forgive me & b) that in time I will learn tools & techniques to help me deal with such things.
A friend on Mastodon spoke of spoons, & the disconnect between the apparent & physical levels of exhaustion felt by some ND folk. I don’t know if this is a thing for me. I know that I never feel fully refreshed by sleep , but is that just me ?
This afternoon was a quiet one, a few chores & then a Downton Abbey double bill, with chinese takeaway & cider in the intermission.
Watching Downton Abbey: New Era , Violet has just died & my sentimental side is in full flow 😭, I’m such a soft squirrel on the quiet!
Final Thoughts:
The full force of my Social Interaction Impairment element of the ASD Triad hit me like a spade in the face today, the force & speed of the trigger was, in retrospect , quite scary.
The idea of ‘having enough spoons’ was raised again, I have yet to fully understand this concept & wether it applies to me.
When I started my ASD journey I’m not sure I fully understood what I would encounter & what I would learn along the way. This is intriguing, fascinating & frightening almost in equal measure !
Thanks to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you ! 😊🫶🐿️🖖
@Tim_McTuffty
😭 Owwww DA2 always has me in God awful tears as well! Violet has always been my favorite and while I knew she wanted out the series/movies, every time I see the second movie it's a tear fest for me. Of course that won't stop me from watching it too often 😇.
Owww chats are nice. Hope you had a good time.
Sorry about my psn friend just joining. I'm still curious to who they were as I could not see a real name in psn unfortunately... Most friends text me first, asking if I'm up for coop. As as we were in a coop with a goal we set, it threw me off as well. I could see them talking but not hear them so that was weird as well. If I find out who it was, I'll definitely explain and hope they understand! It was not rude, my asd was triggered as well. If never join a game of friends without asking them first. 😔 Sorry this happened. 😔
Spoons yeah! Been dealing with those for years now. Since the fibro kicked in, I also feel like I never get all the available spoons after a night. I wish I could one day sleep till I naturally wake. But that means a) Arwen will be gone or b) I have someone to care for Arwen with me... I don't want a to happen for several more years and I dunno if b will every happen again... 😔 So it's an alarm every time. Sometimes I wake before it and while I do feel OK most of the time, I feel before the fibro I had 20 spoons and now I'm lucky if I get 10/12. Still, I use them for sports loads as that's what makes me happy to do. 😊 Spend them wisely... 🥄 🥄 🥄
Sending big huggies and wet sloppy Arwen kisses your way 🤗 😘
I understand the simile, but I think of it as battery power, personally. So much power coming in to charge, and everything that I have to deal with uses up some of it. When my batteries run down, the system crashes, and I have to take everything offline to recharge.
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