My autistic brain’s aversion to surprises extends to gifts. I’m grateful when people think of me and want to buy me gifts, but 99% of the time I’d rather they didn’t. Surprise gifts or gifts in general
can carry great expectations and generally bring me so much stress that I derive little joy from them.
Even if its something I really like. Its the same when buying gifts for others too, I don't like it. I'm not being "tight with money" or lazy.
@AutisticAdam@actuallyautistic I personally love gifts from people I know. Usually I make lists around my birthday and xmas. I usually don’t like it as much when they go off script unless they know me really well
@AutisticAdam@actuallyautistic I am very much the same way with receiving gifts. I know I am picky about my "things" and would just rather get the things I need myself. My wife is probably the only person who this isn't an issue with as she knows me so well. But as far as giving gifts, I love to it when I have the energy to really obsess about the perfect gift.
@AutisticAdam@actuallyautistic Exactly. I finally convinced all my friends and family I don't like gifts, don't like giving gifts. It's not about the money. it's the godawful stress of having to smile when you again get a present you don't want in the first place.
@twilwel@AutisticAdam@actuallyautistic so true.
I buy my own presents. My husband buys mainly his own. My grown up son writes a list and I buy him something off it. I ask my daughter what she wants - usually money plus I buy her some clothes (as she doesn’t do clothes shopping)
This autistic family is setting up its own way of doing things. #ActuallyAutistic
@twilwel@AutisticAdam@actuallyautistic
It's been ages since anyone bought me a gift, except for my mother : a bottle of my favourite wine and a box of my favourite chocolates 😋
(And also money for Christmas "so you can but whatever pleases you", even if I'm in my late 40s and have a decent job)
Like when relatives that don't know me get me generic stuff like "smellies" or something. Why? I don't understand the desire to waste money and contribute to environmental destruction just to send something to someone you never talk to and have no actual relationship with.
I love meaningful gifts but I do also need to be in the right headspace - I need to have prepared.
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