you’re right, but if depression is an ailment, then it’s the responsibility of each individual to seek treatment. A lot of people wear depression on their sleeve like a disability.
I think a lot of people think doing good things is supposed to feel good, when in reality it’s more about piercing the veil. Take getting into shape for example, people often exercise for months before seeing any kind of results. In fact, a lot of time, as your body recompositions by adding muscle, you end up gaining weight. You step on the scale expecting to have lost weight and there is no progress, week after week. You have to stick through the “it sucks” part. Then when you start seeing results and health benefits, it helps your self esteem and makes you want to keep going. I worked out for 3-5 times per week for about 3 months before I started seeing results. And it sucked. It’s supposed to.
There are no people out there who start doing something difficult and immediately feel reward, purpose, and fulfillment. You’re always going to feel like a moron who doesn’t know what they’re doing. Being successful means you must be very comfortable with failure and be able to reiterate your efforts until you see results.
I say this as someone who sits in an engineering position who’s applicants are expected to have 10-15 years of experience as well as a college degree. I’m a 9 year self taught engineer who runs circles around my colleagues. At this point, I’ve failed at more things than most people have even attempted.
I know it’s easier to assume than to consider, but I’m a first generation immigrant from a poor family who willed himself out of lows you can’t even imagine. Go see how people from impoverished countries live with your own eyes, then try talking that “no one picked me for sports teams and I was bullied in middle school” depression BS. I dare you.
That’s a pretty big assumption, and as with many things in life, repetition and discipline make up 90% of success. You’re never going to start looking at goals as attainable if you’ve resigned yourself to the mentality of “they had a better hand”
Does self esteem lead to self care or vice versa? Both are true. The only constant is action.
Yeah, that might be a good case. Isn’t the weight advertised when it’s frozen/before it’s cooked? How can they call it a quarter pounder if half of it’s weight is reduced before it’s served to you?
Mixed feelings here, what is an “inner child?” Feelings of exercising creativity and spontnuity don’t have to be “compartmentalized”… Just work that into your adult life. only thing that is different otherwise is obviously responsibility, that will never go away. You might have to answer to your wife as to why you chose to spend a whole Saturday watching cartoons, but as long as you make your needs known, that shouldn’t be an issue as well.
I’m sensing you have problems communicating your desires(ideas, inspirations, etc) … other than that, you might be feeling nostalgia. But nostalgia is mostly ignorance. It felt like good times at times because I was ignorant to how my parents struggled.
I hope the day comes that motorcycles are seen by the law and public opinion as a commuting option and not as a hobby… owning a motorcycle and living in a large metro area is great. I get to park for free instead of paying $15 per day.
That’s great. That’s basically the route I’m looking to take, though my background is mostly with networking, so I have some catching up to do in sysadmin skills. Thanks for your insight! I’ll give you a follow (idk if that exists in the fediverse lol) and maybe follow up with you later. It’s great you’re willing to be a resource for the aspiring engineers. That’s the kind of spirit I try to embody.
I agree with what you said, but until your household jointly makes 75k+, it’s really hard to save money when just existing eats up most of your expenses. I felt like I could breathe at 75k when my wife wasn’t working, 100k was when I could cover all bills and still have enough to save up a bit of money. That’s with my being lucky in that I bought my house 5 years ago and my mortgage is only like $900/mo…(modest 2br home in not a great neighborhood ) total monthly bills ends up being about $3k(including groceries, gas, utilities, car insurance and car payment being about $600 for both cars) Wife started working again so with her 50k and my 100k I can finally have financial goals instead of thinking about just surviving. Rent in my city starts at $1500 and I have no idea how normal people are getting by.
One of the worst things about being poor is that it becomes a mentality. If you have spare money after your bills are paid, you get used to it disappearing by life’s circumstances such as an issue with your car, so people have the mentality of “I need to spend it before it gets spent on something else.” That’s why when people do their taxes and get money back for child tax credits and stuff and suddenly they go from a couple dollars in the account to $3000-$5000+ they go out and buy sofas or nice televisions.
Dang, I thought it was easier to break into programming. Did you have any formal education? I totally felt that, I had to climb through the ranks one painful step at a time.