@shannonpersists@mastodon.social avatar

shannonpersists

@[email protected]

Hello everybody! My name is Shannon, fka Twitter https://mastodon.social/@shannonpersists. Alt: https://mastodon.social/@DiamondGlitter Elon Musk trolls my Mastodon profile. Off X for good! because nazis.🖕🏻
#NeuroDivergent . Openly schizophrenic. Pseudo-intellectual. I'm crazy and shy. I prefer texting. Don't call me!
She/Her🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ #Asexual.
#ItsOkToBeGay
Profile pic: Platinum Blonde girl w/ cheesy smile and purple glasses.
Banner: My Black cat Loki with yellow eyes.
I hope to bring everybody with me!

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

VeeRat, to actuallyautistic
@VeeRat@zeroes.ca avatar

@actuallyautistic

I told my mother that I am Autistic. I am in my 50s, she is in her 70s. I had not wanted to talk about it with her for a very long time now, because she tends to believe that anything like that is caused by her being a "bad mother"; she bought into that hype from a long time ago, and never let it go.

I got the expected response. She said that she doesn't think I'm Autistic, because she bases her knowledge of Autism on the people who make the news due to NT people thinking they are gifted or strange, and on movie characters like Rain Man. She said it's ok that I investigate Autism "if it makes you feel better". Not that I was asking her permission.

Then when I was listing behaviors of mine that I attribute to Autism, she said, "I do those things too." I said, "yeah, it is hereditary...". But she would never investigate it about herself. She could never accept the label for herself, or for me.

I don't know why I try. I guess I do find some peace with myself having told her, because I felt bad talking about it so much with other family members, without her knowing. I still don't feel the need to talk with her about my cPTSD from childhood; I know I won't get a good response to that.

shannonpersists,
@shannonpersists@mastodon.social avatar

@punishmenthurts @VeeRat @actuallyautistic I would say yes you're autistic. My 19 year old daughter is too.

GreenRoc, to actuallyautistic
@GreenRoc@mastodon.social avatar

@shannonpersists
I grew to be outspoken in recent times, because I need to be believed. To keep stuff to myself feels selfish and wrong. Suffering silently, felt like the wrong move.

Briefly describing MCAS, MC is mast cells are cells in the body that communicate messages to other cells in the body, like the ones that make one sneeze. But I dont have MCAS dx officially. Doctors and other health care settings are a threat to my life.

@Vincarsi @theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic

shannonpersists,
@shannonpersists@mastodon.social avatar

@GreenRoc @Vincarsi @theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic So yours is physical and mine is mostly chemical. I'm over-apologizing today and I'm sorry.

18+ Sci_Fi_FanGirl, to actuallyautistic
@Sci_Fi_FanGirl@hessen.social avatar

@actuallyautistic

Can anyone relate?

I've tried other stims, but I just can't stop. There are more fingers like this.

Used to "only" bite off the skin around the nails, but when I approached burnout, I started scratching and biting the lower parts of my fingers as well.

18+ shannonpersists,
@shannonpersists@mastodon.social avatar

@HaelusNovak @Sci_Fi_FanGirl @actuallyautistic I pick at my mole hairs to the point that it's probably a disorder. I also have facial ticks but I made sure the tics are fairly subtle. I can relate to the feeling of satisfaction when you bite down on your lip for example, just hard enough to cause a little bit of pain. I'm no masochist but it does something to my brain kinda like a temporary rush of dopamine.

looneybyron, to random
@looneybyron@autistics.life avatar

Still trying to figure out who in my family is neurodivergent and how.
Seems like there is a pattern emerging: If both parents are neurodivergent, chances for the kids to be is at almost 100%. If only one parent is, chances seem to be about 50/50.
Anyone know if there are actual studies on that or is there just not enough data from past generations?

shannonpersists,
@shannonpersists@mastodon.social avatar

@HaelusNovak @btaroli @looneybyron @pathfinder @actuallyautistic assuming evolution to be fact, one could say that paranoid schizophrenia was favored in an environment with many predators.

shannonpersists,
@shannonpersists@mastodon.social avatar

@HaelusNovak @btaroli @looneybyron @pathfinder @actuallyautistic I get that you guys are talking about Autism I know mine's not the same neurodivergency but there are some parallels forgive me if I'm cutting in with a different topic.

theautisticcoach, to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

I'm often asked how to "stop my meltdowns" by the community.

There are no shortcuts. There are no hacks. Once a meltdown starts, it cannot be turned off. Meltdowns ARE NOT tantrums.

They are the result of your needs not being met.

What are your needs?

@actuallyautistic

shannonpersists,
@shannonpersists@mastodon.social avatar

@GreenRoc @Vincarsi @theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic I had a really bad rage disorder mostly I when I clean my house so I told him and he added another anti psychotic and it helped. It is the nature of the disorder that you get better sometimes, other times you take another turn for the worst. I still have that rage disorder but it's not as bad.

shannonpersists,
@shannonpersists@mastodon.social avatar

@GreenRoc @Vincarsi @theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic I hear voice s sometimes and I have another theme where if something happens to someone I always think lm going to take the fall like if someone died and I were right there,. I can think of a few times that I had to get my roommate an ambulance. He fell on the dog and hit his head luckily the CPR I gave him worked and he was OK. If he had died I would probably be in prison for his murder and nobody would believe that I didn't do it.

shannonpersists,
@shannonpersists@mastodon.social avatar

@GreenRoc @Vincarsi @theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic So I cycle in and out of episodes where I think irrationally. But I learned to ride it out and not call 988 on myself crazy as I may be I learned to adapt through the episodes without having an emergency. Once my main med quit working & it was so incredibly painful in my brain to have that level of chemical imbalance. I immediately went to the ER it was close; I almost flipped out in the waiting room.

shannonpersists,
@shannonpersists@mastodon.social avatar

@GreenRoc @Vincarsi @theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic Psychotic episodes literally cause brain damage.. It is very much like a seizure disorder in your brain; in fact many mood stabilizers that doctors give you are actually seizure medicine.

shannonpersists,
@shannonpersists@mastodon.social avatar

@GreenRoc @Vincarsi @theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic I'm really sorry to hear that and I decided to share my story because your experiences are relatable. I don't know if yours is from trauma or does it run in the family mine runs in the family it hit most the females in my lineage.

shannonpersists,
@shannonpersists@mastodon.social avatar

@GreenRoc @Vincarsi @theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic I'm gonna look it up because I never heard of MCAS also I'm really glad that you're raising awareness of what you go through. It's not that easy to be outspoken about mental illness.

shannonpersists,
@shannonpersists@mastodon.social avatar

@GreenRoc @Vincarsi @theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic I'm really sorry I didn't even know your lungs are messed up that's gotta be rough.

shannonpersists,
@shannonpersists@mastodon.social avatar

@GreenRoc @Vincarsi @theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic That's just awful. Not so easy to just 'grin and bare' or 'suck it up' when it's not a magic flip that we can turn on and off. Who in their right mind would choose to have an episode in public and embarrass themselves. When I get really bad,. I don't leave the house. You never know the full story of what you go through until you step a mile in their shoes. Sorry to hear that.

shannonpersists,
@shannonpersists@mastodon.social avatar

@GreenRoc @Vincarsi @theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic That's just awful. Not so easy to just 'grin and bear it' or 'suck it up' when it's not a magic flip that we can turn on and off. Who in their right mind would choose to have an episode in public and embarrass themselves?. When I get really bad,. I don't leave the house. You never know the full story of what you go through until you step a mile in their shoes. Sorry to hear that.

shannonpersists,
@shannonpersists@mastodon.social avatar

@GreenRoc @Vincarsi @theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic I appreciate you taking the time to read our stories you don't normally give it much thought but you see a crazy person what many people don't realize is in that disordered mind there is a human being inside of there most likely suffering. Sometimes we get treated like a half a person and we're commonly scapegoated.

shannonpersists,
@shannonpersists@mastodon.social avatar

@GreenRoc @Vincarsi @theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic that's what breaks my heart the most.

shannonpersists,
@shannonpersists@mastodon.social avatar

@GreenRoc @Vincarsi @theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic t Thanks again it was very cathartic to be able to share this with you.

johnnyprofane1, to actuallyautistic
@johnnyprofane1@neurodifferent.me avatar

Tentative title, "Disabled Warrior".

Tentative podcast title, "Actually Autistic? Whatever Doesn't Kill Your Neurodivergent Ass..."

But I need my wife;s input before I get too married to it....

The nice thing about digital art is it never has to be finished. On this one I got too deep into the image. There's a lot going on you can't see cuz the midtones are too dark...

The non-gendered warrior SHOULD be creating themself (to coin language) out of and battling dark chaos, a bright spark headed toward a dim light... they never know if there's a goal...

Plus they wear a blindfold like Lady Liberty.

In the chaos behind them are dim objects of adversity... chains, car wreck, wheel chair, a fallen dove... others I probably forget ...

Working on the post...

@actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd @actuallyautistics

"Friedrich Nietzsche Ist Untoter..." A fantasy 19th-centure book illustration of Friedrich Nietzsche, vandalized by a bright red grafitti x. Next to his name, Friedrich Neitzche in the book plate, black spray-painted grafitti reads "ist untoter..."

shannonpersists,
@shannonpersists@mastodon.social avatar

@GreenRoc @johnnyprofane1 @actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd @actuallyautistics Sorry to hear that!. I have painful hands when I draw, probably arthritis. My vision isn't what it used to be either. So I haven't been able to draw anymore either. 💔

shannonpersists,
@shannonpersists@mastodon.social avatar

@GreenRoc @johnnyprofane1 @actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd @actuallyautistics I was pretty prolific in my 30s. It's probably not professional grade but it's still halfway decent

shannonpersists,
@shannonpersists@mastodon.social avatar

@GreenRoc @johnnyprofane1 @actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd @actuallyautistics That's so sad. It sounds like you have mad talent. I actually sit there and let everything be blurry instead of resorting to a stronger pair of glasses. I don't want my eyes getting 'used to' a higher strength because if I do that sooner or later I will require a higher strength. It's a never ending battle. My new hobby is doing my nails.

shannonpersists,
@shannonpersists@mastodon.social avatar

@GreenRoc @johnnyprofane1 @actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd @actuallyautistics Yeah me too I get lonely a lot but you kinda get used to being self-sufficient. I have a hard time keeping friends because I have a mental disorder that affects my personality. Wow this thread is so sad it's making me sad!

shannonpersists,
@shannonpersists@mastodon.social avatar

@GreenRoc @johnnyprofane1 @actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd @actuallyautistics This might sound hard to believe but if I don't take medicine for 2-3 days it will end up being a medical emegency

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