@Schnitzel_bub@lemmy.ml
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Schnitzel_bub

@[email protected]

I just steal my favorite memes from other platforms and share them with you guys.

You know, kindling to keep the Lemmy fire burning warmer.

Also, I love uncomplicated, basic stuff in life; like schnitzel, coffee and masturbation.

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Schnitzel_bub,
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I always liked the characters but felt there wasn’t enough plot for them somehow.

Schnitzel_bub, (edited )
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it’s just better even as UI. you can pick all the settings:

  • set default video resolution
  • autoplay
  • allow/skip ads
  • allow/skip sponsor messages
  • play audio only
  • hide suggested vidya/comments/description (toggle)
  • dark mode
  • no tracking
  • no email required for account
  • toggle shorts on/off
  • should homepage be trending or subscription feed?

I mean what the hell else can you want?

Schnitzel_bub,
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I stole it from imgur.

Schnitzel_bub,
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I used to have a pixel art tut on YouTube, about 30k views. as they kept changing their terms as the time went by, in my disfavor, and in the user’s disfavor, I deleted the video. fuck them.

Schnitzel_bub,
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I assume based on this image.

Schnitzel_bub,
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they said to tell you: “ditto, lol”

they’re still blue though.

Schnitzel_bub,
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I think “the more global warming accentuates, the bigger the Firefox and the smaller the globe” is the consistent rule. and when it’s just an orange circle with 0 fox elements, and no blue left, our time will be up as a species. Just fire will remain.

Schnitzel_bub,
@Schnitzel_bub@lemmy.ml avatar

sirko

Schnitzel_bub,
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sirko.

Schnitzel_bub,
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American penisiae.

Schnitzel_bub,
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it’s material hardness.

Schnitzel_bub,
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this also makes sense anthropologically, since humans seem to have a built in social instinct to compare penis sizes. so if you run out of peer penises, or it is deemed socially unacceptable, one can transfer the instinct into measuring everything else compared to one’s penis.

if this would be a social norm, the standard unit approximation would probably keep increasing incrementally over the years, for social reasons.

“that door is 6 dicks wide”

“I only measured 5,2 dicks wide”

“…”

The speed with which one dick unit would increase per year on average will be called SUE or small unit energy.

Schnitzel_bub,
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perfect addition tbh.

Schnitzel_bub,
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nurse shark will get you in jail.

Schnitzel_bub, (edited )
@Schnitzel_bub@lemmy.ml avatar

I am friendly but there’s no spots open in my spare time, so I end up coming off like a hypocrite. work - super friendly, off work - sorry, but nope.

and it’s jarring but 3 main friends is already hard to do especially since my family is super super fragmented, I’m an introvert and like slow living too. Just 2 visits a week spread equally to mom, dad (separated), 3 friends, granny, aunt. maths says we’ll only meet once a month already. no mate, I think you’re great but diluting my visits any further will make me super absent, and visiting more often makes me tired and absent in an even worse way.

It’s not your fault, I’ve had the good fortune of meeting good friends in life and made the effort to keep them around and the friendships have aged well. that and I was cursed with a dramatic family where nobody gets along. so yea, I know it sounds terribly douchy but it’s neither of us, there’s just no more vacancies.

I’m not gonna tell you all this when we get along at work, because it comes off as aggressive or belittling but what am I supposed to do/say?

Schnitzel_bub,
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Well what if you don’t have friend groups, but individual, very close, intimate, old, meaningful friendships?

Schnitzel_bub,
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the whole idea of the meme and the initial joke in the series is exactly that there’s no nice way of setting this boundary, so Jerry just becomes blunt about it and accepting that it makes him look like an ass. that is the joke

Schnitzel_bub,
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Sounds about right. that doesn’t mean we can’t banter at work and be friendly with each other - it just doesn’t necessarily transfer into the rest of our lives, right?

Schnitzel_bub,
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I think the situation isn’t relatable to you which makes it difficult to get the joke. and that’s perfectly fine.

Schnitzel_bub,
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it’s OK man, they’ll turn up.

Schnitzel_bub, (edited )
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He’s not an idiot because he’s a capitalist. It’s that capitalism encourages the idiotic type to try shit out, because those are the ones with most self-confidence. They’re mostly also the least likely to also really consider the responsibilities such as: your employees depend on you now, if you fuck up majorly, you’ll screw over all your employees’ lives, potentially their families too, potentially irreversibly

So yea, the function of “CEO” naturally attracts cretins.

And God forbid such a moron’s business becomes even slightly successful, because guess who suddenly feels smarter, less accountable for his terrible character flaws and toxic behavior? That’s right. Usually, businesses which make it are mostly just lucky. But you can’t explain this to cpt douchebag, he thinks he’s magically smarter and better at life than anyone.

And the better the company does, the more the Boss will indulge in his dysfunction and craziness.

That’s why, statistically bosses are highly probable to be the scourge of humanity. It’s not just capitalism. it’s just the toxic mix of luck, power and stupidity - all three combined with whichever the boss’ character flaws and weaknesses are. Only in capitalism, power usually takes the form of money, that’s all. But the issue is even deeper with people.

(i hate capitalism too, but I think blaming it all on capitalism and calling it a day isn’t gonna address such a fundamental issue with people. I come from an ex communist country and that shit is just equally toxic if brought to it’s extreme version - and for the same reasons to do with the human psyche too.)

Schnitzel_bub, (edited )
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That’s not a mint. This boss just hasn’t been taking his hard to swallow pills and is trying to delegate even that.

Schnitzel_bub,
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I think you’re statistically right.

Schnitzel_bub,
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It is a hard thing to accept for the shitty bosses I thought.

Tbh, I also considered there’s better memes to fit the idea but I haven’t found any right away. Considering it’s had decent amount of upvotes, if you like the idea but think the format ruins it, steal my idea and put it in the better format, there’s nothing wrong with that. Just wait 1w so people won’t be annoyed by the repetition. Maybe it’ll do better with your spin on it.

Schnitzel_bub,
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Mom and Pop better hire some 7 year Olds ASAP.

Schnitzel_bub,
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It’s OK man, it’s just yogurt.

Talk about lack toes in toddler ants, sheesh.

Schnitzel_bub,
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Wow what a story. That sounds pretty bad tbh. I’m sorry you had to experience that.

Is… Is this the actual backstory of… Are you Crusty the Clown by any chance?

Schnitzel_bub,
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Solidified, dead blood. Is it still part of you, or is it just stuck in you like a cork? Quick, rip it off to get rid of this existentialist grey area by throwing it out the window.

Schnitzel_bub,
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Potatoes go well with the (sauer)krauts

Schnitzel_bub,
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H2O before hoes.

Schnitzel_bub,
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Thanks, that’ll give me a bit of a pep in my step!

Schnitzel_bub,
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Ayay, yee!

Schnitzel_bub,
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No, I’d much rather someone completely misconstrued what I said, missed the point entirely and tried to take all the fun out of yet another array of jokes.

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