Yep. I’m actually hoping to adopt, but my parents won’t be in my kids lives if that happens, so they won’t have grandchildren. What I really hate is when they say crap like “I wish you wanted kids” because I evicted my uterus. Like I do want kids you assholes, they just want “real grandkids”, aka biological. And it’s especially gross since not only did I not want to be pregnant, it would’ve been extremely dangerous for me. As in my doc told me it was a really good thing I didn’t want to ever be pregnant because there was a 50/50 chance I would live to viability. What did my father say when I told him this? “I think it’s worth the risk for real grandkids”. So he wanted me to risk my life, to do something I didn’t want to do, so his genes could be passed on.
This is actually one of the main reasons I had for coming out as aro/ace. Not necessarily only grandchildren, but also remarks about getting a girlfriend etc. Coming out had the intended effect though, it has effectively stopped these remarks from occurring.
Meanwhile I unfortunately don’t really get the option to come out as being Ace, or Aro, to my parents, more so my dad due to his wild beliefs about the world from conspiracy theory stuff he listens to every day. And my dad is the one always making remarks about getting a girlfriend, and though the grandchildren part isn’t included, it’s implied by his expectations.
Yeah that sucks. I’ve realized that I’m overall quite privileged with my surroundings. I had expected some people to be annoying about it, but it all went smoothly. Sadly that’s not the normal way that coming out as ace or aro will go, mos people will be met with some people who don’t understand it or who actively hate it.
I try to be quite outwardly aro/ace and queer in order to take the bullet for others (as much as I can handle ofc).
I’m similarly outward with being Ace and Aro online, just there’s not really the place for it offline, between being in a rural area with less than open older generations, and my parents as I mentioned.
Online though, mostly I end up talking about it to spread awareness, because I’m well aware of how underrepresented Asexuality and Aromanticism is, and that same lack of representation is what leads to people never learning about themselves.
That, and having Autism/ADHD makes it enjoyable for me to explain things to people anyway, so it doesn’t really get old to me.
“I’m trying, but no one wants my spells badly enough to offer me their firstborn.”
“They won’t let me back into the orphanage after the last…incident.”
“I’m looking into this new thing called ‘advanced surrogacy’ where they conceive, gestate, AND care for the baby for you! It’s great, my siblings are already doing it.”
“You remember the root canal I had? Turns out they pulled the wrong thing out. Crazy, right?”
“If you want grandkids so bad why don’t you have them?”
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