I am so tempted to say F-it and just start my own ActivityPub Fediverse project to replace Lemmy. It’s such a daunting commitment, though, and we each have our lives to live.
This is a conundrum I’ve had as well. I really wish I could spend my time creating a better Lemmy backend from scratch. But it seems like a massive commitment. If I would know that others would rally together for the same cause, I may go along with it though.