Why would you have to write that out? Just say “they said the N word with a hard R referring to me.”
I don’t like when people ban words either, but I didn’t program Lemmy nor host a server, and neither did you. So you either follow the rules of Lemmy or leave, thats how it is. No different with private property or businesses, really. If the rules say you gotta wear periwinkle crocs and click your heels three times before posting, then thats what you gotta do or you leave. There is no requirement to stay, afterall. Who knows, maybe there is a platform that is better than Lemmy? You can start your search any time.