I feel ashamed of trying to contribute to open source for a decade, but never finding a way to. Could someone help me?

I can code, but I never found my way into any project. It's hard to explain, but I'm sort of a dysfunctional human being.

I always loved open source, and back then, I wanted to be an open source developer. I tried some things here and there, but they only became abandoned personal messed up projects or archived github repos.

I believe I could be a competent contributor to some project if I had some guidance, so I thought about asking for help.