Your feelings and concerns are valid, and while being trans isn’t a choice, going through with transitioning is. And transitioning is a lot! Especially if you don’t have a really supportive family.
As far as results- it takes time, and the hormones are only part of it. If your goal is to pass, there are lots of other things that will help with that - in my experience, voice being the most important. But even learning how to do your makeup, style your hair, and wear clothes for your body shape will help look more ‘natural’.
And yeah, it would be nice to wake up and be a k pop idol, and guess what? Cis girls feel like that too! There are insane, unrealistic standards applied to women’s beauty.
As you think about it, just ask yourself what will make you happy? What will allow you to be the best version of yourself? For some of us it’s transitioning, for others it’s finding ways to express our gender in ways that feel safe and comfortable. And while it’s important to consider your partner and her feelings, in the end it’s your life and your decision.
Lastly, I just want to say its really normal to feel a lot of anxiety about this, especially at the start. It’s a big change, and a long, difficult journey, and we don’t know the exact destination until we get there. I hope you can make a choice that will help you find peace. If you have any questions about the process itself or what to expect, I would be happy to talk more.