Definitely wish I hadn’t spent so much time convinced I was going to kill myself that nothing else was worth doing or learning or trying. 19 feels really far away now and I’ve gotten nothing good out of life since then.
I remember feeling somewhat like that in my teens and 20s, but later on I had 2-3 years of health incidents that made me seriously question how long I’d live. I was given some poor circumstances as a result but also made some regrettable decisions based on acting like I’d just die. It turns out I didn’t yet, and it’s been hard to figure out what to do next.
I figured I’d die in my early twenties, what with all the risky behaviors. I didn’t even fear old age until around 25, when it occurred to me that I’d turned my life around.
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