How was coming out for you?

I tried coming out at 18. It didn’t go so well. I told my best friend… who then never spoke to me again. It was embarrassing, we were doing the same training scheme and would bump into each other. He completely ignored me.

I was glad when that year was over, I went off to university and never saw him again. I do wonder about him sometimes, and did a little digging. He appears to have completely vanished.

After that, in my first year at uni I had an awful experience and nailed the closet door shut until I was 26.

I had a seizure that was… misunderstood by the people I was with and my own escape was to clam up completely about it for some years.

I did eventually talk to a therapist who gave me a good explanation, it just took some time.

LastOneStanding,

Easy. I waited until 1994 when I moved away to go to college. I hid it from everyone in my small town, even though I knew what I liked by the time I was about 11 years old. I decided to wait until I could far away from that place. I told my mom over the phone and she said, “Yeah, I knew that already.” Super easy. So was I in college. When I moved away to go to college, I stayed away most of the time. I found work to support myself to avoid coming home for the summer every year until I graduated. After graduation, I worked to stay away. I came back home for holidays only. My older brothers were a real problem for me, plus the people in the town I was afraid of. One of my brothers confronted me, yelling at me at Christmas in 1995. He attacked me and I kicked his sorry ass. After that, no issues. I found back then that it was very helpful to your own cause coming out if you could fend for yourself, depend on yourself, and keep the homophobes at a distance.

CodaChroma,
@CodaChroma@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

First time I tried was in middle school. She was disgusted and outed me to the whole school (conservative south). Eventually my parents found out and it went alright, I mostly denied everything.

I also nailed shut the closet door until college when I finally accepted/discovered again my queerness.

Came out again as bi and non-binary a few years ago, have tons of supportive (and trans) friends, my partner is amazing. My parents kinda try but I don’t bother too much anymore. I’m not really “out” at work other than being generally queer looking.

Overall pretty traumatic but I’m in a much better place now, gotta look at the bright side.

MrShelbySan,
@MrShelbySan@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

I’m transmasc and questionning if I’m gay or pan, leaning more on gay.

I came out as trans earlier this year and it hurt my mom quite a bit. She didn’t take it badly, but I was always her little girl, so it took some time for her to adapt and properly accept it. My dad doesn’t really know or care, that’s on him, idc either. My granny is super cool and asks me a ton of questions on the process (I’m on T since May and looking into top surgery). Rest of my family took it ok, they don’t seem to care much lol.

My friends are LGBTQ+ themselves and extremely supportive.

As for the gay thing, there isn’t really any “coming out” required, but I always like men, even when I presented as female.

zoe_codez,
@zoe_codez@lemmy.digital-alchemy.app avatar

There were small signs all through my life, but I didn’t put them together until I was in my 30s. Was in an otherwise pretty secure spot in life, so I had a very emotional but pretty ideal coming out experience. Both friends and work were accepting, and my family was already no contact

NecroticEuphoria,

I usually don’t talk about my sexuality much, but when I came out to my mother she was just like: “Ok… Anyway, any idea for dinner today?” For my friends I always was ‘out’, so no issues there. I don’t have any contact with my father anymore, so no idea how he would react. Last I heard is he did vote for some right wing party though, so probably not that well.

Two_Wheels,

I came out when I was 49. It took a while to come out to myself. In contrast, coming out to family and friends was easy. Most everyone was supportive, although Mom doesn’t really want to talk about it.

The downside of growing up in the 70’s and 80’s was society was sh1t for LGBTs, the upside was when I did finally come out, there was really no risk of getting kicked out. If someone didn’t like it, they were invited to go to h3ll. 🏳️‍🌈😁

murkrow,

my friends have all taken it well, my parents took both coming outs poorly (truly there is nothing like “I GIVE UP HAVE A NICE LIFE” being yelled at u by ur mom 🥺)

Triasha,

I’m sorry for how your family reacted.

My mother cried. It was hard. She tried to deny it. I was really hoping she would help me and even be happy for me, but she was devastated. She said she would always love me and she didn’t call me any names, but that was the best I got for years.

My aunt and Uncle, who I was working for at the time, were just kinda shocked. They gave a tepid “we hope this makes you happy.”

All my friends were cool. Nearly all my coworkers were cool. A couple years later, when I came out to my new job to transition full time, management was super cool. They did everything I asked and used my new name from day one.

I had some rough spots, lost touch with some of my family. But overall I was prepared for much worse. Many years later, my mother, aunt, and uncle, were much warmer and supportive at my wedding.

So all’s well that ends well.

Qj2Zq,

I came out as bi to my partner of over a decade. They congratulated me, and because were monogamous, nothing else really changed. Then they announced that they “could lose me to anyone” jokingly. I shared the news with a few queer friends and we laughed at bi erasure memes.

I wish everyone’s coming out was as easy as mine, but it’s not, and my heart goes out to those who struggled, or still struggling to be who you are in front of everyone. We support you ❤️

HornedLizard,
@HornedLizard@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Came out tran to my family multiple times, got mocked and forcefully recloseted every time. Never coming out to anything again.

Xenobrina,

Coming out to my friends as trans/lesbian was very easy, with all of them instantly accepting me. My family was almost the exact opposite, with them being confused and angry at first and then denying it ever happened later 😞

KomaedaEatsBagels,
@KomaedaEatsBagels@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

coming out was great with my friends but for my family, i was immediately invalidated when i came out as ace and also when i came out as trans. lmao. they’re okay with me being ace now but we’re still working on the trans thing. they seem to think they’re doing a good job. they are not

superpop,

shit. everyone I told for years just brushed me off and when I started hormones my family got mad as hell and were all “I thought that was just a phase!” what absolute fucking shit

LuckingFurker,

That is fucking incredible, what is wrong with them?

Nerorero,
@Nerorero@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Most people assume I’m gay, I have to come out as bi a lot. Lol, Just too much fashion sense I guess

mewpichu,

I’m ace/homoromantic.

Thankfully I live in a pretty queer friendly area. I never technically came out, I just brought my GF with me to Thanksgiving one year. I absolutely gave my parents a heads up, but my personal philosophy is that if I wouldn’t have to come out if I was straight, I shouldn’t have to come out just because I’m gay. Thankfully my parents stopped inviting the problematic parts of my family years ago, so everything went super well. I’m effectively out to everyone generally in my day to day life.

My being ace though is nobody’s business except for my GF and tends to not come up in conversation lol

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