I get what you’re saying. When I was a kid playing some Red Alert or C&C game with a friend we’d be censored when saying “cum?” - which means “how?” in our language. I thought that was stupid as shit. I still do now for the most part. It’s hard to have a conversation when everyday words are censored (and I was too young to know the meaning in english).
A more relatable example: If a group of friends of a particular minority want to play with each other and call each other names (that would be offensive otherwise) that may be in good fun and censoring that would be stupid and ruin the fun.
BUT
If somebody is being harassed and targeted for being black or asian or a girl or whatever, that’s way different. I think we’ve all seen it happen quite often and it sucks and it often goes on for quite a lot - some of these games can last for up to 90 minutes AND they punish you if you leave early! So having to endure all that abuse certainly sucks and that sort of behavior should be punishable so that people don’t become punching bags for others to vent their frustration. In a lot of cases these folks are kids or young adults.
I think companies could deal with that but they choose not to out of convenience (having to implement some sort of moderation could get expensive and to do it properly you need to get some human eyes involved to decide on the matter), and fear that they might lose a paying customer (in case they ban an abusive player for example).