I did write a lengthy (nice) response to try to better articulate my own subjective experience for comparison so we could continue to try to better understand one another but then I kinda just lost faith in the idea…
Do you possibly speak more than one language to any degree? If you think of the words “yes” and “oui” (yes in French), there must be some difference in what you experience inside your mind despite the meaning being the same. So what is different between the two subjective experiences for you?