Honestly, I feel for you. I’m not gonna get into specifics here but there’s better ways. I’ve been known to be somewhat self destructive to put it mildly. I’m probably not gonna be able to tell you something that would make a difference for you, even if we were best friends. You’re not alone man and probably don’t fuck up as much as you think.
Too bad about the chicken, fuck em. Family can be poison, fuck em.
Use that money to make your life better.
Something something insert life changing fantastic advice here.